(Closed) My SO took me ring shopping! (Happy, but also kind of disappointed?)

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Have you thougth of designing a ring that will reflect both of your tastes?  Maybe that will help you both with a compromise?


Post # 3
1282 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Is it possible he acted like he didn’t like your favorite so that he could surprise you with it when he proposes? 

Post # 4
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Awww I’m sorry if you can’t get your dream ring. I hope he’s trying to surprise you like PP said!!! 🙂 But yay for going ring shopping and getting to spend some time with your SO! 🙂

Post # 6
9782 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I guess I just dont get the “we both have to like it”! Of course you dont want him to just loathe the sight of the ring or anything, but youre the one wearing it! I would think your tastes and preferences would matter much more.

He can luuuuv his wedding band.

Post # 7
1499 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t understand what the point of taking you shopping was if you’re going to end up with a ring you dislike anyway? Why didn’t he just buy the ring he liked and have a surprise proposal?

Post # 8
6531 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

It kind of seems like you may run the risk of wearing a ring for the rest of your life the he loves but you, although loving the sentiment behind it, may not actually like the look of. I underatand him wanting to like it too but the idea of him giving you the ring he really liked should make you feel disapointed (not saying you are wrong to feel like this at all!)


I think designing a ring together is an excellent idea and an excellent way to find a compromise.

Post # 9
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

What was the point of taking you ring shopping if he isn’t going to take your preferences into consideration? Sorry he did that to you. Rude.

Post # 11
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I can relate to how you feel. I would feel the exact same way. If I went shopping with my SO and saw my ideal ring, I would find it very chalenging to get it out of my mind! I can’t blame your SO to want to chose ” his gift to you’ but at the same time it’s so hard not to have the final say on the ring you’ll wear for the rest of your life. 

Maybe you’ll learn to love it as much as your number 1 because of what it represents? 

Post # 13
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

plum_pudding:  I think the e-ring is something you both need to like. Yes, you are the one who will be wearing it, but he is the one buying it. Since he is going to spend a lot of money on a gift that symbolizes his love for you, it needs to be something that he likes and will be proud to see on your finger, as well as something that you like wearing. 

You said his #1 choice was your #3 choice, but it sounds like your #1 choice was maybe his #50 choice. I think that both of you getting something in your top 5 a very successful compromise! I can understand having a ring that you’ve always imagined as your ideal dream engagement ring, but it’s very rare to get exactly what we want, and I think for most things in life, even getting something in the top 5 of what you want is something to be celebrated. Marriage is full of compromises, so this is just the beginning.

Post # 14
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Dreams Resort and Spa, Puerto Aventuras, Mexico

Keep looking! My fiance and I had similar issues when we went looking together for the first time (also in an LDR), but managed to find one that be both love. My advice is to figure out which details specifically you each like, then search for rings that combine them. The perfect ring may not have all of these, but will be a balance of your tastes. Congratulations on your impending engagement!

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