Post # 1
So I spent the weekend with my SO (yay!). We’re in an LDR right now so I loved that we got to spend three days together- including attending a family reunion- but still good quality time.
And we went to look at rings. At places he had already scoped out ahead of time! (I’m thrilled that he’s been seriously looking) and from the sounds of things he’s definitely done his research.
We liked SOME of the same rings, but we had different favourites at different stores. He made it clear that he did not like my preferred ring (it was in his price range, but he disliked the setting and white gold apparently :/…) and it’s fairly certain that he will be buying his favourite ring for me in the near future. I do like the ring that he liked best- but I can’t help feeling disappointed that it’s not going to be the style (or even the type of center stone, or shape of center stone…) that I liked best.
I’m extremely excited about getting engaged soon, but I can’t help but feel disappointed. I guess it’s supposed to be reflective of his tastes too, and I understand that it’s a gift from him to me- I’m not getting my number #1 choice, which was an estate piece, sold as is and it would be expensive to have it reset in a setting that he liked (yellow gold, lower…)
*sigh* thanks for letting me vent.
Post # 2
Have you thougth of designing a ring that will reflect both of your tastes? Maybe that will help you both with a compromise?
Post # 3
Is it possible he acted like he didn’t like your favorite so that he could surprise you with it when he proposes?
Post # 4
Awww I’m sorry if you can’t get your dream ring. I hope he’s trying to surprise you like PP said!!! 🙂 But yay for going ring shopping and getting to spend some time with your SO! 🙂
Post # 5
The idea was to find something we could agree on. We both have to like it. So compromise it is. I know I’ll love it at the end of the day because it’s from him and because of what it means.
Possible. But unlikely. Although he can be pretty sneaky…
It’s wonderful that it’s happening soon at any rate. 🙂
Post # 6
I guess I just dont get the “we both have to like it”! Of course you dont want him to just loathe the sight of the ring or anything, but youre the one wearing it! I would think your tastes and preferences would matter much more.
He can luuuuv his wedding band.
Post # 7
I don’t understand what the point of taking you shopping was if you’re going to end up with a ring you dislike anyway? Why didn’t he just buy the ring he liked and have a surprise proposal?
Post # 8
It kind of seems like you may run the risk of wearing a ring for the rest of your life the he loves but you, although loving the sentiment behind it, may not actually like the look of. I underatand him wanting to like it too but the idea of him giving you the ring he really liked should make you feel disapointed (not saying you are wrong to feel like this at all!)
I think designing a ring together is an excellent idea and an excellent way to find a compromise.
Post # 9
What was the point of taking you ring shopping if he isn’t going to take your preferences into consideration? Sorry he did that to you. Rude.
Post # 10
Unfortunately a completely custom ring is out of the budget. It is something that we considered- but we cannot afford it at this point in our lives. We did price that option out :/
I don’t dislike the ring that he liked best. I like it, it’s very pretty. It just was not my #1 choice. It was more like my #3 choice… He wanted to get my okay on the ring that he picked- so he wasn’t totally selfish really.
If only. I don’t think he’s going to come around on this one. My favourite would require a custom wedding band which would be more $$$$
Post # 11
I can relate to how you feel. I would feel the exact same way. If I went shopping with my SO and saw my ideal ring, I would find it very chalenging to get it out of my mind! I can’t blame your SO to want to chose ” his gift to you’ but at the same time it’s so hard not to have the final say on the ring you’ll wear for the rest of your life.
Maybe you’ll learn to love it as much as your number 1 because of what it represents?
Post # 12
I hope so. I do not see that I have any other option here.
Unless I push for another one of the options :/ That would probably fall under “bugging him about engagement/wedding stuff” category. Also there is a chance he’s already made a downpayment on the ring (it requires some work as well).
I also don’t want to push him to buy something outside of his budget (and with the additional expense of a custom wedding band- that would possibly be an issue). I DO like that it’s well within the budget and not outside of his means? Ehh. Practicality wins i suppose.
Post # 13
plum_pudding: I think the e-ring is something you both need to like. Yes, you are the one who will be wearing it, but he is the one buying it. Since he is going to spend a lot of money on a gift that symbolizes his love for you, it needs to be something that he likes and will be proud to see on your finger, as well as something that you like wearing.
You said his #1 choice was your #3 choice, but it sounds like your #1 choice was maybe his #50 choice. I think that both of you getting something in your top 5 a very successful compromise! I can understand having a ring that you’ve always imagined as your ideal dream engagement ring, but it’s very rare to get exactly what we want, and I think for most things in life, even getting something in the top 5 of what you want is something to be celebrated. Marriage is full of compromises, so this is just the beginning.
Post # 14
- Wedding: Dreams Resort and Spa, Puerto Aventuras, Mexico
Keep looking! My fiance and I had similar issues when we went looking together for the first time (also in an LDR), but managed to find one that be both love. My advice is to figure out which details specifically you each like, then search for rings that combine them. The perfect ring may not have all of these, but will be a balance of your tastes. Congratulations on your impending engagement!
Post # 15
Thanks for the perspective. Compromise it is.
You’re right. He actively disliked my #1 pick.