(Closed) My SO was taken advantage of…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

He was sexually assaulted and should file a police report.  Be thankful that he trusts you enough to be open and honest with you, and good for you for being supportive of him.  This is a crime, and she should be punished. 

Post # 4
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2012

What a nightmare! I feel for you, and I agree the lack of trust that has come with this situation. That being said… I do feel that there is more to this story. Maybe I am blind sighted… but I just don’t feel that someone would go into a house and start performing head on a guy while he was sleeping without some sort of initiation or some sort of sign that this is what he wanted… Maybe the flirting was over the line of a little? I always think there is a line that some men cross, and obviously some women… Maybe you should dig deeper into this? Possibly going to the bar and asking the woman point blank? Just a thought…

Post # 5
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh jeez, I’m so sorry. What a disgusting excuse for a woman. 

It is definitely OK for you to ask him not to return to the bar, and he shouldn’t want to. He also shouldn’t consider those guys friends. No friend allows that to happen.

What was done to him was NOT ok. It was sexual assault. He should NOT feel like he cheated. Possibly counseling for both of you?

Post # 6
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with DaleLady – he has been violated. And in being his partner, you also feel violated. He needs to file a police report and perhaps both of you should independently see counselors.

Post # 7
Member
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with the PP. This is not his fault, so please don’t take it out on him. This woman sexually assaulted him! He needs to go and file a police report immediately and take legal action. What she did is not okay and she deserves the consequences of her actions.

Post # 8
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@DaneLady:  agreed. I know he will probably feel silly, but seriously, he was assaulted!  At the very least, he should not want to go to this bar anymore, or to hang out with these friends. They obviously aren’t very trustworthy :/

Post # 9
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jnasse:  Eek. I find what you’re saying very similar to the argument of “well, she was dressed like a slut…” No person does ANYTHING to deserve unwanted physical contact. Even if he was flirting with her, anything short of saying “come give me head later” means her actions were sexual assault. 

Post # 10
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I agree with the first poster… That is sexual assault and needs to be reported ASAP.  Men have as much right as women to choose who, how, and when they are intimate with another person.  This woman needs a wakeup call that her actions were out of line, illegal, and require severe punishment.

Post # 11
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@DaneLady:  agreed! It’s so hard for men to be victims of this because it’s so against what our culture portrays as ‘assault’, but that is what happened here. She is obviously a predator (seriously, how many men out there would just let her do that to them willingly? It’s disgusting that she went after a sleeping, vulnerable man). He should file a report and please support him through this – he wasn’t cheating on you and you should have no reason to distrust him going forward.

Post # 14
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with the first poster. He needs to file a report so she doesn’t continue doing this. Don’t take it out on him or trust him any less. He obviously is very upset by what happened and told you what occured because he trusts you and believed you needed to know. I hope the best to both of you and hope that the assailant gets what she deserves.

Post # 15
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I completely agree with PP.  He knows the woman, he needs to file a police report. 

I also think you’re right to imagine the situation in reverse– it’s hard for society to imagine men being sexually assaulted, but this situation needs to be treated with the same severity as if it had been you. 

I would tell any woman that those friends weren’t really her friends and I hope he has the ability to cut them out of his life. 

Post # 16
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@SadandScared:  ah, I see. Well it sounds like for starters, if he does go back out, it should be with different friends. I’m very sorry you are both going through this, but your SO sounds like a very strong man for being able to come to you with this.

The topic ‘My SO was taken advantage of…’ is closed to new replies.

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