(Closed) My SO went on a little rant (that I obviously drove him to)

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
5784 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Did you apologize?

Post # 4
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If he’s not ready to propose, he’s not ready to propose.  

Post # 5
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

This is the one thing men get to do on their own. My honey asked me what style I liked but beyond telling him that, I didn’t control the ring buying experience. I also agree with your SO and would not buy a ring online (or want my honey to buy one online.)

Edit – to make it better you tell him you’re sorry and want nothing more to do with the process.

 

Post # 7
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Apologzie and leave it alone.

Post # 8
Member
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Jen-in-GA:  You were being cute but I think he felt a tiny bit emasculated. We dream of being proposed to… and they at least think about proposing. It’s SO hard not to control it but it sounds like he really wants to be able to surprise you or at least be the one deciding what’s going to happen. 

I don’t know how you two operate so you really know best if an apology is in order or if you just laughing it off and not bringing it up anymore is enough. In my relationship, I would probably say something like “Sorry about last night. I’m excited to get engaged and be your wife so I joked about it. I’ll back off and let you take it from here. I love you!” and then smother him with kisses. But then… we talk everything to death. 😛

Post # 9
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Leave it be, you’ve already pushed it way too far. 

Post # 10
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

I don’t really think you did anything wrong, and apologising or promising not to talk about it could still be seen as a way to bring the topic up again. Since you said he was back to his normal self pretty quickly he’s obviously not fuming over it.

 

That said, let this be a learning curve that the subject is well and truly off limits from now on XD Just focus on loving and being patient with him. Seems like you don’t have heaps to time left to wait 🙂

 

Best of luck to you.

Post # 11
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@Jen-in-GA:  just let the control go. it’s in his hands.

Post # 14
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Jen-in-GA:  I know my SO took so long proposing because it was really hard for him to give up this traditional idea of him choosing the ring and surprising me. We all think that this engagement thing is just for women, but men really do think about this too. This is something that is really special to them as well and they want to do a really good job. Sometimes women (and I will admit I am guilty of this) take away that feeling by being nosy and pushing. By the sound of his rant he knows you are getting nosy and he is afraid that you will ruin the last “traditional” thing he has left and see the ring before he gets to propose. Honestly, it seems like he might not be comfortable with the whole thing. Now that the ring has been ordered, don’t say another word. If it comes in while you are home, sign for it, put it somewhere he will find it, and don’t say a word. Let him have his last surprise.

Post # 16
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Jen-in-GA:  Good! Everything should blow over for you then and it sounds like you’ll be engaged before you know it!

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