(Closed) My son wants to kill himself

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Get your son help – medical help. He has expressed the desire to harm himself, and I suspect he is very serious about it considering his recent “good mood”.  

As for his fiance and her parents, that is a lost cause.  Leave them out of it.  If your son’s fiance were my daughter I would tell her to end the relationship.  Life is full of disappointments and unfortunate consequences due to poor decisions.  Your son needs to learn how to cope.

Post # 18
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yess I agree with everyone please get him some help!! asap

Post # 19
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kara67:  Sorry but getting them back together is not the solution. You need to get him into treatment immediately.  You should be able to get him involuntarily committed for observation for 72 hours based on what he told you.  

Your son needs to learn how to cope with loss in his life without threatening suicide, which is why getting them back together is not the answer. 

Call the suicide hotline if you need assistance in getting him help. His concerns need to be taken seriously because his behavior is very indicative of someone who is planning to kill himself.

Post # 20
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Get him help…do not get him back with his ex-fiance.  The two are not intertwined, nor should that type of threat be a catalyst to mend a broken heart/home, etc. 

We all probably know someone who has been utterly and severely devastated by a break-up. *Most* would never ever threaten suicide.  The ones that I do need HELP…mentally, emotionally, etc.  I am not sure all you can do, as I am assuming he is an adult, but certainly contact the police for advice.  Contact your local mental health institution for advice/direction, and/or contact the suicide hotline.

Good luck

Post # 21
Member
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Seeking help for him is the number one priority.  It is unlikely his fiance would take him back and telling her that he was going to kill himself over it would likely drive her further away.  I second contacting the local suicide hotline and finding out what their suggestions are because you will need support as well through this situation so you can provide support for him.

Post # 22
Member
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

You’re approach shouldn’t be trying to control the ex fiancee into subjecting herself to that relationship again, you might find your time better spent looking for a mental hospital for your son so he can recover in a healthy way.

Good luck. Just let him know you’re there for him always.

Post # 23
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

Hi there. I’m a counselor and I agree with the others, you need to call a hotline and get him help IMMEDIATELY. DO not let another minute pass and DO NOT call his ex fiance or his family. This is no longer about them, this is about his mental health and getting him back with her will not change that.

Post # 24
Member
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Please take him to the ER to have him evaluated by medical staff.  They will then decide whether or not he should be committed for suicial ideations.  Please PM me if you have any questions – I work in a psychiatric hospital and will try my best to support you and share any information I may have.

Post # 25
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Agreeing with everyone else.  Call police and request he be taken in for evaluation as a threat to himself.  He will get to speak to qualified professionals and they can tell you if he will need more treatment or not.  Better to be safe than sorry here.  Calling his ex is just a bad idea–it’ll make it feel like her fault and it is not.  Frankly, the suicidal tendencies don’t just crop up out of nowhere and he will need to learn to cope without her in his life and his cheating probably means they are not getting back together.

Post # 26
Member
3054 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Call the police

Post # 27
Member
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

The answer is not his fiancee. He needs professional help. That kind of nihilist thinking is dangerous and he needs to talk to someone to learn how to cope with this.

Post # 28
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I grew up with a suicidal mother and learned that it’s no one else’s issue except for the person having those thoughts. Being a better daughter, me not being there, and your son getting back together with his ex won’t fix ANYTHING. People don’t jump to suicide unless there’s something else much deeper going on. He needs help.

Please don’t bing his ex into this. It’s not her problem to fix.

Post # 29
Member
1494 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Yes, get HIM the help. Leave the ex fiancee out of this!!! I went through this very recently with one of my immediate family members. Bad things just sort of built up and he saw no way out. He acted rather odd for a few weeks and we probed and finally he admitted to me he was going to end his life. It isn’t the THINGS or the EVENTS that need “fixed”, it’s the way of coping and handling that needs attention!! And he did get the help, and it has been so good since then. He’s back on tack, and he has learned to cope and to handle these things.

Post # 30
Member
3189 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with PPs who said he needs professional help and to leave his ex out of it. How would you feel if one of your daughter’s boyfriends had an affair behind her back, and when she broke up witht hem they threatended to committ suicide? If he is saying it just to get her back that is very manipulative and a horrible thing to pull his ex into. But I doubt that is the case since the one he told was you, not his ex.

 

Getting them back together is not the solution here. Insisting that he seeks help, and maybe even stays with you for awhile, would be a much better way of preventing him from hurting yourself. The fact that he broke down and told you means that he knows he needs help – so get it for him. But don’t make it about his ex – that would just be like you agreeing with him that there is no point in going on with his life without her. Wherever your son is, I would go to him now and talk to him, take him to see a therapist, let him know that you all love him and that this will get better in time if he allows himself that time, rather than ending his life over something that will surely get better. He will find someone else, hopefully have learned his lesson and remain faithful, and be happy again. He needs you right now for these things, not his ex.

Post # 31
Member
2153 posts
Buzzing bee

Your son is mentally ill. You need to get him Immediate help, do not involve the ex she cannot help him.

No one commits suicide because of a break up. it is not what healthy people do.

Have him evaluated by a professional NOW.

 

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