Post # 1
I have a child in 2nd Grade. The problem is, in the last 2 years at school, he hasn’t made any real friendships with kids who attend his school. I have tried reaching out to the parents and inviting classmates over but the connection just isn’t there.
On the other hand, he hits it off with the kids on his soccer team who ALL go to a different school. I get along great with the parents too, and I really would like my son to go to the same school as them. Especially for middle and high school, when friendships and good influences are super important.
I have even gone so far as to look at homes for sale close to the other school but there isn’t anything and it’s a HUGE expense and burden to have to move houses too.
I could apply to the school board to ask for a transfer, but that is a crap shoot and if they deny it then I am out of options. There is no “good” reason for the transfer other than the social aspect. My son’s current school is a good school, he just has no friends there.
I am now looking at renting a small place for a couple of months to have that address to use so he can attend the school with his friends.
What would you do? Anyone have any advice? Thanks for reading…
Post # 2
Honestly I would just keep your son at his current school unless he is not doing well academically or his life is in danger there is no real reason to transfer. He will make friends eventually. Maybe try getting him involved in activities at his current school.
Post # 3
I would not uproot everything right now for the social life of a 2nd grader. He will learn, through interactions and through life experiences, that sometimes you just have to seek out some friendships harder than others. There is no guarantee that he will still be friends with those same individuals through middle and high school. I would encourage him to try and make friends with his current classmates, maybe get involved in some school activities or arrange outings with other parents that you haven’t already reached out to.
Post # 4
I have friends who used the address of a friend or family member to get their kids into a different school. I went to a high school different than the one I was zoned for. The arguments my parents used – My zoned school was actually the farthest from my home (the one I wanted to go to was 2nd farthest…) and all my middle school friends were going to the other high school.
I was able to get in. Then my sister got in because I was already there.
Post # 5
I changed high schools between my sophomore and junior year for a similar reason. I had a small group of friends at my high school. Ill call it HS A. We were all super close and became friends with another group of people at another high school, HS B. One of my friends at my HS A moved into the zoning for HS B so she transferred…and after that, all the rest of us decided to try and transfer and we were able to get in. All 4 of us. It made the remaining 2 years of school a lot of fun, but I would have been just fine staying at my original school. My reason for transfer was purely social as well.
Id say, you can try and transfer your son to the other school but if they don’t grant you the transfer, leave him be. He is young enough still to make a lot of friends and there is no guarantee the kids at soccer would act the same in school as they do outside of school.
Post # 6
Thank you for your responses. The other issue besides just the friend thing, is that the middle and high school for our catchment area has a high population of low income housing kids and large rental complexes and it is a more transient population, so I worry about the negative influences that might be present with that type of population.
Our location is unique because our neighborhood is the only one with houses (rather than condos, trailer parks, rental complexes). The 2 friends my son has made have both moved away last year and this year. It seems like the because of the housing situation, that people aren’t really “rooted” in this area and people come and go quite easily.
Post # 7
Really? You’re worried about your son because there are poor kids in apartments near you? You’re going to find good and bad kids in every single socioeconomic situation, including rich ones.
In any case, I can’t even remember the names of my friends in second grade, so I wouldn’t go through all the extra expense for his social needs. It’s very unlikely he will have the same friends in middle and high school anyway. Second grade is still very young and personalities are still developing. Just let him keep trying to make friends in school while enjoying his friends outside of school.
Post # 8
Keep him in his school. He’s what? 7? Give him a chance. He will make friends in his school. Uprooting your life just for him to be around people he may not even like in a couple years seems silly. 2nd grade friends are not friends for life (maybe, but usually not.) And just because poeple are low- income it does not have anything to do with their character. If you were worried about the type of housing and people in the area why would you raise kids in that area to begin with?
Post # 10
I agree that his friendships/relationships are helping to shape your son’s future both academically and socially. You know your son better, but sometimes having too many friends around can be a big distraction, especially for primary school boys.
Post # 11
well…I was on your side a little..
Until your second comment.
I don’t have any words for that type of classism being thrust on small children.
Maybe there’s a socially learned reason your son doesn’t have any friends in his school….
Post # 12
Wow OP can’t believe your second comment… All those bad poor kids and their negative influences. Cuz well off kids are never assholes and drug users or anything bad (sarcasm).
Post # 13
Some of the biggest POS druggies I went to school with were the rich kids…
I agree with PP though, that uprooting the family for a 2nd grader’s social life is a bit much. Maybe if he’s having social issues come 8th grade, I’d consider a different school or a private school if that’s available.
Post # 14
Are in the same district to the other children, but just zoned for a different school? My cousin petitioned the school district to move her daughter after all of her friends went to one school for junior high and she went to another. They did allow her to switch schools. If you are not in the same district, short of moving, there isn’t much that you can do. If thats the case I would suggest attending all the school events in the hopes that your child can find some common interest with his classmates. Typically the boy scouts are zoned by school district, maybe he could join that to make friends within his own school.
Post # 15
sorry for offending you. i never meant to offend or personally attack anyone. It’s just my experience that my son is having trouble connecting with the kids at that school and i’m hypothesizing that maybe it’s because there is less stability in that more of the homes are rented and there are fewer established communities. that’s all.