(Closed) My son's friends ALL go to a different school :( what to do…

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
6889 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly I would just keep your son at his current school unless he is not doing well academically or his life is in danger there is no real reason to transfer.  He will make friends eventually.  Maybe try getting him involved in activities at his current school. 


Post # 3
5217 posts
Bee Keeper

I would not uproot everything right now for the social life of a 2nd grader. He will learn, through interactions and through life experiences, that sometimes you just have to seek out some friendships harder than others. There is no guarantee that he will still be friends with those same individuals through middle and high school. I would encourage him to try and make friends with his current classmates, maybe get involved in some school activities or arrange outings with other parents that you haven’t already reached out to.

Post # 4
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
lilsweetie:  I have friends who used the address of a friend or family member to get their kids into a different school.  I went to a high school different than the one I was zoned for.  The arguments my parents used – My zoned school was actually the farthest from my home (the one I wanted to go to was 2nd farthest…) and all my middle school friends were going to the other high school. 

I was able to get in.  Then my sister got in because I was already there.

Post # 5
1977 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I changed high schools between my sophomore and junior year for a similar reason. I had a small group of friends at my high school. Ill call it HS A. We were all super close and became friends with another group of people at another high school, HS B. One of my friends at my HS A moved into the zoning for HS B so she transferred…and after that, all the rest of us decided to try and transfer and we were able to get in. All 4 of us. It made the remaining 2 years of school a lot of fun, but I would have been just fine staying at my original school. My reason for transfer was purely social as well.

Id say, you can try and transfer your son to the other school but if they don’t grant you the transfer, leave him be. He is young enough still to make a lot of friends and there is no guarantee the kids at soccer would act the same in school as they do outside of school.

Post # 7
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Really?  You’re worried about your son because there are poor kids in apartments near you? You’re going to find good and bad kids in every single socioeconomic situation, including rich ones. 

In any case, I can’t even remember the names of my friends in second grade, so I wouldn’t go through all the extra expense for his social needs.  It’s very unlikely he will have the same friends in middle and high school anyway.  Second grade is still very young and personalities are still developing.  Just let him keep trying to make friends in school while enjoying his friends outside of school. 

Post # 8
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Keep him in his school. He’s what? 7? Give him a chance. He will make friends in his school. Uprooting your life just for him to be around people he may not even like in a couple years seems silly.  2nd grade friends are not friends for life (maybe, but usually not.) And just because poeple are low- income it does not have anything to do with their character. If you were worried about the type of housing and people in the area why would you raise kids in that area to begin with?

Post # 10
915 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
lilsweetie:  I agree that his friendships/relationships are helping to shape your son’s future both academically and socially. You know your son better, but sometimes having too many friends around can be a big distraction, especially for primary school boys.

Post # 11
953 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
lilsweetie:  well…I was on your side a little..

Until your second comment. 

I don’t have any words for that type of classism being thrust on small children. 

Maybe there’s a socially learned reason your son doesn’t have any friends in his school….

Post # 12
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow OP can’t believe your second comment… All those bad poor kids and their negative influences. Cuz well off kids are never assholes and drug users or anything bad (sarcasm).

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  fiver.
Post # 13
5081 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
lilsweetie:  Some of the biggest POS druggies I went to school with were the rich kids…


I agree with PP though, that uprooting the family for a 2nd grader’s social life is a bit much. Maybe if he’s having social issues come 8th grade, I’d consider a different school or a private school if that’s available. 

Post # 14
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Are in the same district to the other children, but just zoned for a different school? My cousin petitioned the school district to move her daughter after all of her friends went to one school for junior high and she went to another. They did allow her to switch schools. If you are not in the same district, short of moving, there isn’t much that you can do. If thats the case I would suggest attending all the school events in the hopes that your child can find some common interest with his classmates. Typically the boy scouts are zoned by school district, maybe he could join that to make friends within his own school.

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