- 8 years ago
I know this is long, but I would so appreciate the advice, guys.
My SO is a sports nut. More specifically, a rugby nut. He’s been playing the sport since he was a freshmen in high school. Now that he’s 25 and has been out of school for a few years, he plays for a local men’s club team and coaches at the community college some week nights. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy that he’s so passionate and continues to nurture his interests. However, the time commitment is hefty, and he also ends up with quite a few sport injuries throughout the season. Last year it was a broken collar bone and a dislocated shoulder. This year is no different.
During last week’s game, P shattered a very fragile bone in his right (dominant) hand. He has absolutely no movement in his hand or fingers and is going into surgery tomorrow for wires and pins. If all goes well, it’s estimated that he will be back in action in 8 weeks. He can’t wait to get back on the field.
I’ve gotta be honest bees – it’s been tough. On top of working full time, I have been doing all of the cooking and cleaning since P’s injury. He is unable to make the bed in the morning, and is having issues with “simple” tasks like refilling the toilet paper, scrubbing dishes, or folding his laundry. He works as a technician at a pharmacy and spends most of his day in goggles, compounding medications. His boss is modifying his work duties and they are talking about possibly switching him to part time for the next 8 weeks, until he has use of both hands again. This means half salary. We would still cover all our bills just fine, but it would be a little tight.
Now, I really am trying hard to be kind and sensitive. I have and will continue to stand behind P through thick and thin. I love him deeply and unconditionally, and don’t have any reservations helping him through daily tasks until he has more mobility. I understand that as we grow together, we will both have moments when we are not 100%. I also know we will continue to rely on each other for assistance, especially through old age. I’m totally there for him, as I know he would be for me. However, I can’t help but be a little frustrated. With Christmas approaching, the possibility of less income stresses me out. In addition, our anniversary is coming up in early January, and I recently had to scratch out the snowboarding trip I was going to surprise him with, which I’m sincerely bummed about.
I can’t help but secretly wish he would realize how much rugby ends up affecting me and our life together. I worry that as we grow, attempt to plan and execute a wedding, and bring children into this world, the after-math of his beloved sport will be a much larger burden. Do I keep mum about this? How do I survive these next 8 weeks without feeling bogged down by double the responsibility? I truly hate that I sound selfish, and understand that what happened to him was an accident. But I really just needed to get this out.