Post # 1
My SO and I have been dating for almost 4 years. We have gone to look for rings before but haven’t since last year bc I liked the last one we saw and didn’t feel a need to look after that.
Well last night I went to his good friend’s bachelorette party. She was drunk and spilled the beans about my SO having my ring. She told me he already has the ring and is waiting for all these weddings to be over (we’re attending 6 weddings this year). I kept telling her to stop bc I didnt want to hear anymore. While I’m very happy and excited to know that he has it, I’m also very disappointed that she told me and ruined the surprise. I told him that she told me.
I just don’t know how to feel. Now I feel like when he does pop the question it won’t be a surprise because I already knew it was coming thanks to her. I feel like there’s only so many surprises in life and I really wanted that to be one of them. I’m afraid it won’t feel as special. Please help talk some sense into me, bees. Have any of you ever found out he had the ring because someone else had a big mouth?
Post # 2
Surprise is not always a good thing. I had no idea and was in disbelief for about two whole minutea during the proposal. Maybe he will switch it up knowing that you know. I think it will still be lovely and if you love him and want to marry him then nothing can ruin it!
Post # 3
I’ll admit I loved that my guy caught me by complete surprise when he proposed and it would’ve bothered me if someone spilled the beans. But that doesn’t mean your proposal (or marriage) will be any less special. You still don’t know exactly when or how he will propose, so that will be a surprise. Plus I bet that since he knows you know, he will try extra hard to make it special.
Post # 4
Since you guys were ring shopping, didn’t you kinda know it was coming anyways? when I was waiting I would have loved to know he was atleast planning on proposing, instead of being so full of anxiety over what the plan was…
Post # 5
If you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, and you had already gone ring shopping, then it shouldn’t really be a surprise that he is going to propose. It isn’t like she told you the exact date/how he is going to ask. I promise that you’ll still be surprised no matter what. Even though I almost 100% knew when my Fiance was going to ask (and he did end up asking then), I was still so surprised when it was happening. Don’t stress!
Post # 6
Honestly, you care too much. The surprise only lasts a second. I pretty much knew he was going to do it the night of (I had some feeling because he was acting really nervous and he usually doesn’t). The surprise was a second, and even though I sorta knew, I still burst into tears and it was still magical. You must have already known he was ring shopping anyway, and had talked over marriage. You also don’t know the exact moment he’ll pop the question, so it will be a surprise. Don’t worry.
Post # 7
My Fiance and I booked our wedding before I had a ring and we picked out my ring together. I didn’t know when he picked it up, but it was still special when he finally gave it to me. I am not a big fan of surprises or being put on the spot…so for me it was kind of a relief 🙂 Don’t let his friend ruin it for you!!
Post # 8
I just knew my Fiance was going to propose on our trip to hawaii that he had been planning for months.
The day he proposed, I was texting my friends saying this was the day!
It didn’t take away from the experience at all. I think I would prefer to kind of know rather than be totally surprised. I was able to wear a nice outfit, have my nails done and look my best for pics.
Remember what it’s about: you and your guy promising to spend your lives together. A surprise proposal isn’t one of life’s necessitiies
Post # 9
Honestly, I’m not as keen on the surprise as a lot of people are. Surprises make me nervous, and in some ways a heads up would probably be a relief. But some parts are fun to have as a surprise, like the where and how of it, which it sounds like you don’t know? If you do, and you want that to be a surprise, maybe let him know that? I’m sorry that his friend told you. But the guy you loves wants to marry you and spend his life with you. That’s awesome. Try not to let her blabbing take anything away from that for you. Chances are, it’s still going to be an incredibly special moment in your life.
Post # 10
You guys went and looked at rings together. So, you knew he’d eventually propose. This isn’t much different.
Post # 11
I agree with PP. You knew it was coming, you looked at rings together!
I knew Fiance was going to be proposing to me within the next year or so after had a serious conversation and I showed him ring designs. I didn’t know when/how exactly, so the surprise was actually still there. There were many days I thought that he might (special dinners, getting me roses just because) but he didn’t, so I actually kind of let go of being “on edge”. I have to admit, his proposal method was a surprise (he made a scrapbook of memories with the question at the end), and that was sweet enough for me. I’m considering actually displaying it at the wedding!
Just relax, and it’ll likely still be a “surprise” when he actually does it. Your friend is kind of annoying for doing that though, I can’t imagine spilling the beans like that.
Post # 12
I was in on my proposal. I picked out the ring and knew the weekend it was going to happen. We had it planned so that we could tell everyone at out Christmas party that year. It was simple, at home, when I came home from work on Friday. He got down on one knee and everything and then put the ring on my hand and we went to tell our parents. It was awesome.
It was still a completely amazing moment for us, even without the surprise. It was magical and, unless he chucks the ring at you saying “wear this”, yours will be too. Early congratulations to both of you!
Post # 13
Thanks, everyone! I know I’m probably being silly since yes we did go ring shopping together so I could show him what style I liked. But I had no idea when he was going to pick up the ring or anything like that, so when she told me he had it, it felt like the surprise was ruined. But you’re all right, I don’t know when he is going to do it or how, it could be tomorrow it could be in 6 months, and it will still be special and romantic. Thank you for helping me feel better! 🙂
Post # 14
DH and I went and looked at rings together so he would know what I liked. I accidentally found the receipt in his sock drawer 6 months later. But he didn’t propose until a year and 4 months later. He chose to propose when I least expected it.