Post # 1
A mini-backstory: I was diagnosed with Endometriosis in mid-2006 after being on every single pill/patch/ring on the market to normalize my period (having 1 a month instead of 3 a month) and have managable cramps. I met my FH in mid-2007 and was on various types of BC until I had major sinus surgery in January 2011. My doctors had told me that I would have to be off BC 1-2 years to have a better chance of ovulating and getting pregnant (which fit well into our timeline) – so I utilized this healing period to get off all BC all together (although we do use latex-free condoms). After all of those months of getting things regularly…. my period’s 2 heaviest days are the 29th and 30th of every month…and I’m getting married June 30 next month .
Our wedding night is going to be at our venue, in a renovated old mansion where I’m not comfortable consummating the marriage as if I wasn’t having my period. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if we didn’t consummate it on our wedding night, but I’ve heard that the softcup can be worn during sex and holds back the bloodflow.
Does anyone have any experience using this? And/or there other options?
Also, what are you bees doing if you end up having your period on your wedding night? If it’s too personal, don’t worry about it but I’m just curious as to what the general consensus is on the issue . Thanks!!!
Post # 3
I was going to recommend a softcup… I’ve never used one though. Have you thought about getting fitted for a diaphragm? Apparently they work pretty well for holding back the flow as well, and it would serve a practical purpose as a back up barrier method for your condoms.
If you don’t want to go that route, are you physically comfortable having sex during your period? Is it just a fear of ruining the sheets/towels etc… at the venue? Do you use tampons? I’d just bring along some dark towels from home, some lube, and take my tampon out right before going to bed (the lube because you can be a bit dry right after taking the tampon out). Throw the towels down on the bed, strategically position yourself, and have a nice time!
Post # 4
Shower sex works for when you’re on your period. Preferably in the dark! But my Fiance is not grossed out by it.
Dark towels work too.
Sorry the timing is less than spectacular!
Post # 5
I always found softcups to be really messy that it didn’t matter if it was there or not really :/
Post # 6
Shower sex! Fiance and I swear by it during that time of the month.
Post # 7
I agree with MissNoodles!
Post # 8
That sucks. I’ve heard of softcup but have never tried it myself but hear good things.
On another note… I hope your wedding dress isn’t a huge ball gown. I was due for a visit from AF at our wedding and that was my biggest fear because I couldn’t pee alone, nevermind change a pad/tampon because it took three of us to hold the dress up! So a 12 hour product like softcup might be helpful there too 🙂
Post # 9
@MissNoodles: Orgasms are actually painful for me when I have my period heavy – I don’t know why but it feels like a spasm for about an hour after. It’s not really the mess too much, although I really hate the smell too. There’s a very small shower there too so I don’t know if shower sex is going to work then either… My dress is actually a mermaid style dress and I’m usually good with a couple super or ultra tampons… I think I’ll end up waiting until we get home the next evening where I could bleach our towels and sheet or have sex in our own shower. Still thinking about the softcup though…hmm
A diaphragam is made of latex too right? I can only use non-latex :
Post # 10
After the wedding, my husband and I were soooo tired. We had partied the night away, came home, opened gifts (because I simply could not wait haha) and by the time we made it to our bedroom, we crashed. Not sure if that happens to other people on their wedding night, but it certainly happened to us. We made up for it on the honey moon 🙂 after all, that’s what it’s for, right?
Post # 11
@cmvmph: Talk with your Fiance about it first. My Fiance freaks out at the sight of blood. We tried to have sex once while I was on my period and he was turned off at the thought of it once we started. It ruined the whole moment and we’ve never tried it since. It’s just an automatic turn-off for him, even if there isn’t much blood.
Post # 12
I know you just got your cycles good, but is there any way you could take the pill again for a couple months? You would avoid your period just for your wedding night. That was my plan if the B decided to make her appearance on my day/honeymoon.
Post # 13
@cmvmph: So we have the same dress AND we will both be getting a visit from her on our wedding day! hahaha I set the wedding date specifically so i wouldnt have it on that day but of course it started getting a few days late every month and completely shifted! I was stressing about it a lot but now i just figure there is nothing i can do about it and just go with the flow. haha no pun intended! as for sex on the wedding night heavy flow or not, if the mood strikes im not holding back. its my wedding night and im not letting that little brat ruin it for me! haha
Post # 14
Here’s what I do:
I wear tampons through my period, but if I want to have sex, I take out the tampon right before. Sorry if this is Too Much Information, but… I run a little water and use my hands to wash up the area, including just inside, and insert a SoftCup. My Fiance says he can feel it just a bit, but it’s not a big deal – he can tell it’s there, but it doesn’t hurt him or really bug him. Then I take it out after sex and put in another tampon. We’ve never had any spillage or problems with this method!
However, I would NOT recommend it as a form of birth control. Not even a little bit. Even diaphragms are only 90-95% effective, which just isn’t enough for me!
Post # 15
You can get a pill to delay your period. I used it on vacation once before. No idea what it’s called but you doc will knwo.
Post # 16
i think i will have the same problem..except i’ve had my period since 6 weeks ago, non-stop! Exhausitng and nerve wrecking :(. I do not want to go to my previous doc because i am having a new one, just after the honeymoon. I have an underskin implant and that’s what’s causing this crazy periods..so on the wedding day, it’s possible i will STILL have it..sigh