Post # 17
*There was an incident with a boyfriend she had where she was arguing with the boyfriend and he shoved her in the driveway while she was holding our son. There were 3 witnesses, all who have agreed to be witnesses in court.
And to court I would go. If my Darling Husband and I were to divorce and my DH’s new spouse ever shoved him with our child in his arms that would be the first and final time.
@vorpalette: I’m with you on this one. I can’t believe the responses.
OP I think you need to take this to a lawyer and see what he/she has to say.
Post # 18
I just want to say that I understand your frustration. I am right there with you. Some people shouldn’t be parents.
I have full custody of my son- Physical and legal. Ex sees DS every other weekend. It’s been this way for a long time.
At first it was hell.
I would send him in a clean diaper, with TONS of supplies and wearing a nice fresh outfit. He’d come home starving and in JUST a diaper.
He wasn’t watching DS and he jumped off a king bed and broke his collar bone. He then tried to COVER IT UP and didn’t tell me until AFTER HE CAME HOME.
He was always coming home dirty, hungry and smelling like smoke. He still does. Sometimes his dad doesn’t let him pee at night and he says he cries.
CPS has been called many times. They say he’s not being neglected and they can’t do anything and I don’t have the right to keep him from his dad. I understand your frustration.
The only reason I have the agreement I do is becasue ex signed off on it when we divorced. He only really wants to be a weekend dad. Even CPS told me I would never get anything close to what I have if I was fighting him in court. It’s very hard to take time away from a parent. Short of bruises and broken bones or sexual abuse-nothing may happen.
All Ex got was a warning when my son got his collar bone broken. I’m not even 100% sure he ‘fell’.
As a mother- I want to run in and rip my son from my ex’s stupid hands and beat him until he stop moving every time he terrorizes my kid.
Legally the courts say I have to send him. I pick him up with hugs, food, and a bath waiting and I document everything. I hope one day they’ll have enough sence to let me move or take away visits all together- but they won’t do that. So all I can do is be thankfull it’s ony 4 days a month.
Post # 19
The animal abuse/lack of the control of the animals around the boy and the incident with the boyfriend are the most concerning to me. I mean, I am not sure what kind of feedback you’re looking for here. Are you asking if you and your partner should file for full custody? And what kind of case you have? Or are you asking if you should try to get CPS involved while he’s at her house? Or . . . ? I don’t know what to tell you other than that it sounds like a sucky situation and I’m sorry you have to co-parent with her.
And FWIW, I pretty much hate anyone who gets the cops called on them for animal abuse or neglect. Like, I think those people are the scum of the earth and I think it’s sad how much has to go wrong for animal control to be able to rescue a mistreated animal.
That goes doubly for kids and child abuse.
Post # 20
@keranos: I disagree.My Fiance is more a Dad then my ex will ever be. Even my Ex says he’s thankful that DS has a good full time Dad in his life. I don’t think Fiance could love DS any more even if he was his blood.
I hate the term “step” parent. I like extra-parent.
Post # 21
@keranos: I disagree. My role as a step parent is to love my spouse’s son as my own, to treat him with the same love and affection I will show to my own children. My role is to love and parent him in a way that works for my family. I don’t call my stepson my son but when speaking both to my SO and SS’s mom, we all refer to him as ‘our’ kid. And he is- he is the kid we all love and parent and care for.
OP if you truly suspect abuse, bring whatever evidence you have to a lawyer.
Post # 22
Although the things you describe are certianly unsettling, I think you would have a hard time getting anywhere in court. It is unfortunate- but there is a high bar set for terminating rights of a bad parent.
Post # 23
@keranos: I disagree.
My mom was in and out of my life allllll the time when I was little. She would only come around when my dad had a new girlfriend. When my step-mom came into my life she was the for the skinned knees, nights I would cry because my mom would bail on dinner, doctors appointments, piano recitals, school activities, everything you could think of. I call her mom. She is more of a mom then anyone has been to me. It literally killed her inside when she would say I was hers and people would tell her I would never be her child. In my eyes shes my mom and when people say oh is this your mom I NEVER say no step mom I always say yes this is my mom.You don’t have to be blood to be a parent.
Post # 24
@MissFireFlower: I hateeee the word step. I have a extra mom and I neverrr use step mom I always say “mom”!
Post # 25
I never think 50/50 custody is in the best interest of the child. It’s a lot of shuffling around. It would be more stable for the child to live primarily in one home, and the other side pays child support. Maybe he wouldn’t flip out if he wasn’t going somewhere for half the week, and somewhere else the other half.
Post # 27
@figgnewton: love your response to a PP. My step-mom is my mommy. I went to live with her at 14 and in one year she was more of a mother to me than my real mom ever was. I hate that people think a step-parent isn’t actually a parent.
Post # 28
To this day, it sends shivers down my spine when my dad’s girlfriend refers to me as her daughter.
Post # 29
- Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum
People people, there are always exceptions to the rule. However, in this case I think my comment stands true.
Unless abuse can proved I think this lady is in the wrong.
Post # 30
I see that a lot of you disagree with something I posted. I’m just asking for advice on how to handle the situation. We already have a lawyer and he charges for any consultations or questions. I’m not looking for more custody for us and neither of us pay child support and that works out great. The amount of time we all get with him works perfectly. I just don’t want to neglect the facts that make me worry. I really DON’T want her to be a bad mom. She and I usd to be friends. I’m still friends with my ex and to give you an idea of what kind of person I am I never once asked him for child suport even though he cut out of my daughter’s life for the first 6 years. I woud call to check on how he was doing and would have her send him cards and stuff because I knew he wanted to be a part of it but was too embarrased because of not being able to pay anything. He’s now doing much better and they have frequent phone calls throughout the week. I even Skype with him while we are having dinner so that Evey can have the feeling of having dinner with a whole family. He lives very very far from us and is supposed to get her for only 28 days during the summer but I told him he has a lot to catch up on and can have her as many times during the year for as long as he wants as long as it doesn’t interfere with school. And he’s dating my ex girlfriend to boot (romantic exgirlfriend) and she and I are still very close So please don’t assume I’m the spiteful girlfriend who hates the ex. I would be happy if we had the tye of relationship that allowed us to be comfortable with asking each other to babysit and have play dates when the other parent has him since she lives right down the road but she would never agree to that. She’s a true “cold fish” at the moment.
Post # 31
Also, clarification on the boyfriend of the ex, she is still with him but dating different guys at the same time. They live in the same town as us and on the same street as my fiance’s parents. We all live within 5 minutes of each other and HAVE to drive past her house everytime we go to his parents’. Her gradmother also lives on the same street and has said some disconcerting things like “Amanda told me she’s only dragging this through the mud (court, suing him, taking OUR SON away with no contact for 2 months which triggered an emergency hearing in court, thank goodness. My fiance was losing his mind) to hurt you and I’m so so sorry”.