(Closed) My Step-son Flips Out Every Time He Goes With Mom

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 17
Member
2399 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

*There was an incident with a boyfriend she had where she was arguing with the boyfriend and he shoved her in the driveway while she was holding our son. There were 3 witnesses, all who have agreed to be witnesses in court.



And to court I would go. If my Darling Husband and I were to divorce and my DH’s new spouse ever shoved him with our child in his arms that would be the first and final time.

 

 

@vorpalette:  I’m with you on this one. I can’t believe the responses.

 

OP I think you need to take this to a lawyer and see what he/she has to say.

Post # 18
Member
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@lochnessy:  

I just want to say that I understand your frustration. I am right there with you. Some people shouldn’t be parents.

I have full custody of my son- Physical and legal. Ex sees DS every other weekend. It’s been this way for a long time.

At first it was hell.

I would send him in a clean diaper, with TONS of supplies and wearing a nice fresh outfit. He’d come home starving and in JUST a diaper.

He wasn’t watching DS and he jumped off a king bed and broke his collar bone. He then tried to COVER IT UP and didn’t tell me until AFTER HE CAME HOME.

He was always coming home dirty, hungry and smelling like smoke. He still does. Sometimes his dad doesn’t let him pee at night and he says he cries.

CPS has been called many times. They say he’s not being neglected and they can’t do anything and I don’t have the right to keep him from his dad. I understand your frustration.

 

The only reason I have the agreement I do is becasue ex signed off on it when we divorced. He only really wants to be a weekend dad. Even CPS told me I would never get anything close to what I have if I was fighting him in court. It’s very hard to take time away from a parent. Short of bruises  and broken bones or sexual abuse-nothing may happen.

All Ex got was a warning when my son got his collar bone broken. I’m not even 100% sure he ‘fell’.

As a mother- I want to run in and rip my son from my ex’s stupid hands and beat him until he stop moving every time he terrorizes my kid.

Legally the courts say I have to send him. I pick him up with hugs, food, and a bath waiting and I document everything. I hope one day they’ll have enough sence to let me move or take away visits all together- but they won’t do that. So all I can do is be thankfull it’s ony 4 days a month.

 

 

Post # 19
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

The animal abuse/lack of the control of the animals around the boy and the incident with the boyfriend are the most concerning to me. I mean, I am not sure what kind of feedback you’re looking for here. Are you asking if you and your partner should file for full custody? And what kind of case you have? Or are you asking if you should try to get CPS involved while he’s at her house? Or . . . ? I don’t know what to tell you other than that it sounds like a sucky situation and I’m sorry you have to co-parent with her.

And FWIW, I pretty much hate anyone who gets the cops called on them for animal abuse or neglect. Like, I think those people are the scum of the earth and I think it’s sad how much has to go wrong for animal control to be able to rescue a mistreated animal.

That goes doubly for kids and child abuse.

Post # 20
Member
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@keranos:  I disagree.My Fiance is more a Dad then my ex will ever be. Even my Ex says he’s thankful that DS has a good full time Dad in his life. I don’t think Fiance could love DS any more even if he was his blood.

 

I hate the term “step” parent. I like extra-parent.

Post # 21
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@keranos:  I disagree. My role as a step parent is to love my spouse’s son as my own, to treat him with the same love and affection I will show to my own children. My role is to love and parent him in a way that works for my family. I don’t call my stepson my son but when speaking both to my SO and SS’s mom, we all refer to him as ‘our’ kid. And he is- he is the kid we all love and parent and care for.

 

OP if you truly suspect abuse, bring whatever evidence you have to a lawyer.

Post # 22
Member
7898 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Although the things you describe are certianly unsettling, I think you would have a hard time getting anywhere in court.  It is unfortunate- but there is a high bar set for terminating rights of a bad parent.

 

Post # 23
Member
2399 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@keranos:  I disagree.

My mom was in and out of my life allllll the time when I was little. She would only come around when my dad had a new girlfriend. When my step-mom came into my life she was the for the skinned knees, nights I would cry because my mom would bail on dinner, doctors appointments, piano recitals, school activities, everything you could think of. I call her mom. She is more of a mom then anyone has been to me. It literally killed her inside when she would say I was hers and people would tell her I would never be her child. In my eyes shes my mom and when people say oh is this your mom I NEVER say no step mom I always say yes this is my mom.You don’t have to be blood to be a parent.

Post # 24
Member
2399 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MissFireFlower:  I hateeee the word step. I have a extra mom and I neverrr use step mom I always say “mom”!

Post # 25
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I never think 50/50 custody is in the best interest of the child.  It’s a lot of shuffling around.  It would be more stable for the child to live primarily in one home, and the other side pays child support.  Maybe he wouldn’t flip out if he wasn’t going somewhere  for half the week, and somewhere else the other half.  

Post # 26
Member
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

  1. My mom only fought for custody of me because she wanted the money and wanted to hurt my dad.  So for a PP to suggest a parent only fights for a kid they want is ignorant.
  2. My step-mom IS one of my parents and I DO consider her my mother.  So for a PP to attack you for referring to your step son as “our son” when you’re his step-mom, not his birth mom, also seems incredibly ignorant.  It’s not about blood relation.  Even if you aren’t ever called “mom” by this kid, you are one of his parents.
  3. I do think there seems to be some level of neglect/abuse.  I think you should look into it more.

 

Post # 27
Member
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@figgnewton:  love your response to a PP.  My step-mom is my mommy.  I went to live with her at 14 and in one year she was more of a mother to me than my real mom ever was.  I hate that people think a step-parent isn’t actually a parent.

Post # 28
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@keranos:  +1 

To this day, it sends shivers down my spine when my dad’s girlfriend refers to me as her daughter.  

Post # 29
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum

People people, there are always exceptions to the rule. However, in this case I think my comment stands true.

Unless abuse can proved I think this lady is in the wrong.

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