(Closed) My stepdad told me that I should not ask my mom for wedding help.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 7
Member
1783 posts
Buzzing bee

Has your mother been helpful and involved up until now?

 

Post # 9
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Use your FI’s mom.  Sounds like your stepdad is just giving you a headsup on something going on with her/them.  

do you have aunts/cousins…. were you really, with three weeks out, leaning on your mom this much? 

Post # 10
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Just talk to your mom and say step dad raised some concerns and you want to check with her to see if everything is okay and if you need to reevaluate your situation.

That’s really strange he said that! Do you have a friend that can step in and help if there really is something going on with her? 

Post # 12
Member
1783 posts
Buzzing bee

I hate to even have this terrible thought pass through my brain, but if this is unusual behavior I wonder if there may be something more concerning (like a health issue or problems with another child) that they aren’t mentioning right now because this is supposed to be a happy time. 

Post # 13
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Was he talking about financial help?  They may be having trouble with their finances, and he’s trying to protect your mom from the guilt of saying no to you.  Or there may be something else going on with them – she may be overwhelmed with everything going on.  Either way, I’d try to clarify with him if everything’s ok, if he says yes, then I would respect his request and not ask for any more assistance.

Post # 16
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You said that she’ll help someone until she’ll collapse.  This sounds like my mom.  She will bend over backwards, take out a bank loan and never tell you something is wrong.  It sounds like your stepfather is coming from an honest place and you even said he was a really sweet person.  He’s probably worried about your mom over-extending herself and who knows…maybe your mother even said something to him about being overwhelmed.  

There is probably a very valid reason he said that to you.  I would talk to your mom (if you think she’ll be honest with you) or ask for your FMIL’s help.  

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