- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I was engaged at 22, married 6 months later civil ceremony, no wedding, flowers, reception, no dress no wedding bands. Come next June he is giving me the wedding of my dreams. We’ve been together for 4 years.
My female friends/roommates are jealous I’m planning my wedding now without the knowledge of all the suffering that it took to get there.
If you look around you, no one is going to tell you to your face that they feel inadequate in anyway, they will all LIE straight to your face that their lives are perfect and continue to show off. And when people ask each other if anything is wrong, why would they tell you their lives are anything but perfect?
But I will tell all of you “waiting bees” how difficult it was and STILL is in jumping into a marriage this young. It was not a mistake at all in my eyes but it was definitely a lot harder than it should have been because of lack of wisdom and experience.
It took both of us 5 years to complete undergrad and we lived off of cereal and milk at one point for 3 meals a day to pay for rent together
living together during college was difficult as landlords, houses, apartments didn’t want to rent to people who couldn’t rent a car for themselves why let them rent an apartment?
We had to move EVERY 6 months to a point where we threw everything away that did not fit in our compact car for a single move, it was hard to be sentimental.
After all the internships, paid or unpaid, that lasted from 3 months to 6 months, my SO finally got a job offer for a full time position and is able to work his dream job and we hope that this will be one of the last moves in our lives. After many nights of confirming the offer was real and making sure we didn’t dream this up, we decided to get married the very next week.
My friends who are recent college grads are jealous that I’m “getting married” planning a wedding and living with a guy with a great paying job who is taking care of me, they’re consumed with some kind of timeline that they wanted for their own lives but…
they never lived with us so they didn’t get to see how we couldn’t go out to eat and cried over how often we had to move along with losing little money here and there for stupid charges on deposits.
They never got to see all the times we broke down receiving a bill we didn’t see coming or the fights we had not being able to go out with any of our friends and consequently the friends we lost along the way.
They weren’t there when his mom nutted up and disowned him and donated his car, or when his dad neglected to renew his health insurance.
They don’t see the effort I put into writing his resume and applying online for jobs for my SO because initially he didn’t have the confidence to do it himself.
They weren’t there to see us struggle to put together money for my grandmother’s funeral and services and coming up short.
Even after getting the dream job, moving again and finally having a steady income, we will continue to struggle as I am pursuing graduate school and he could barely pay for my applications and tests as we pay back our student loans.
We don’t own a home, we are thousands in debt from student loans, and are the first in our family to have a college education which reflects back on most of our extended family who still work in unskilled labor.
I could be homeless, hungry, and or dying but I would still be happy because I have him. With the money from his first internship he bought me a diamond ring.
Please don’t be jealous of the house, wedding, car, ring or whatever it is you think you want/need. Love does conquer all. I could go without it all as long as he was with me.
My happiness comes from having arms that hold me at night, hands that wipe away my tears, someone to share all my troubles with in a vulnerable way that I could never do with anyone else. Someone who loves me whether we’re rich, poor, sick, or homeless (and we have been). If you have that kind of love in your life, the kind that inspires you, motivates, and encourages you to be a better person what more do you need?