(Closed) My thank you note faux pas. What should I do?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do the Bees think?
    Rewrite them : (1 votes)
    2 %
    No need to rewrite the ones that are already done : (41 votes)
    95 %
    Other. (please explain) : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think it’s fine as long as the note was personalized in some way.

    Post # 4
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    That’s not a faux pas.  You are fine!!  We didn’t say anything specific about what we will use the money for.  We just said “it will be a big help towards starting our life together”.  As long as the note was personal and heartfelt your guests will be very happy to receive it.

    Post # 5
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I made this same mistake. Honestly, I tried but “we’ll be using the money for house stuff” (which we did) sounded too off. I personally see it this way, if is a thank you note I would appreciate getting, then it is good in my book.

    Post # 6
    3254 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I don’t think it’s a major faux pas. If you personalize it, it’s no biggie! 🙂

    Post # 7
    376 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I agree. Most people don’t even know the rules for receiving a thank you note. Perhaps they’ll just assume that you haven’t spent the money yet (if they even notice it’s missing). 

    I think that getting the thank yous out in a timely manner is more important to people than knowing exactly where their money went. 

    Post # 8
    529 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t even know why this is a rule – I have never given cash for a wedding and expected an itemized list of what it was used to purchase. Your personal, timely note is what matters.

    Post # 10
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’ve never even HEARD of that!! I’d actually think it was weird if i got a thank you note from someone saying what they’re using the money for – it’s none of my business. 🙂

    Post # 11
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I don’t think people really want to hear what you will spend it on anyway.  (“We’ll use this to buy the serving platter on our registry that you weren’t considerate enough to purchase for us with this money anyway.” or “We’re going to use the money to buy toilet paper.  We’re out.”)

    I think most people appreciate a hand written letter more than enough.  🙂

    Post # 12
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I agree with Mighty Sapphire, I actually think it’s crass to talk about what you will use the $ for. As long as you thank them I think you’re fine.

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