Post # 1
I don’t know if I’m the only one who feels this way, but… does anyone else think cardboxes/wishing wells are… well, kind of rude?
Don’t get me wrong, have one if you want, and I’ve seen so many pretty ones that people have put so much effort into to make themselves. It’s totally up to you if you choose to have one and my post is completely non-judgemental of others’ choices. I was just wondering if anyone else had the same thought pop into their head.
I just think it’s a little strange to be putting a “collection tin” of sorts on display at one’s wedding, like you’re expecting that people bring something to put in it. I mean… we throw all sorts of parties that involve gift giving, like birthday parties, for example, but we don’t set up a box to collect all the presents/cards in.
Why do it for weddings?
Which brings me to my next question… Would it be weird if we didn’t have one at our wedding? All we want is for everyone to come and celebrate with us if they are able, but if someone does bring something do you think it’s ok to tell them to “leave it with the mother of the bride” or some other designated person? It’s just that having a cardbox and seeing it in the corner would just make us feel so… uncomfortable! I mean, everyone would have already forked out money just to travel out here for our wedding in the first place; we don’t need any more than that.
This could just be me, though. Feel free to tell me if I’m being a weirdo and that guests generally don’t see cardboxes/wishing wells at weddings as being “gift-grabby” 😛
Post # 3
@ksus07: I personally would rather have a box to collect cards than to inconvenience one of my guests. I think as long as that guests agrees to it, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Post # 4
It would be tough to have someone in charge of collecting cards. Typically when I go to a wedding, the first thing I do is look for where the cards go. How about just a simple basket instead of something elaborate that stands out? You’ll be surprised with the amount of money that ends up in some of those envelopes so you will want them all in one place! I feel ya though – the entire gift process makes me uncomfortable!
Post # 5
I guess I don’t think card boxes are rude because a card doesn’t necessarily have to have any type of gift in it. It can just be a card and they need to be collected some where. I know on my wedding day I didn’t want to have to worry about holding cards all night and misplacing one. A couple of people missed the box and just came and gave us the cards personally. Honestly it was kind of inconvenient because I was afraid to set them down and forget them some place. It was much easier for them to just be put in a box. I wouldn’t want to put that responsibility on one of our guests either because then its a hassle for them to keep track of all of them. Then what if one goes missing? No that is too much to ask of someone that is supposed to be enjoying the party.
We had 4-5 cards without money or checks in them, only well wishes from the guest. Personally I would never attend a wedding without at least a card just expressing my happiness for them so I guess I don’t understand why it would be presumed as being rude to have a place to put that card. I guess I just don’t take it as someone asking for donations.
Post # 6
I have been to one wedding without a card box and cards were left all over the place and with a bunch of different people. I don’t see card boxes as rude at all. I think they make it easier for the guests. I also think it will make it easier for you because people will try to hand you the card and you will have to track down cards at the end of the night.
Post # 7
@ksus07: I don’t know what a wishing well is but as for the cardbox I felt the same way, like people would perceive that as me assuming they would be bringing cards. My mom and FMIL explained that the carfs don’t have to have money in them, and most people will bring a card with well wishes written inside. They said the box is so none of them get lost and those with cash are safer and less likely to get stolen. I suppose I see their point since I have some really traditional relatives who would probably at least bring a card with a nice thought in it. They said as a guest it would be annoying to throw their cards in a pile and have to worry of they’d make it to the B&G
Post # 8
@ksus07: i think its more rude to walk around with that little silk bag and great and collect it, i would opt for the card box…if not people will hand it to you or throw it on a table (not very secure so some evil party gower may take them)
Post # 9
@ksus07: We had a card box. I dont necessarily see it as a ‘hey give us money’ I see it more as a way to received congrats cards.
Post # 10
@ksus07: From what I understand, a wishing well is specifically for guests to provide monetary gifts. This is different from a card box, which is just a place for guests to put their cards. Cards don’t necessarily have money in them, but most people tend to bring a card with a message for the bride and groom. I think a card box is a convenience for your guests. Setting it up near the guest book or entrance makes it easy for guests to know where to put their cards, rather than having to run around to track down the person that is collecting cards. I know as a guest I want to drop of my card asap and then move on to the next thing. I don’t think people see card boxes as gift grabby in any way.
Post # 11
@housebee: Yeah, that’s a fair point. I don’t want to make anything a hassle for them either.
@happyheidi1984: Glad to know I’m not the only one who feels weird! But yes, having a simple basket seems like a good idea.
@adoc86: You’re right about cards not necessarily having money in them; that’s also a real possibility and I was going to add that in my original post but figured it was getting too long. And I forgive you for not knowing my mother; she is one of those women who is prepared to handle anything – you could be out at the beach and accidentally cut your foot on something sharp and she will immediately whip some cotton balls, Betadine and a band-aid right out of her handbag. And then give you a lollipop as well, just to cheer you up and because yes, she keeps lollies in her handbag 😛 So basically, she is the most organised person I know so if I had to nominate a person to take care of this, it would be her. But I see your point as well; I guess I wouldn’t want her being chased by envelope-wielding wedding guests while she tries to have a good time.
Post # 12
@pineapplez17: Ohhh I had no idea they were two different things. Really? I thought they were exactly the same thing but just named differently depending on where you live. Cool. And I’m all for conveniencing my guests.
Post # 13
We just had people toss cards on the gift table, but we also only had 42 people at our wedding and were the only people in our reception space (so it’s not like anyone could have taken them)
Post # 14
As a guest, card boxes are more conveinient. I don’t want to have to worry about chasing the bride down to find out where she wants her cards. It would cause me a lot of stress. If I am going to attend your event, I am going to bring a card, whether or not I can afford a gift and it’s less stressful to not have to find out who is going to make sure the couple gets my card. I can walk in, stick it in the box, and go about my way confident the couple will receive my well wishes.
Post # 15
I always thought the card box was more for practicality than anything. Tons of people give cash at weddings, and it’s nice to have a way to organize that. And for those who may not be able to bring a gift or cash, the box ensures that their card is still accounted for. It’s okay not to have a box, though. I went to one wedding where the groom just kept the cards in his jacket as people gave them to him, but it was a relatively small wedding so there weren’t a ton of cards to deal with.
Post # 16
@ksus07: haha oh you have one of those moms 😉
I just feel like it would be a pain having to bring that to the bathroom with you, carry them with you when you get your food (if you’re having a buffet) or everytime you go to the bar, dance with them, etc. A lot of guests gave us cash instead of checks so I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving cards sitting on a table while I run to the bathroom or go get cake. I’d have to take them everywhere.