my thoughts on e-ring disappointment

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 5
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@soy:  100% Agree! especially the ring not to be worshipped So true. I feel bad for some of these girls who get ripped to shreds over their feelings. Glad you posted! 

Post # 6
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh please, I am totally upgrading my 2.5 to a 4 carat!  I have to wear it for the REST OF MY LIFE!!!

Post # 7
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@deetroitwhat:  Ha! I’ll take your old one when you do:)

Post # 9
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@deetroitwhat:  I love when u post! U r Hilarious!!

Post # 10
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Birdi:  Aww gee, thanks ๐Ÿ™‚ Just my sense of humor, not everyone gets it.  I get some hate mail now and then actually.  Sometimes we just need to lighten up around here it seems like…

Seriously though, not every situation is black and white.  My husband actually proposed to me with a heart shaped diamond.  Uh.  If you cannot tell by my personality — I don’t do hearts.  I was seriously like… WTF.  I own more Converse than you do, and you’re coming at me with a diamond heart?  Hell no.

He was happy to exchange it.  Some guys just don’t know what they’re doing… haha.

Post # 11
Member
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

after being a waitingbee, I’m wondering if this is something you can’t really understand unless you’ve been there. I didn’t feel a letdown with me ring-I got my dream ring! So I’m blessed ๐Ÿ˜›

What I do remember was the feeling of being “less then” becasue my then-bf (now FI) didn’t just pop the question like many other ladies got. His hesetation hurt. Why wasn’t he as ready as I was? Was there something wrong with me? I had no idea he was spending that whole time looking for my dream ring-I honestly thought he was just stringing me along. It sucked.

The only thing that made it worse was other bees who had no idea what that feeling felt like coming along and being judgy-judgerson about the whole thing. I felt bad enough as it was.

My point? I have no idea what it would feel like to recieve my engagment ring and hate it. I’d most likey be crushed. And I think that every nasty thing that people could think to say I’d probably have already told myself and feel like crap for still feeling the way I did.

tl;dr Be kind. Don’t judge. Judgey people suck.

 

Post # 12
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is why we ring shopped together. I understand disliking your ring, especially when it’s not something you’d normally wear, or nothing like what you showed him/her, etc. But what I don’t get is when a guy/girl spends the time and money to pick out something beautiful that he/she can afford, and then the poster starts bitching that it’s not big enough

Post # 13
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@deetroitwhat:  Haha!  I feel you some people are uptight around here. Awe, a heart shaped diamond is hard to come by! Glad you got what you wanted:)

 My Fiance is the one with the taste…he did some digging as to the style I liked and ultimately chose all by himself. When he got down on one knee and I saw the ringbox…I was worried it was going to be over the top (totally his style) but I loved my ring and If I didn’t, I would have no problem saying so.  This girl is a lot of things but shy isn’t one of em! 

Post # 14
Member
6339 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

I adore my ring: it is exactly the style I wanted, an antique-style diamond cluster ring. It wasn’t expensive, it doesn’t have a huge centre stone; I’ve just always loved that style.

BUT, I am in the process of getting quotes for an ‘upgrade’. I don’t want to change the style, or upgrade to a big centre stone; I want the size and style to remain exactly the same, because I adore it. However, we rushed into it; he decided on New Year’s Eve 2010 that he wanted to propose, and had boiught the ring (that I’d pointed out) and proposed within a month, without us properly researching important things like the specs. As a consequence, it is 9ct white gold; which is fine, except that I have to take it off for showering and swimming (I swim 4 times a week) because otherwise it discolours quickly, it gets knocked a lot at work and it already scratched and slightly dented, etc. Basically, had we done our research, we’d have taken a picture of the ring to a jeweller, and had them replicate it in platinum; we’d also have chosen the specs of the diamonds (while sparkly, to me they can look on the grey side, particularly when against other rings, or in natural light, and I’d like brighter ones)

I battled with myself with this for about a year before finally broaching it with my OH just recently. I am NOT materialistic; if I was, I would be wanting a 1ct centre stone with a halo, not a cluster ring totalling .66ct. What I do want is a ring I won’t have to worry about re-dipping every year, or take off for everything I do (because I take my ring off such a lot, it’s bigger than I’d like; if I didn’t have to take it off so much I could go for a snugger fit). My OH was a little upset at first, but I explained my reasoning, and stressed that a) I’m keeping the original intact, and will still wear it and b) the new one will look exactly the same. He’s going to give me the new one on our wedding day along with my wedding band, so it will also have a significance of it’s own (as nothing can replace the sentimental value of my current one, it will always be the one he proposed with)

So I can totally understand people not being happy, and I agree that it’s a conversation you need to have. The ONLY time I think it’s wrong to be unhappy is when expectations are unrealistic ie someone is expecting someone to get into debt to buy them a ring. But if someone’s partner has bought them, say, a gem-stone without knowing they wanted one, I could totally see why that would disappoint someone, likewise if they bought a completely different style or different size to what had been discussed.

Post # 15
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Birdi:  We need cocktail hour or something around here.  Starting at 7 am with mimosas.  I kid ๐Ÿ˜› (kind of.)

Post # 16
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@deetroitwhat:  Exactly! fun juice in the a.m!!

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