(Closed) My "uniqueness" is not being taken well.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think purple hair would look so AWESOME!!!! i really want you to stay true to you. and post tons of pics here afterward! I wanna see! She is going to have to get used to your quirkiness. she will eventually. I used to annoy my mil by painting my toddler boys toes blue. lol she hated it!!!

Post # 78
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@DJones69:  The parallels you are drawing here are ridiculous. By the way, the proper spelling is ‘barista.’ You must have purple hair… 

Post # 79
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

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@JLR1982:  Of all the things that were said, the only thing you could point out is the spelling of the word barista. Yes, you’re young as well.

And no, I’m retired. An opportunity a profession where they didn’t allow purple hair afforded me.

 

Post # 80
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

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@Miss Moxy:  If what they’re saying is upsetting you, then he should intervene to stop them.  It doesn’t matter if he agrees that they’re “attacking you”, being rude, etc.  What matters is that they’re hurting your feelings.  THAT’S what he should be defending.

Post # 82
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

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@Miss Moxy:  I don’t watch those shows on TV – and no, I have never seen a nurse with blue, red and orange hair.

Post # 83
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@Miss Moxy:  It’s an ignorant, outdated way of thinking. Please adorn yourself how YOU feel beautiful on your wedding day (and every day) – not anyone else!

Post # 85
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I guess I am thinking that if you don’t already have purple hair, and it’s not already a essential part of your identity or anything, I don’t see why it is worth creating any drama with in-laws over. I could see if you had a tattoo and they asked you to cover it up and you stuck your ground and said no because it is meaningful and a part of you, but dying hair an unusual color specifically for that day – which it curerntly isn’t – to make a statement despite knowingly making very important people (your future husbands parents) unhappy or uncomfortable doesn’t seem like a battle I would personally choose.

 

Post # 86
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

What’s truly unique about you can’t be taken away by not having unnaturally-colored hair or a Tim Burton theme at your wedding.

There’s nothing wrong with unnaturally-colored hair or a Tim Burton aesthetic, but it’s also ok for these things not to pervade every single thing you do in life, and weddings are meant to be formal and familial occassions, to represent the seriousness of the commitment and the community’s acknowledgement that this partnership is finalized (these two people should now be treated as one family).

If I were you, I would not make waves over superficial displays of “uniqueness” at your wedding. And this is from someone who thinks that, in general, living life as a “normal person who fits in” is a total waste of time. I wouldn’t ever tell you not to have purple hair on a random Wednesday, not even when you’re in your 70s. But on your wedding, when your family members seek the formality that conveys the seriousness that the oath should have? Yep, I suggest that that is simply not the moment for it. Wear the color of hair you were born with, is my suggestion.

Post # 87
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

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@JLR1982:  …unless the wedding is not just about YOU, in which case, you may want to weigh your preferences along with everyone else’s who matters, because by ignoring the preferences of others who matter (groom, Future Mother-In-Law, your dad, etc.) you are sending a crystal clear message about how important they are to you.

Dress for yourself most moments of your life. Dress for the office when you go to the office. Dress for the whole family – the people YOU consider family (and therefore most importantly, your PARTNER) on the wedding.

Post # 88
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

FLIP IT!

I am all for doing anything funky. I’m wearing pink shoes and a pink peticoat and my mother is about to faint (not as bad as$ as your purple hair…but if i didnt work in an office i would totaly have pink streaks in my hair).

Just MAKE SURE that when you look back at your wedding pictures you will be HAPPY.

Nothing worse than looking at those crazy 80’s brides and wondering “What on EARTH were they thinking!”

I love the purple hair. If that’s what makes you happy then rock it! You’re a mature adult who is capable of making their own decisions.

Post # 89
Member
2080 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Miss Moxy:  It sounds like they care a lot about what they think other people’s perception of them is. I don’t think you should change your hair. It doesn’t sound like the purple hair by itself is inappropriate or anything anyone needs to be embarrassed about. If the future in-laws are paying for part of the wedding/getting a discount for you guys and your Future Father-In-Law works there, then I would be considerate about other choices such as, avoiding uncensored music, or allowing guests to get too rowdy. Other than that, your choice in hairstyle/color should have no bearing over your FFIL’s job.

Regarding the black and white invitations, or incorporating black into your wedding, that should also have no bearing over your FFIL’s job. A lot of people incorporate the color black into their wedding these days.

I will say that my in-law’s did pay for part of our wedding. They are Vietnamese and wanted to incorporate Vietnamese onto our invitation and upgrade our buffet. I had no problem with that, as I felt like this was more of an issue of making them a part of wedding, as opposed to, letting them choose things like my colors.

Regarding you and Fiance living together prior to marriage and you working at a religious institution, I think this is something you should just avoid talking about at work. It’s not nothing to be ashamed of but it might be something that could hinder your job growth. As far as your Future Mother-In-Law working there, she shouldn’t discuss your living arrangements either, for her sake and for yours.

 

 

Post # 90
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@Miss Moxy:  No hate over here. Also, I don’t think the whole purple hair “quirky” thing is unique, crazy indicates individuality, as there’s a million people doing it. It’s pretty mainstream, actually. I doubt that many people would be as shocked as your Future Mother-In-Law seems to think.

Do your thing. Don’t worry about what they think. That’s clearly what you want to do, right?

View original reply
@JLR1982:  I don’t have conflict with my in-laws. I think it’s disrespectful. My Future Mother-In-Law treats me like her own daughter, so I listen when she has advice for me, just as I listen to my mom. Like I said, clearly the OP and I don’t have the same sort of relationship with in laws. So what?

Post # 91
Member
513 posts
Busy bee

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@Miss Moxy:  OP,  don’t listen to these judgmental, old posters.  They sound close minded and self righteous as all hell.  Do you and rock that purp

le hair.  Post pictures! 🙂

The topic ‘My "uniqueness" is not being taken well.’ is closed to new replies.

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