- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Ok… I’m going to vent a bit for stress-relief but try to keep it solution-oriented (bwaa haa haa… yeh right.)
Since the issue deals with my older sister (I am 50, she is 52), you can correctly assume that there are YEARS of sisterly issues underlaying anything I write here. BUT…
For the majority of significant events in our lives, I have been there for my sister, but she has been too busy for me. After our Dad’s stroke, I took 3 months unpaid leave to help our Mother look after him… she was busy going on vacation and leaving her children with Mother. She was too busy to visit me in the hospital or at home during my year battling breast cancer (mastectomy/chemo/radiation), but I was there with her at the majority of her doctor’s appointments/surgery. Even for events of lesser significance, she will only be there if she’s getting something materialistic out of being there…
My fiance and I had set a date. I told our Mother that I didn’t expect my sister would make the time to attend… which is the case… she already had plans that she didn’t intend to break. For an unrelated reason, we are rescheduling the wedding.
Our wedding will be small. As I’ve stated, I am 50 years old. It would suit me fine if it were only me, my fiance, my Mother and his Mother.
My sister’s behavior of the last 10+ years is the reason that I don’t want her attention-seeking and disrupting my wedding. Even if we invite some other family members, I don’t intend to extend another invitation to her (not that I believe she would attend… we don’t intend to serve any alcohol.)
I know I’m dealing with the disease of alcoholism. And because it is my older sister, it is a very emotional time. Sometimes I feel I may be wrongly intending to exclude her. But then it wouldn’t make much difference in our relationship (and might even worsen it if she did decide to attend.)
I will accept that I will come across as the “bad” sister here. There are consequences to all of our actions. Some consequences we like, some we don’t, some have mixed results… I may not be right, but don’t think I’m entirely wrong.
…and I’m much more pissed off than I sound here.