Post # 1
So let me start by saying my fiance and I have already booked the venue below (watch the slideshow it links to to see the pretty venue pictures), and the deposit was a gift from my future in-laws;
I fell in love with this venue, one of only three we’d seen (especially the chapel), and my fiance and I decided to book it. My future in-laws generously covered the deposit because it’s a HUGELY popular venue in our city that books up so fast it’s crazy, and they wanted us to have the day we’d decided on.
I have had any venue doubt until today when a local bridal fair facebook page (DAMN YOU FACEBOOK!) posted a status asking Calgarian brides where they thought the lesser known gems in our city were for comprehensive wedding venues. I took a look at them all and wasn’t impressed- except for this;
Not only is it incredibly beautiful, but it’s siginificantly cheaper (read: potentially several thousand dollars cheaper). But now I feel like a jerk for even liking this venue- my future in-laws were so good about putting forth money they didn’t have to so we’d have what we wanted and now I’m waffling.
I’ve heard of dress regret, but God, venue waffling? What should I do Bees? Just suck it up and forget about the other venue? Show FI? If he likes it what do I do about my future in-laws?
Post # 3
Is the money you’d save by going with the cheaper venue more than what your inlaws would lose on the deposit? Maybe doing a little math will make the decision easier (and will give you some ammunition if you decide to approach your Fiance and FILs).
Post # 4
Yes, the savings would definitely be greater than the $1,500 they paid for the deposit. But I almost feel like if we went with the other venue I’d want to give them back the $1,500 because no one has unlimited resources to just be handing out money. Ugh, I feel terrible.
Post # 5
Hmm. That’s kinda tough, but I don’t feel like you should sacrifice the venue you really want, especially if it’s cheaper. Their feelings may be hurt if you try to return the money. Could you just talk to them and say something like, “We SO appreciate your generous gift for the venue deposit! Ultimately, after looking at the budget more closely, we decided to go with ## location, instead. We wish we would have realized this sooner, but hope you understand. Is it okay if we put that money toward _____ instead?”
Pick something else that’s close to $1,500. The DJ? Flowers? Even though their money isn’t TECHNICALLY going towards that, I think they’ll appreciate the symbolism instead of thinking their money went toward nothing or just having it returned. It’s just a different way of thinking of it.
Post # 6
is the deposit refundable? or partially refundable? perhaps I am just blind and skipped over the part where it said that. With your date being so far away, they should easily be able to book it if it is hugely popular in your area.
I am sure if you spoke to your In Laws they would certainly understand, especially if the deposit is refundable, then you can put it towards the new venue.
just a thought… you wont know unless you ask?
Post # 7
PS just looked at the photos, and I can see why you are having regret… good luck and I hope you get it worked out. Let us know what happens and how it turns out.
Post # 8
Sorry about the lack of a response, I was away for the long weekend! Unfortunately the venue we chose is a totally non-refundable deposit that was put down in December as our date was already in jeopardy then >_<.
I’ve decided to just live and let live and stick with our original venue. We loved it for a reason, and saving a few thousand dollars (while helpful and smarter in long run) probably won’t make us as happy. It also helped that Venue #2 could only hold about half of the number of guests we’re having at the wedding for a seated dinner.
Thanks for your input! It was hugely helpful!