- 7 years ago
Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty darn conservative too (not just politically, but in regards to my lifestyle). But my dad’s parents are probably the most conservative people I’ve ever met. In fact, my grandmother was raised Baptist in Texas, and they were married in 1955. So, as you might imagine, some of their beliefs include: dancing is bad, alcohol is bad, and a boy and girl sitting too close to each other is bad.
My FH and I just moved to the Bay Area for career opportunities and proximity to family. I am staying with my aunt and uncle and he is staying with my grandparents until we find good jobs here and get on our feet. Of course, I come over pretty often to see him and my family. A couple weeks ago, my FH and I were sitting on the same couch while we, my father, and my grandparents were watching a movie. We had a blanket over our laps (the house is kept cold), but our hands were showing.
My grandfather then told my father to tell my FH and me that he doesn’t want us sitting too close to each other and doesn’t want a blanket over us. My FH and I are not having sex, and I think my grandfather knows we wouldn’t. Why can’t he just speak to us directly? Does he think I’m going to throw a tantrum, storm off, and never come back? I’ve heard a lot about my family members never talking to me about anything important because they “don’t want to ruin their relationships with me,” but I can’t understand why. I think I’m pretty chill and good at listening and understanding, and I don’t just flip out every time I hear something I don’t like.
Tonight, while I was there, my FH went and asked my grandfather if it would be all right for us to sit next to each other on the couch or on his bed if we are under different blankets. My grandfather is rarely this direct with his words, but I heard him say, “No, I think it would be better to do something other than that. I think it shows a lack of respect for Natalie and a lack of respect for my home.” So my FH is the only one being disrespectful because he’s the guy? I know my grandfather is trying to care about us, and I want to respect his beliefs and rules (especially since he’s giving my FH a free place to live), but it’s hard when our only remaining options are to freeze or sit on different pieces of furniture. /: