(Closed) My vision or the MOH’s happiness…can’t it be both?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

No photos!  But just on principle, I would say that your Maid/Matron of Honor needs to be grateful that you’ve taken her opinion this much into account and once you two have talked about it enough, your say is the final say and she should gracefully accept whatever you decide.  That being said, I changed the color of my MOH’s dress because she didn’t like my original plan.  So what the heck do I know?

Post # 4
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The pictures didn’t show up. Having been in a few weddings I know it’s hard to love a dress that was chosen without consideration for what I look like in it. Having said that, I have always just put it on and smiled because no one was really looking at me. They were oooo-ing and aaaah-ing at the bride. Not that you want no one to be looking at them. 🙂

Any way to have the BMs in the dress you love and the Maid/Matron of Honor in a dress she likes? Same colors, just different style? Just a thought.

Good Luck!

Post # 5
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No pics but I will say that some styles on broad shouldered people DO make the shoulders look even bigger. I would need to see the pics to really give an opinion though.

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I can’t see the photos.

I have one bridesmaid who is very uncomfortable wearing strapless dresses, so I understand your dilemna. Um, most bridesmaid dresses are strapless!!! I ended up going with a tank-style bridesmaid dress. Really, the fact that she hated strapless SO MUCH made me not even want to look at strapless Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. The idea of forcing her into something she was so uncomfortable wearing (we’re not talking color here, we’re talking a style she NEVER wears. It’s akin to putting her in a  very low cut dress also–some ppl are NOT ok with it) that I couldn’t make her do it without feeling mean and disrespectful.

I hope you can get the photos up, i want to see what your definition of classy is and if there’s a way to make this halter work. She knows her body, ya know?

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ok i see the photos. They all look the same to me. Which one specifically is the one you like?

Do i have it right? halter versus no halter? Cuz they really look the same to me and I don’t see why she’d be more uncomofrtable in one versus the other since they are the same style-ish. I was thinking you were talking about, say, a strapless dress versus a halter.

[attachment=719937,93116] [attachment=719937,93117]

Post # 8
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

they’re both really cute dresses. if your Maid/Matron of Honor is really that UNCOMFORTABLE, i say the BM’s get YOUR pick and she can wear hers… that way she’s comfortable and feels special… i’ve seen lots of weddings where the MOH’s dress is diff than the rest! TOTALLY cute

Post # 10
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think the halter would be more flattering on a person with broad shoulders. I have broad shoulders and I tend to steer away from dresses that have the straps toward the outer part of my shoulders b/c it makes my shoulders look wider. I tend to go for strapless, halter, or spaghetti strap.

Is it possible your Maid/Matron of Honor can have a different dress? I son’t think it will detract from your overall vision. If your Maid/Matron of Honor is uncomfortable, she won’t be focused on you.

Post # 11
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i was in a wedding recently with my boobs pretty much hanging out… because that’s the dress the bride wanted. would i have been more comfortable in another dress? yes. but it wasn’t about me. it was about her. and that’s how it should be.

Post # 12
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I understand your concern since the halter doesn’t look as great next to the boat neck with the flower at the waist (image on the right), though it still looks good. But it does look very similar to the v-neck and both the v-neck and the halter look lovely next to the boat neck with the flower at the shoulder (image on the left).

Honestly, since the halter is still quite classy and isn’t low-cut or super revealing, I would really lean towards letting your Maid/Matron of Honor wear the halter. It doesn’t look that much different from the v-neck so I think your overall vision will remain pretty close, but it will be much more flattering since, as JamaicaBride noted, the v-neck hits the widest point of the shoulders and will maker her shoulders look even broader and her chest smaller.

I know that most bridesmaids wear whatever we pick with a smile, but I think here it would be a really nice gesture to make sure she’s comfortable and looks her best.

Post # 13
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I chose long dresses because one of my BMs is super self-consious of her “cankles”.  For personal reasons, she has since dropped out and now I’m stuck with dresses I “don’t mind”.  I’m considering having the girls all hem them to tea-length, but I’m really disappointed that I let someone else completely dictate the dresses.

I think if your Maid/Matron of Honor would drop out rather than wear the dress you like then reconsider and try to find something you both can agree on; at the same time, unless you let them each chose their own dress, you’re never going to please everyone.

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