(Closed) MY waiting rant. :/

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Is he on commission?  That makes it a bit harder for him to budget because he could make a lot one month and not much the next.  But you still have the same bills every month so you need to have a cushion in case business isn’t as good as you think it will be.  Maybe once he gets into the job and sees how the money situation will go, he might feel better about getting the ring.  Also, does he have to buy both the rings at the same time?  Wouldn’t that some some money?

Post # 4
Member
1033 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think the problems start when we start trying to spend our significant others money. Yes he has the money to buy the ring you picked out but I can tell you from experience that a man will not buy the ring till he is good and ready. All I can say is good luck and hang in there he will get there.

Post # 7
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

From my experience with insurance companies…is that you can’t always count on that commission check.  I’ve worked in the insurance fields.  You can have a really good month and then tank for the next 3.  Plus there is a lot of turn over in insurance sales when it comes to commercial companies like Aflec.

Suggest a time-plan to him and see if you guys can work a budget with each of his paycheck.  But remember this is HIS money, so you can’t make him budget it the way you want too.  

Post # 8
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My Fiance is an accountant and let me tell you, it took A LOT for him to part with so much of his hard earned savings on an engagement ring AND still feel like he was financially able to support both of us. He needed to feel like he could support us financially in order to be comfortable proposing. Perhaps this is the case with your Boyfriend or Best Friend as well? He also wanted us to be able to get married within a year or so after engagement and knew we’d need to save for a wedding. Weddings are ridiculously expensive. Maybe your Boyfriend or Best Friend is feeling like he needs to have more saved up before he proposes. My feeling is it’s less about how much the ring costs and more about what the ring signifies and whether or not he feels financially stable enough to get engaged right now.

I was ready to be engaged before my Fiance was but once he felt ready he had the ring, asked my parents permission and proposed within a few days. Point being, when men are ready they’re ready and there’s not a whole lot we can do about it. It was frustrating for me to wait but SO worth it and he always tells me that the money he paid for the engagement ring was the best money he ever spent.

Post # 10
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Honestly, it sounds like he’s not ready to get married.  How old are the two of you?  How long have you been together?  His excuses do not make logical sense, which leads me to believe there’s something else going on besides money.  

I’ll never understand the whole “I need to have X amount of money in the bank before I propose” mentality.  You’re proposing, you’re not going to the courthouse tomorrow to get married and putting a down payment on a house the next week.  To me, a ring and a proposal is a promise to marry.  You need to have all your ducks in a row before you MARRY, not before you make the promise to do so. I know some men tend to differ in thinking, which I guess explains the frustration so many of us Bees (including me) feel!  

Post # 11
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

maybe you could ask him if you should start planning, tell him that most venues, photog’s, caterers and some officiant book AT LEAST 12 months out… mine knew when i wanted to get married too, and proposed two months before.. i didn’t get to get married on the date i had always wanted because he waited too long.. but everything turned out and the date isn’t such a big deal now.. and honestly maybe you could plan it in just a few months, i have seen a ton of weddings that were spectacular planned in just 2-4 months(and trust me planning a wedding for a whole year SUCKS!!) hope everthing turns out for ya!

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