(Closed) My wedding and my cousin's graduation…same day!

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
7546 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Push the time back a couple hours. Unless the venue has another event booked that night, they should be willing to work with you, and it’s unlikely that a caterer or a dj has another gig, given the current 4:30 start time.  That is a very tight turn-around time for your guests. They will need more time if you expect them to attend both events.

ps it is your cousin’s “big day” just like it’s yours, so be mindful of that fact, plus, you have some control over your event. Your cousin does not.

Post # 3
Member
4386 posts
Honey bee

Highschool or college? 

Post # 4
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

Is it even possible to push things back? What exactly are they asking to be pushed back? And how far is the graduation site from your wedding venue?

Post # 5
Member
4386 posts
Honey bee

Oh, and are you getting married in a church? That will make a big difference. 

Post # 6
Member
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

This sounds so familiar, wasn’t there a post about a sister having a graduation the same day? 

How far away is it and how many people would over lap? 

Post # 8
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

Honestly if it was me and it was possible for me to move everything an hour or even delay it for half an hour, then I would do it. I get the sense that most weddings suffer some kind of delay here and there. But if it’s not possible, then I would reassure my five relatives that they should attend my cousin’s graduation and arrive late to my wedding. That way both of us could have our family’s attention. 

(Edit: You never know. They might just make it even without you moving anything, but it would be kind of rushed for them.)

But that’s just me. I had to arrive late for my friend’s wedding because my grandma’s 100th birthday celebration was on the exact day and ran on the exact same timeline. So I attended the first half of my grandma’s dinner and then drove to my friend’s reception in time for the second course. Sure my friend only gets married once, but my grandma turns 100 only once. (And some people don’t even make it to 100.) It was the best I could do and everyone seemed alright with it in the end. 

Post # 9
Member
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

How big is the school and how long will it be? There might be enough time but it is very close. 

I am a bit jaded but I did not find high school graduation important at the time, I do realize others are different. It would be ideal if you could delay an hour as pushing the graduation forward is not possible. If you can’t then there really isn’t much you can do. The 5 people should be able to see her walk across a stage and you down the aisle.

Post # 10
Member
4386 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
ksklemenz96:  How did your aunt not clue into this a long time ago?

If it doesn’t cost you money or shorten your wedding reception, then I would push it back. Depending on where you live, the light is probably better for photographs later anyway.

That being said, did you invites go out already?

Post # 11
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I remember high school graduations as being very long- I think this could be quite tight for them. If you coul move things even by half an hour, without messing up everything, I would.

In either case, though, I would reassure them all that you know this day is important to your cousin, too and you want them to enjoy the graduation. Reassure them that they can be late if they need to and that everyone will be fine with it. I know it is your wedding day, but high school graduations often feel monumentally important to teens (and their parents!), so I’d try to be sensitive to that, too. (if it were me, I’d make sure to have a small gift and maybe even a cupcake decorated for graduation for her- I’m guessing she is giving up spending her graduation evening with her freinds to help celebrate your wedding and ma actually feel like people aren’t even noticing what she has accomplished- and, that’s not a criticism to you- weddings will never fall on the perfect day/time for everyone- life just doesnt work that way!).

 

Post # 12
Member
3164 posts
Sugar bee

No I wouldn’t push my wedding back 3 months out. I would understand if people were late because of that and acknowledge her important day however was appropriate for my family 

Post # 13
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

No.  this is not your problem.  Do not change your wedding.

Post # 14
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

Have you just made quick enquiries to find out if it is possible to move your ceremony and reception back a bit? Because if the answer to that is you can’t, then that’s it really. But if you can, you can then ask yourself if you want to and why if you didn’t want to (is it because you wanted the sun setting? It is way more expensive at the later hour? etc) Your family seems to want it, but you have to consider whether it is too big a compromise for you from a rationale perspective.

Post # 15
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly that timeline does sound a little tight for the 5 overlapping folks, but I personally would only move my wedding for my parents, siblings, or grandparents. I don’t think I’d move it for an aunt or cousin. They can still make the reception.

My usual feeling is that changing your wedding plans last minute for other people is setting yourself up for resentment.

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