(Closed) My wedding and my cousin's graduation…same day!

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 31
1182 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

it’s a high school graduation; no offense but it’s not as though she graduates with a PhD. She finished basic schooling. Keep your wedding time as is. For the 5 people who want to go to the graduation, they can come to the wedding immediately after.

Post # 32
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

You dont “do” anything. Thats plenty of time for people to get to your wedding. If your cousin is complaining then too bad so sad. A wedding trumps a graduation IMO.

Post # 33
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Are they sure that the graduation will 100% happen on that day? My HS graduation got pushed back twice because it was raining. They wanted to have it at the football stadium so that more people could come. If it had to be in the auditorium, each graduate would have only gotten two tickets.

If the graduation is set up like mine was, I wouldn’t move the ceremony. I get that HS graduation is a rite of passage, but no one besides her immediate family should be expected to drop everything for it. Like PPs said, I would just tell the overlapping guests that you will understand if they are late or have to miss the ceremony. 

I didn’t go to my own college or master’s graduation ceremonies, though. 

Post # 34
1304 posts
Bumble bee


Did your Aunt know your wedding date before now? If she did, it’s her issue for not bringing it up sooner.

But honestly, you can’t reaarange your schedule based on everyone else’s lives. Then no date would work. It’s unfortunate that these events are on the same day but moving your entire wedding 3 months out?? Nope.

Post # 35
72 posts
Worker bee

I don’t think it’s fair to your other guests and vendors to push things back. I would leave the wedding as is. But I think you need to consider some specifics. 

How close are you to your cousin? 

Will your grandparents like to attend the graduation?

Will your own parents? 

How good is your bridal party at being on time? Are they always running late? 

Will you have to pay any fees for the push back? 

How does your fiancé, and his family, feel about this? 

Is your cousin graduating with honors? Receiving an award? Making a speech? 

Is this cousin, or any of the 5, a part of the wedding party? 

Honestly it sounds like too much of a headache imo to move the wedding. 

Maybe your aunt can video tape the graduation and show a snippet of it at the end of your reception for those family members who missed it. I would only offer that though if you’re very close to your cousin. 

Post # 36
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

No, I wouldn’t change it because of other people’s requests. It’s almost impossible to pick a date that works for every single person. I am sure they could still make the reception part.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  mrsblueeyes.
Post # 37
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

For crying out loud – the aunt isn’t asking the OP to change the entire day, just push it back an hour so!

My friend did change her entire day because she found out her cousin’s high school graduation was scheduled for the same day as her wedding.  It would have put a lot of pressure on her grandparents to try to make both, and the cousin’s sister was a bridesmaid and she too would have been put in a tough spot.  My friend didn’t think twice about it.

Some people think high school graduation is a big deal.  I personally was more fond of my HS graduation than my college graduation.  So for those of you saying HS graduation is no big deal, please realize that it is for some and shouldn’t be dismissed so quickly.

OP, you can gather from the tone of my post that I would push things back an hour if I could if I was in your shoes.  I am close with my cousins, and I would at least try.

Post # 38
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Nope, I wouldn’t. 

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