(Closed) My wedding costs are mine, not yours (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 17
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@BrandNewBride:  Ha! This.

It’s easy to criticize and make cost judgements when they haven’t done the research themselves. I get this all the time at work “oh this project is going to cost X?” “Yes, and that’s a steal.”

If they ask for other costs, say you can’t remember. It’s not their business. 

Post # 18
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You know, I never thought I had that with mine (wedding spending shaming) until my “best friend” (who I am finding more and more negatively impacts my life) made some comment about how much we’re spending on video etc when her “dream wedding” (to an alcoholic, mind you) cost SO much less.  Whatevs, I say…

Post # 19
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Never talk money with people. Honestly weddings bring out really nasty opinions from others. The only people who know what we are spending are those who have contributed to our wedding financially because they deserve to know how the money is being spent. 

Don’t feel guilty! Everyone is in a differnet place financially. A lot of people can’t see anything that isn’t there way. 

Post # 20
Member
13901 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Here’s the thing…If you don’t want comments on how much you paid for something, don’t tell people the cost. All you have to do is say, “It cost what it costs!” and move on.  

Their reactions and comments were rude, but you should just not talk money unless you’re prepared to get a response about it. 

Post # 21
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

That differently not a crazy amount to spend on a video of your special day. They probably haven’t started to look at rhe cost of different wedding aspects. I know if I voiced certain aspect of what things would cost I know I would get crazy looks specially from my SO family. To them spending $5 on shampoo or conditioner is a crazy amount so I couldnt imagine what they would say when I tell them that I plan on spending $600 on a dress

Post # 22
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@mariebee14:  I told my dad I won $500 off a photography package at a wedding show, and he said “so the photographer should be free then right?” He didn’t say it in a mean way, but he had a tiny wedding in 1988 so he doesn’t fully understand. I think the problem is people who aren’t actually planning a wedding have no idea of the costs of things. Like I didn’t know I’d be paying $2500+ for a photogrpaher… if someone had told me that before I was engaged I would’ve been like, that is nuts. But photography is important to me! And videography is important to you, which is totally ok. I have no idea whatever happened to having manners, I’d never say something like that to a person who is planning their wedding. It’s just common sense.

Post # 23
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I guess people can’t help it. They just say what they think without thinking of their audience.

I recently mentioned to my aunt that I was thinking about doing a handfasting at my wedding (teeny tiny possibility that I called it a handbinding) and she said, “Oh, well that just makes me think of slavery.”  Sigh. So there’s that, ruined. I don’t know why she felt it was ok to completely disparage something I was considering doing as a commitment ritual to the man I love…. sigh again.

And people insist on asking the cost of things! It’s so awkward!! Not responding seems so rude!, so I usually just answer, but it’s so irritating.

 

Post # 24
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mariebee14:  It’s annoying but just because they asked the question doesn’t mean you have to answer. It’s best not to talk finances with anyone except the people shelling out the money.  Next time just say you’re not comfortable discussing finances with others.

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