- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Our wedding day was beautiful. I was pretty laid back through planning in a short time (as we’re both procrastinators), and everyone said it was the best wedding they’d ever been to. We got married at a beautiful Country Club in Northern California and we had a fantastic Jazz Band. It was classy and simple, no bridal parties. Our pictures were beautiful and the whole event went smoothly.
About a week before the wedding, my “sister” (she’s my best friend and I’ve always called her my sister) made up with her boyfriend, who she’d been broken up with for a couple of months due to his being violent and self-destructive. She texted me a week before and said that they made up and if she could bring him…my response was as long as he doesn’t destroy the venue.
Everyone was having a happy time at the wedding, and my sister was drunk but her bf seemed fine. When my husband and I were leaving the venue, we had to take a back road because there was an accident and police wouldn’t let us through. The next morning as we were getting ready to go to brunch while I wondered why my sister hadn’t called me back yet…we got the call from the police. The police were asking about alcohol etc….before finally telling us that my sister and her bf were the ones in the accident (less than a half mile from the venue). He was dead when they arrived and she was barely alive. All the police knew is that she had multiple surgeries and was alive. We rushed out of our hotel and went straight for the ICU. I was able to get in to see her, she was sedated. I got a hold of her family who had to come up from southern california and I gave them as much info on her condition as I could. My husband and I 86-ed our honey moon plans (good thing we are procrastinators because we hadn’t bought it yet though we were planning on leaving the next day). Our first week of marriage was spent at the ICU with her family and younger sister. I went back to work immediately to save vacation time in hopes we could take a trip.
She barely made it….she’s lucky to be alive and her recovery will be over a year.
Now that I’m relieved that she’s alright, I am so angry by the fact that on our anniversary every year – this is what Iwill remember.
My wedding day was the most bittersweet (forget “bitter” part…lets just call it bad) day of my life and I don’t want to always have such a negative association with the day we united.
We’ve talked about having a small private ceremony on our honeymoon, but we know it won’t be the same as making those promises for the first time. This just leaves such a bad taste in our mouths and we’ve both been having trouble recovering from it. It was so bad, I suggested a divorce so that we could get married and have a different anniversary.
Any suggestions on how to focus on the “us” part of that day every year? What happened on our wedding day would be tragic on any day, but a tragedy on our wedding day is not the same as a random tragic Wednesday.
I’ve been really depressed about it. As a couple, we had been through a lot just to get to our wedding day and then to have it tainted with this memory, is just horrible.