(Closed) My wedding day – turned tragic. Suggestions needed.

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am so sorry you’re going through this. Who would have thought an accident like this would possibly happen on the happiest day of your life. I wish I had an answer for you as to what to do. The only thing I can do is pray for you and your husband that God will comfort you and give you strength to deal with this. God bless you.

Post # 4
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am so sorry, this is truly tragic.  I don’t know what else to say except I’m so sorry.

 

Post # 5
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think that you should give yourself time to consider how you feel about this.  It is horrible that this happened on your wedding day, but your sister also lived.  It is very difficult for you to have any perspective on this right now, and I don’t think you should expect your persective now to be the same a year from now or five years from now. 

Enjoy married life, and the fact you have each other.  Enjoy the fact you have your sister.  Let some time go by.  If in a year or two you still can’t seperate your wedding from the accident, then you can consider whether to have a new ceremony, etc.  I think things are very raw for you right now.  The advice they often give people who lose a love one is to wait a year before embarking on any new, big projects, because grief and trauma like that can make you do things that you later think are crazy.

I’m sorry you are going through this.  

Post # 6
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

And I certainly hope you know that this is not your fault.

Post # 7
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have no advice to offer.. just sympathy. I am so sorry this happened to you, and your “sister”.

Post # 8
Member
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I just wanted to say I’m so incredibly sorry that this happened to you. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Post # 9
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

This is tough no matter what you do or think because you can only guide yourself so much, but I would forget the bitter or the bad. Think about the greatsweet. Its GREAT she is alive. Its a miracle or a lucky break or whatever you believe in, but she is the lucky on in that accident. 

Maybe BECAUSE it was your wedding day and how important she is to you she is alive.

Remember it as the day you were married and the day your best friend/sister lived.

Post # 10
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wow, I am really sorry to hear that.   It’s going to take a while to process your feelings on the situation and that’s ok.   

Maybe instead of focusing on the negative connotations of the day, you can focus on it being the day you made the commitment to sharing your life with your best friend and it’s also the day your sister was given a second chance at life.  

It’s ok to think about the negatives of a situation soon after it happens but eventually you will need to figure out how to put the negatives behind you and focus on the positive (i.e. you’re married and your sister is still alive and able to share in your married life).    I strongly advise against getting a divorce and remarrying – that won’t solve the underlying issue here as you will STILL always think about the day you first got married and the accident.  You just need to process your emotions as they come and work through them.

Anger is part of the grief process – you’ve moved through the coping just to get by stage and have now moved into anger.  This phase doesn’t last terribly long and you will soon move into the acceptance phase.  If you feel you need help working through it, by all means seek out someone to talk to.  There is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help when dealing with a situation such as this.

Post # 11
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am so sorry that happened. I suggest seeing someone to talk to. Divorse and a new wedding day won’t change anything, what happend will always be there BUT I promise you that that day will get easier as time goes by..There were times that I lossed very dear loved ones (one even at Christmas) and for a few years after that I was sad on that day, miserable even but as time passed that all changed. Now on those days I can find happiness. Maybe in years to come you will look back and have fond memories of him, feel thankfulness that your sister is still here and feel joy that you married your husband that day.  Praying for comfort for you during this hard time..

Post # 13
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Separation comes with time. While the morning after your wedding will always have the memory of that phone call, you will slowly be able to remember your dances, your vows, your cake and ceremony and everything else, without associating it with this horrible accident.  Give it more time, you’re still grieving.  Unfortunately there isn’t really a “how” to the process, other than to wait and forgive and just keep going. 

Post # 14
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Give yourself time.  I’m so sorry to hear of all of this.  My thoughts are with you.  Allow yourself time to go through these emotions.  When your 1 year anniversary comes around, your sister will be done with recovery.  As a pp said, that is the 1 year mark of your sisters miracle anniversary – the miracle that she’s alive.

Post # 15
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think time is really the only thing that will make this better. A new date would only remind you that you had one before, and why you decided to change it. It would do nothing to help you get passed this.

Have you done any counseling after the accident? It might be helpful. Hopefully at some point you will be able to look back and remember all the amazing, happy things that happened that day. You married your husband, celebrated with family, and made vows that are always going to be with you.  

Post # 16
Hostess
23620 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ittybitty27: I am so sorry to hear about all of this. That’s really all I have to say, except that you are allowed let yourself grieve before deciding what to do.

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