(Closed) My Wedding Day Was Not the Best Day of My Life

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2347 posts
Buzzing bee

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ShoeGal89:  I think women are marketed the whole “UR WEDDING IS THE BEST DAY EVERZ IN HISTORY” idea so they spend lots of money on silly things. I got married in July and it was lovely and romantic. I felt completely serene, he cried, everyone was happy and supportive, but the best day of my entire life? I don’t know if I even believe in such a thing! The day Darling Husband and I met, the day we got our first apartment, the day we got our kitty, the day he proposed, that time we made a huge plate of nachos and watched all the LOTR movies in a row, I mean, apples and oranges! 

I think there’s far too much pressure around weddings and frankly if your wedding is the best day of your entire life doesn’t that sort of mean everything else is downhill? My goal was to plan a beautiful wedding that was meaningful, stress free, and on budget. Mission accomplished. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 3
Member
7640 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your wedding sounds wonderful! Since you hated the planning, it just sounds like you’re not a wedding-obsessed person, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Trying to pick a “best day” can be a bit like picking a favourite child. I’ve had many great days. My wedding day was one of them. Whether it can compare to the days my children being born, or some of their milestones, or some of my personal milestones… I don’t even try to compare.

Post # 4
Member
7897 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I love that I married Darling Husband, but the party came with its own set of stresses. I never dreamed it would be the best day ever, but I guess I’m glad we hosted our family and friends. There is more to life than getting married and having a wedding. 

Post # 5
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Holly Hedge Estate

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ShoeGal89:  Towards the end of my wedding planning, my mom and i had decided we somehow needed to tap into the wedding business and make BANK on this silly freakin’ industry that us brides spend way too much money on. I didn’t like planning very much, i loved certain things about my wedding, and it was certainly a phenominal day, however i do think that here in the U.S. a womans wedding day is really a bit overdonen (as far as pressur goes). I was just talking to a co-worker who is from France and this is what she said about the entire wedding thing (not word for word):

-I really had a fun time at your bridal shower, but it’s just so different here in the United States. We don’t do any of this in France. Ive only known about a baby shower, not a bridal shower.

– I had so much fun at your wedding! Oh my gosh Sweetbeets, it’s crazy what you guys do over here in America! We keep it so simple and boring in france.

 

FYI, she’s the sweetest most caring person, and her intentions are very good. But i completely agree with her! It’s like one party after another, for people to buy us brides things and then the big special day is all about “us” and its going to be the best day of our life. Well i call BS! Like i said, it was a beautiful day but i dont agree with all the pressure put on brides and grooms to make it such a big “to-do”.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  SweetBeets.
Post # 6
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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ShoeGal89:  I feel the same way. We were just married this past Saturday, and while it was a great day and I got to marry my best friend, it wasn’t the “best day ever”. Everyone told me I’d be so happy we had the big wedding because I had wanted to go to the court house. Given a chance to do it again, I think Id still want to go to the court house. Don’t get me wrong, I loved spending the day with friends and family and having everyone be there for us, and we had a blast…but I wouldn’t call it the best day ever. It was just a really great day 

Post # 7
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Beach

I don’t agree with the whole “best day of your life” slogan I’d say ONE of the “Most stressful days” next to other big life events. I have not had my wedding day yet but I’ve been a bridesmaid enough times to know that at some point (usually the last month before the wedding) EVERY bride has uttered ” I wish we had eloped ” so I do not think you are alone in your thinking at all. What matters is the best is yet to come.

Post # 8
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

It’s a wedding. It’s a lot of pomp and circumstance, standing up and being nervous, smiling endlessly while everyone takes your photograph. I love that I am married to my Darling Husband. I love the memories of my wedding day. Was it the best day of my life? Nope. No way. It was a great day, but Darling Husband and I have had, and will continue to have, a lot of awesome days together (and part of what makes those other days amazing is because there are no expectations, no fuss, just me and Darling Husband hanging out together and having an unpexpectedly awesome day).

And not knowing when the next best day ever is going to happen, but knowing that I’ll get to experience it with my DH? That’s the best part about being married. 

Post # 9
Member
619 posts
Busy bee

If the wedding is the best day of our lives, why the heck do we continue to live?! 

Wedding was great. But I’ve had equally as enjoyable days doing other things. Darling Husband is amazing and every day we wake up healthy, with a roof over our heads, food on our table, and health of those we love is a pretty dang good day. 

With that said, I think the day we find out we made a life and the day we welcome that life into this world will likely trump our wedding day. So many beautiful, wonderful, best days of our life to look forward to!! ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  Brook10.
Post # 10
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Yes, you are Not alone. We got married in July and while we were waiting during our layover on our honeymoon(two days later), I turned to him and said “wow, am I so glad that whole deal is over.”  DH let out a big sigh and said “omg, I’m glad it want just me that felt that way!” don’t get me wrong, it definitely a treat to see some family that had traveled from afar and who I had not seen in a long time, but if I could do it over again it would be courthouse all the way and take a waaaay longer honeymoon with some of the money we would have saved. halfway through the planning process, I was sooooo stressed out about the money part of things with the realization that it was all going to be over in a day And all this money was going towards temporary stuff (food, decorations, etc). I also don’t think I am alone in saying that now that I have had my own wedding, I really have more fun at other people’s than I did at my own.

Post # 11
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My wedding was not the best day ever, or of my life. It was a beautiful day that I’ll cherish forever, both the court house AND the written ceremony, sure, but there’s more amazing things that have happened to us either on the same level or more meaningful to us- like the birth of our child and such.

Post # 12
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Congratulations! It sounds as if you had a beautiful wedding!

I’m frankly concerned when I hear engaged women describe their upcoming wedding as the most important day in their lives or anything along those lines–it seems many of those brides end up depressed after the wedding is over, even if it lived up to all their expectations.

Weddings can be complicated, stressful events that require months of planning and all too often bring out the worst in people. Best case scenario everyone gets along, all the family members, bridal party, and vendors cooperate and a good time is had by all. It’s still a lot of work to play hostess on that level.

I believe one’s wedding day should be a great day in a lifetime filled with many great and important days! I wish that for you.

Post # 13
Member
5188 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

 

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ShoeGal89:  Was your wedding day the only day you and your gentleman ever exchanged some kind of vows of commitment? Probably not. Maybe the only time in front of a group of people, but that’s not necessarily important. I wouldn’t consider my wedding day the best day of my life either, and I’m sure glad it wasn’t. Hitting peak at 28 would have sucked. There is so much more in life to look forward to.

Post # 14
Member
438 posts
Helper bee

I think the concept of your wedding day being the “best day ever” carries over from a simpler time, when the most important detail of weddings was the legal union of two people (hopefully in love!) and the new life the couple would embark on. Now, with so much hoopla/parties/decorations/RSVP’s/vendors to deal with, there is pressure for this to be “the best day ever” for reasons other than the significance of the union, and that creates a difficult and rather arbitrary goal for most people to meet.

Post # 15
Member
2121 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

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ShoeGal89:  I feel the same! Nothing went wrong and it was such a fantastic day, but not The Best Ever… and that’s fine because I’m sure there are better days to come!! Don’t want to peak too soon ๐Ÿ˜›

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