(Closed) My Wedding Disaster (long long story)

posted 6 years ago in Recaps
  • poll: What would you do if your family/in-laws steal all your wedding gifts and open them for themselves?
    Do nothing and distance yourself from the family. : (18 votes)
    14 %
    Warn them that we will seek police intervention if they dont do the right thing. : (44 votes)
    34 %
    Go to the police right away. : (63 votes)
    49 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    1094 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Oh man, oh man are these people ever toxic! I’m so sorry that your love and marriag has been tarnished by this, but i’m so happy to hear that it has not caused a riff between you guys. You obviously have something special.

    I don’t have any advice but to contact the police, document everything and try and get your gifts back.

    Once that is resolved, change your numbers, emails and cut them out. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    737 posts
    Busy bee

    @Yogurt:  I have always told my children that their job in life is to be role models so their children (my grandchildren) learn how to be good people.  That is what my mother taught me.  She also said that we are the teachers of the next generation.

    You are lucky that Rose didn’t learn from her parents role modelling. Go your own way, forget about what has happened and create your new family.

    By putting up with all this over 9 years, you and Rose have also enabled these people to continue their destructive lives.

    Remember we cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves and distance ourselves from people who are distructive towards us.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2449 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Wow, I just read all of this.

    I am so, so sorry that this happened to you and to her.

    It sounds like you really need to just leave these people out of your lives, and let them know that if they want any kind of interaction with you, it will be on YOUR terms. And any ill behavior will no longer be tolerated.

    These people are so, so toxic. 🙁

    Post # 7
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @MrsVandykins:  I totally agree with this. Get your stuff and then cut them out completely! They are CRAZY! 

    Post # 8
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    So sorry you both went through that. I listened to the clip and she is vile. No parent should treat their family and Future Sister-In-Law like that. You both should move on from this and take it as a lesson learned. They will never change. The very best of luck to you both.

    Post # 9
    Member
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Yeah, these people need to be completely cut off. You can never please them, so never agree to any kind of event or trip or anything else with them.  Your wife will have to decide if she wants to continue going to family events, etc. but she should really consider whether that will be a positive or negative experience for her.  She should probably see a counselor, or even try al anon meetings.  

    My Darling Husband is estranged from his father, and the agreement we came to is that he can’t give his dad money, and if his father comes to our home I will call the cops–period.  It’s been hard for Darling Husband, but he realizes he can’t have a real relationship with his dad because the guy is incapable of it.  Your wife might not be ready for that, but in all honesty it is probably where this all needs to go.

    Good luck.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    8664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Honestly I’d probably contact a lawyer and have them draft up an official letter requesting that they return all of your possessions or the police will be contacted. Then I’d cut them off completely – the sound absolutely awful.

    Post # 11
    Member
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Holy Moly! thats insane i agree with PP get a lawyer and go from there… that is inhumane!

    Post # 12
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Echos of Borderline Personality Disorder here. 

    I’m so, so sorry. You sound like a wonderful spouse who knows what’s important and can get through without these jerks. Rose will need you, and I think you are up for the challenge. Good luck, be strong. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    omg I read the whole thing. Cut them out of your life asap. You and your wife don’t need them. I would look into a lawyer asap to get your wedding gifts. They are ridiculous.

    You’re a good man for standing by your wife all this time. I’m not sure I could have put up with in laws like this!!

    Post # 14
    Member
    879 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Wow, that is crazy. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. Definitely time to go no-contact. I wish you all the best.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Honestly, I think this comes down to you needing to have a very serious conversation with your Wife.

    She needs to never talk to these people again.  I understand they are her family, but they are toxic people whom will eventually ruin your marriage if she continues to speak to them.

    It seems like she keeps going back to them after they absolutely trample all over her.  It’s very very sad – and is considered an abusive relationship.

    I also suggest contacting a lawyer and having him/her draft a letter to your awful in-law’s about getting your personal belongings back.

    Post # 16
    Member
    670 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Why would you let people you know are crazy plan your wedding? You both should have stood up for yourselves, they have been toxic people since you met. I hope you do get the police involved, its the only way you will get everything back. It doesn’t matter if they are family they are a bunch of thieves, if this happened to me I would be filing a police report asap.

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