(Closed) My Wedding Disaster (long long story)

posted 9 years ago in Recaps
  • poll: What would you do if your family/in-laws steal all your wedding gifts and open them for themselves?

    Do nothing and distance yourself from the family.

    Warn them that we will seek police intervention if they dont do the right thing.

    Go to the police right away.

    Other

  • Post # 32
    Member
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Will read this later. Very long. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    260 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1999

    Though I think your story is different, my response (for me!) was ‘other’ depending on who it was. If it was anyone else in the family – distance myself but it was my brother (who steals anythign if it is not tied down) I would both distance myself and report him to the police. Why do people do this to their families? 🙁

    Post # 34
    Member
    1094 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Yogurt:  Wow. I’m so sorry you and going through this. At this point, I think it’s time for you and your wife to cut your losses and cut these people completely out of your lives. They do not deserve to have you in their family. Whether or not you want to file a police report is really up to you, but don’t do it unless you’ve spoken to a lawyer and feel like you have a solid case. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    731 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    And I thought my parents were bad… She needs no not associate with these people again. Id call the cops and just lock them out it isnt worht the stress

    Post # 36
    Member
    1746 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I read this entire entry. 

    I come away with this.

    Your wife has finally seen how toxic her family is. Something you have known all along but couldn’t really say over and over again because they are blood. Your wife is now at the point where that doesn’t even matter. She knows they are pure evil. No one treats family this way. No one is so abusive, so vindictive to people they love. 

    You are now a unit. You are out ot protect one another. So, although you may want to recover this money out of the sheer logic of it-it is yours and was a gift TO YOU, what will it bring you? What will it bring your wife? Will it bring you happiness? Will it heal your wounds? No. It is just money.

    Dirty money that, if you believe as I believe, will only bring you unhappiness if you get your hands on it, because it comes from a bad place. Let those people keep this money. It is from their “friends”. They feel they have earned it, deserve it and are whole with it. Let them swim in it, or buy more crap with it. It will not bring them love. It will only bring them material wealth.

    If you go forward with this to the police, you will be in the midst of their toxic energy all over again. Your wife will be destroyed further and you will as well, because your wife will be unhappy. If she decides to contact them, to have a relationship with them, which is her perogative, be cautiously protective of her and accompany her to every event. Leave immediately if any drama arises. Ignore phone calls. Do not engage with these mad people. They are borderline psychotic.

    As far as I am concerned, I would be happy they returned the gifts from your side, and make a good home/life with that money/gift. Put it towards something positive. Donate a little to a charity. Plant positivity in the midst of this chaos and this cluster$&%^# that was a “wedding”, but really more like a pomp and circumstance party for your in-laws (um, wtf over the birthday cake thing?!) that you didn’t even want.

    I would go so far as to say plan a vow renewal in a year, do it on a quiet beach all over again and take pleasure in the fact that you are married to the woman you love and not even two evil souls like your in-laws could tear you apart. Hug your parents, savor your relationship with them.

    Arrange a photo album that does not include them as much as possible. Try to make it about the two of you instead of that horrible memory that was that day.

    I would also sell the diamond that you were force fed into buying and buy an entirely new diamond for your wife that is not associated with this nonsense. I can’t imagine looking down at that ring knowing someone forced my husband to get it, even if it was the most beautiful thing on earth. And if you ever come across them again, let that ring be a symbol that you cannot be bought or controlled. You will make your own choices.

    I wish I read this sooner because I think you’ve already made up your mind but I think you’re kind of making a mistake.

    Cut the cancer associated with this part out of your life and you will find peace. Continue forward with this and it will only lead to more heartache.

    I really wish you two the best and hope for your happiness. Marriage is a beautiful thing and you should concentrate on that.

    Post # 37
    Member
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    What horrible, evil, nasty and really just pure SHITTY people you have as in laws!

    I actually felt like throwing my laptop across the room, because they have made me so mad!!! And, my heart is breaking for you and Rose for having to deal with them.

    You both are so strong for being able to stand after having such a horrible experience.

    Cut them out of your lives. People like them deserve to be lonely and miserable. They are so lucky and blessed and they can’t see it. And your Rose is one amazing woman for being able to put up with such nasty parents all of her life, and you really are one of a kind- I don’t think many men would be able to deal with them, but you’re amazing for staying by Roses side.

    Get a lawyer, save any evidence, and sue them or file a police report!!! Justice needs to be served. That was your special day, not theirs, and the fact that they set out to ruin it shows that they are shitty parents! And opening those envelopes was beyond disgusting of them, and everything else.

    Enjoy your lives together, cut these nasties out, and get a restraining order placed against them. 

    I wish you both the best. You two are an amazing and strong couple, and you deserve happiness, not this. 

     

    Post # 38
    Member
    2141 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I’d consider the wedding gifts a bargain price to pay to never have to see or speak to these people again. If I were you, I wouldn’t want to have to put myself through all the interactions with them needed to get your money back, but you might be a stronger person than I am. Either way, I hope your wife is ready to cut them out entirely, now or someday soon.

    Post # 39
    Member
    2587 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

    @Yogurt:  I have no new advice to give, and can only be sorry that you’ve had to go through all this! Definitely seek legal action, as PP have said.

    I hope once it’s all sorted you can come back and tell us how it all turned out.

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