- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I’ve only been engaged a month and I’ve already am seeing how it’s bringing out the worst in her. A little backstory. My dad was not faithful to my mom the whole time they were together and she put up with it for a long time and had a nasty divorce. She doesn’t have much money and feels bad she can’t help out. She also wants to be there for me to do “wedding things” but doesn’t have the money to fly back and forth. But all my life I’ve been independent and this is no different.
So ever since I’ve been engaged, she’s been acting really strange. The first thing was that when she heard my FI’s family may be coming over to meet with us, she seemed to flip out that she couldn’t go and said that she needed to be there “to make sure they don’t ask you to pay for everything.” She was acting like me or my family (but mainly her) would be asked to foot the bill when everyone knows we don’t have money. And I’ve told her how my FI’s family doesn’t believe that the bride’s family should pay for everything. And she later apologized.
The second thing was her repeatedly telling me she couldn’t go to my wedding. She claimed she couldn’t take the time off work and said she couldn’t even ask. I told her it was messed up for her to even tell me she couldn’t go, and even more messed up she wouldn’t even ASK for the time off. She later dropped the drama, asked her boss and everytihng was ok.
The last thing is her now trying to take out her anger on my dad on me. My dad is taking a trip to a somewhat dangerous place and she is telling me to make sure he has a will and demand to him that i be in it. needless to say, it made me feel very awkward and mad. I yelled at her to stop putitng me in the middle of her problems with my dad. this whole time she has been asking about his money and how much money he is giving us and now this. (my dad is actually helping us a lot)
i’ve only been engaged a month and it seems like it’s been a weekly thing that she causes some sort of drama. right now i’m not even talking to her and afraid of what will happen the day my dad, her and my fi’s family meet.
On one hand i feel really guilty for getting angry at her but on the other, she’s pushing me to the limit by saying really messed up things. i try to make her see how she’s being, sometimes she says she sees it and says sorry but then the next week, it’s something new. i don’t know what to do. i don’t want to cut my mom out but i also don’t want to lose my mind.