Post # 1
I’m having my wedding on a Wednesday (about 2 months from now). My fiance and I want a winter wedding and want it to be next year. Only thing is I want my wedding on the 13th; it’s the day I want, it’s my lucky number, and that date just feels right. Some things didn’t go as planned so our original date of Jan 13th (Sunday) didn’t work out, so we moved it to February 13th. I also like that it’s right before Valentine’s Day. But the point it, I do recognize that some people will not be able to make it because it’s in the middle of the day, but I don’t want to change that date at all. I’m willing to video record it and make copies and send it to those who can’t make it, but my fiance and I really do not want to change our date. Am I being selfish? Some people are feeling that I don’t value having them at my wedding because I’m not having it on a weekend, but isn’t my wedding about me and my fiance? I just figure, I’m always the person going out of my way (no matter how inconvenient it is) for EVERYONE in my life (family and friends) and rarely do I get anything in return (not that I expect anything because I do it out of the kindness of my heart). But I feel that they should be willing to be a little inconvenienced seeing as I go above and beyond for all of them all of the time.
Oh and my ceremony will be at 12pm that day and my reception will be from 5pm-9pm that night. So I’d like everyone’s opinion. Am I being a horrible person?
Post # 3
You’re not a horrible person, but I do think it’s kind of selfish to get plan a wedding that’s so tough for people to attend. If you go ahead with this, you should really lower your expectations because it’s very likely that a lot of important guests won’t come and I don’t think you should try to guilt people in to coming. Basically, think of it like a destination wedding where attendance is purely optional for each guest.
Also, I have to ask, why not April 13 (a Saturday)? It’s only a couple more months and would be so much easier for people who love you and want to be at your wedding.
Post # 4
I think it does sound rather inconvenient, from a guest perspective. The ceremony is at noon, but the reception isn’t until 5 p.m., which is a pretty long gap. Is there anything for the out-of-town guests to do between the two events? Also, a 9 p.m. reception is rather late, especially for those who have to work the next day.
Yes, the wedding is about you and your fiance. However, people who may have to travel from out-of-town, as well as local guests, may find the middle of the week wedding a bit hard to accomodate. If I were invited to a wedding during the middle of the week, I’d probably decline, unless it was a close family member.
Post # 5
Personally, I believe the wedding day is about the bride and groom. However, a lot of people like to make it all about how many guests can attend.
I would keep it on a Wednesday!
Post # 6
@msfahrenheit: We’re doing it in February because we want a winter wedding. And yeah we realize that some people will not be able to make it, so we’re not going to expect a huge turnout. We may just have to view it as a destination wedding like you suggest.
Post # 7
As long as your happy with people not being able to attend then thats fine!
Post # 8
Honestly if I was a close friend or relative and you had it on a Wednesday I would be offended especially if no way of getting the day off. I agree with the PP said why not move it til April 13th?
Post # 9
Ours will probably be on a Wednesday also (he wants the 25th, I’m stuck because I like the 25th but feel Thursday is better, especially since it’s an evening wedding… 6-11pm).
We have no out of town people, and we really only have pretty close family and friends. It should be 60 or 70 people. I feel bad about it but… Hopefully it’ll be okay and they won’t hate us.
So you’re not the only one 😛
Post # 10
Do whatever you want, and it sounds like you realize that most people won’t be able to make it. As a guest, I wouldn’t be offended and I would also assume that the couple know that many won’t be able to attend because it’s an inconvenient day/time for attendees who work a standard work week.
Post # 11
@thatredheadedbride: It is a pretty long gap. We’re going to have appetizers and cocktails at the family house (which everyone knows where it is) and the people in our lives are pretty hard party-goers and like to mix & mingle. We may decide to make it reception from 4pm – 8pm instead though.
Post # 12
Why not do your ceremony at night also, so people would be able to get off work and then come to your ceremony/reception together (maybe around 6 pm)?
Post # 13
@HUstrawberry: Honestly, I say don’t worry about it. After 8 months of wedding planning and taking all of my families opinions into consideration, I still got called rude and inconsiderate. I even got called selfish by FH’s parents while going way out of my way to make sure everybody was happy. I’m at the point where I’m done worrying about people’s feelings, if people want to be upset, let them. They will get over it. Hope the etiquette police doesn’t arrest me.
Post # 14
@sheepandbear: That’s terrible =( May I ask what for?
Post # 15
I think it’s fine to pick the day you want, even if it’s unconventional. You do have to be understanding that it’s more difficult for people to attend though. People do need notice to book off time from work though. This is getting pretty close, and there’s a teacher’s convention around then (at least here) and is right before a long weekend, so there are already quite a few people who might be planning a vacation at that time. Are you just giving notice to people now?
Post # 16
@HUstrawberry: I think a lot of this depends on several factors. Do you have a lot of out of town guests? If so, how far are they traveling? Have you discussed this with your nearest and dearest and have you provided adequate time for them to make arrangements? I feel for you about having a date your is important to you!
It has always been really important for me to have a winter wedding as well. However, due to a number of factors, I think SO and I will be moving our tentative date up meaning summer. I was not keen on this idea originally but Irelapsed it was the most logical and made my peace after a few days of thinking. My point is, so what is best for you as a couple! If that means Feb. 13th have at it. If you want a larger turnout, choose April 13th (day before my birthday! Haha) or some other 13. Ultimately, make a pros and cons list if you are really unsure and discuss it with your SO. :] best of luck!