(Closed) My wedding is on a Wednesday

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The list of people for whom I would spend a vacation day to attend their wedding is extremely short.  My days off are precious and planned well in advance.

Post # 33
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

View original reply
@Westwood:  +1

I expect you would have more people coming just to the reception than the number who do RSVP as attending.

Post # 34
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

How far in advance did you let guests know about the date?  Even if you were my best friend or family member, I wouldn’t be able to get time off to go to a noon wedding on a Wednesday (I work in healthcare and we have to choose our vacation time 1 year in advance).  If the date is that important to you, I like the idea of having a private ceremony and then holding a reception later in the week (Friday, Saturday night).

Post # 35
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

If a REALLY good friend or family memeber of mine was holding a wedding on a weekday I would attend. You will have a large amount of regrets, why not hold it on Valentines day itself? Its a thursday, people may not mind as much, and would probablly take off Friday.

Post # 36
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

If you’re that stuck on a date, I’d get legally married (at a courthouse) on the 13th and celebrate your annivesary on that date if you want and then do the full ceremony/reception on the weekend for your guests. As a PP said, I think a wedding is about two families coming together and you should make it as fun and easy for that to happen as possible. We picked our date solely because it was when all of our family members could make it, it is not when I would have personally chosen to have my wedding, but it’s most important to me that as many of our loved ones can make it as possible, I personally can’t imagine not being surrounded by family and friends for my wedding. In fact now that I’m only about a month away, the thing I’m most excited for at my wedding is spending the entire day with all the people I love in one place, for probably the only time in my life ever.

Post # 37
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It will REALLY just depend on your crowd – are they local? Very loyal? Do they have the money and time to travel?

We had our wedding on a Thursday at mid-day. We had family from all over the country and almost all were able to make it – in fact, they took the whole week off! But we were lucky.

Also, our wedding was JUST family, so they made it a priority. Our reception was the next night, a Friday, for friends and family. Most friends are local so they were able to come and enjoy themselves.

I would not take off work for someone’s wedding across country. I’m a teacher and it’s EXTREMELY difficult to fill in a sub with what we’re doing and rely on them to maintain order and learning. I could potentially take time for an event if it was in my city, but I might not know until a couple weeks before the event.

Post # 38
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My answer probably won’t be popular, but here it is anyway. I did a Wednesday wedding, and it was also a date that we weren’t willing to compromise on. And ya know what, even though we only had a handful of people, everyone we invited showed up. Only difference with ours was it was in the evening so the people that had to work didn’t have to take the day off. I feel kind of bad reading all of the replies saying you should change it. In My Humble Opinion, if people want to come they’ll make it.

 

Post # 39
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

The people that want to be there and can be there will be there. You already recognize that some people wont/cant come. 

From another bride though I never understand choosing a location/time that makes it extra difficult or asks the guest to do more than is necessary to attend.  If it were only about you, you’d elope. I wanted to celebrate with my friends and family so I made it as easy as possible for them to make it. To me friends and family trump a desire for a date.

If I were your best friend I would go and have fun and wish you well and only complain to my husband.

Post # 40
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

We chose a Thursday in January.  We also have a date that is significant fo us 1313 so January 3  falls on a Thursday and our anniversary will be 1/3/13. But we also hooped that people wouldn’t make it. Well guess what they are traveling. Ours is small only about 30 people, so we are doing a ceremony on the beach and a dinner cruise.  We wanted simple and quiet and that’s what we did.

Post # 41
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

depends on what your expectations are and where your guests are coming from….the people closest to you will come (especially if they are local) though it is true that you will be making it a little harder on them bc of work vacation time

I do think holding it in the evening after work would be easier on local guests (or being ok w many people missing ceremony but joining for reception)

don’t forget every date next year is a 13 because its 2013….

 

Post # 42
Member
2944 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My first wedding was on a Wednesday. My family grumbled a little bit, but when they found out how special the date was to us, they stopped saying anything and were fully on board. We were both far from our respective homes, so the majority of our guest list was from out of town. The most important people to us came with smiles on their faces. Our intimate reception (40 counting us!) was beautiful and so special. 

I think you should go ahead and keep your date if it’s that important to you. The only problem I see is since it’s so close, people may not be able to set up their time off and travel plans. If you’re prepared to have a very small wedding, then go for it. It’s really just a matter of what’s more important to you and your Fiance. FWIW, if you’re willing to wait a while, Dec. 13 is on a Friday next year. Just a thought.

Post # 46
Member
1794 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

View original reply
@HUstrawberry:  I just wanted to say that even if you decide to have an intimate courthouse wedding, there’s no reason you can’t make it beautiful. You deserve to feel like a bride. Wear your beautiful wedding dress and hire a photographer to commemorate the moment.

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