(Closed) My wedding is on a Wednesday

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@HUstrawberry:  I don’t want you to be setting yourself up for disappointment…your guests, family or not, or whoever, don’t owe you any bending for anything you’ve done for them in the past. If that’s the norm amongst your guest list, then maybe they’ll know that they’ll be expected to attend despite the inconvenient date/time, and they’ll make it happen without any difficulty. If you feel like you’be been in situations where you’ve gone above and behind and it hasn’t been recognized then you’ll probably be disappointed again when people aren’t able to go above and beyond to attend your wedding. Don’t set yourself up to be a martyr.

Like PP have mentioned, a weekday wedding is a huge inconvenience for someone working a standard workday/work week. I really hope that you’re being realistic; expecting someone to do something for you in return for something you’ve done for them in the past is not a healthy expectation in my opinion. 

Post # 48
Member
13942 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think that you need to understand that you are very much inconviencing almost off of your guests by having it in the middle of the day in the middle of the work week.  I would almost certainly decline an invitiation to a Wednesday wedding because it would be a logisitical nightmare for me and Fiance to figure out how to get the same day off.  You need to understand that many of your guests won’t be able to make it because of the date and time, regardless of the fact that they may want to be there. Plus, knowing the areas where you live, I know that traffic can be a ridiculous nightmare around there, and means I’d have to budget significantly more time to make sure I could even get there for a 5 pm reception, during rush hour on a work day.  Honestly, sitting on 95 in basically a parking lot to get there doesn’t sound appealing to me. 

Personally, I find it a bit selfish to do this solely because you don’t want a different date on your marriage license. Perhaps you could get married at the courthouse on 2/13/13 and then have a weekend reception for all of your guests so it’s easier for them to attend. 

Post # 50
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think for people that live in the area it shouldn’t be a problem, but for people that’s not it would be a problem. You also got to think about people work during the week and people have kids that have to go to school the next day. I would probably come if I lived in the same town, but not if I was out of state.

Post # 52
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m not sure if this would be significant to you, but February 13 is Ash Wednesday which is the beginning of Lent.  If any of your guests belong to a denomination that observes Lent, they may be planning to go to church that night. 

Post # 53
Member
6111 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

“Personally, I believe the wedding day is about the bride and groom.  However, a lot of people like to make it all about how many guests can attend. 

I would keep it on a Wednesday!”

 

Ditto!

 

In my state, weddings fall on every day of the week which is very common.  The temple is where most couples get married and they have to pencil you in like a doctor’s appointment – sometimes several weddings a day (then you move the reception to a different place).

Post # 54
Member
6111 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

“Thanks everyone for the honesty. We’re considering making the ceremony private for immediate family only and then having the reception at 5pm as planned. But I have a lot of things to think about in general…I don’t know…I would never say this to them, but I guess I hoped that with all the bending I’ve done for them over the years, that they’d be willing to bend for me, but I don’t think that’s going to be the reality. I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have an actual wedding and should just sell my dress and go to the courthouse to get married. I don’t want everyone to secretly have issues with me and not have a good time. So maybe I should just scrap the whole thing. I don’t know… “

 

I read this post and now I have some qusestions.

Have you brought up the idea with your family first to see if they are up for a midday weekday wedding?  Do any of them have to travel?  Rather than just inviting them and hoping for the best, it’s OK to run ideas past the VIPs.  My sisters were very honest about my ideas, which in turn affected our final outcome.

What if you held the midday courthouse wedding at the last possible time, like 4:30pm?  Then whoever shoes up doesn’t have to take off an entire day of work.  I guess it just depends on how far they are traveling.

Post # 55
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t think you are being selfish or inconsiderate.  It is about you and you fiance, if the date has a meaning to you then keep it.  Just as long as you understand that some people may not be able to make the event.  Maybe a suggestion would be to have your reception on the weekend, although I’m not sure if it works for budget, and play the video of your ceremony during cocktail hour.

Post # 57
Member
9076 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Unless I know the person super, super, super well and am estatic, I wouldn’t go to a wednesday wedding. Truthfully, as a guest, I don’t care if the day is special to someone. Sure, it’s the exact date of your first date or the yearly anniversary of something special, it’s not really going to matter to me. Weekday weddings don’t sit too well with me, but, take it for what you will.

Post # 58
Member
6255 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Asking someone to take a day off work, wait patiently through a five-hour gap, and miss Ash Wednesday services is asking a whole, whole lot IMO.

If it’s really the date that’s important, why not elope or have a destination wedding? There’s not a whole lot of point in putting together a complicated event for just a handful. If I get RSVPs back and there are only going to be 10 or 15 attending for whatever reason, I will probably just get married in the park and grill burgers for the reception. (I guess the winter equivalent of this would be renting out the private room in a nicer restaurant, and then just getting married in there and picking up everyone’s tab.

Or, like PP said, what about getting “officially” married at the courthouse on your date, and then either having your spiritual or “under God” marriage on a day when most can make it (or at least doing the reception then?)

 

Post # 59
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If I got invited to a weekday wedding I straight up wouldn’t go unless it was my sisters. I grumble when I have to go to a wedding only a few hours away (when the bride and groom live close to me) because it’s inconvenient. Im busy during the week. I have school, work, homework, and by the time I’m done with all that the last thing I want to do is go to someone’s wedding because I’m tired and want to relax.

At the end of the day it just depends on who you want there and if your family and friends don’t mind being inconvenienced. For me, I want everyone to be able to attend so I can spend my special day with all of the special people in my life.

And I really just don’t understand why that day is so important and you HAVE to have your wedding on that day. Seems a bit silly to me. But to each their own!! Good luck!!

Post # 60
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

@HUstrawberry:  I will be a guest at a wedding this Wednesday, 12-12-12, and I don’t mind telling you it is VERY inconvient.  Do I think it is rude, yes.  Inconsiderate yes. Wedding at 3:30, reception at 5:30 in a very small town.  What are we supposed to do between the wedding and reception? There are no bars, maybe a small dive to eat at. You’re thinking why am I going? It’s the eldest child of my only sibling and my name would be mud if I didn’t go. Vent over! 

Post # 61
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

Forgot to add it’s five hours away, which I admit isn’t their fault.

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