(Closed) My Wedding Isn't To Please Everybody

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

When you choose a destination wedding, you have to expect that not everyone will come. If Future Father-In-Law is dragging his feet because he wants the wedding back east, you can’t waiver. You have to let him know you would love him to be there but the wedding will continue without him. 

Post # 4
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This was similar to our situation. My entire family lives in one state with the exception of Mom and sister. We had a Destination Wedding in Florida (coincidentally where Mom and sis live). DH’s entire..I mean even cousins and their children…came for a week. None of my family came except my Dad and stepmother. It wasn’t “where they wanted to go for a vacation, we want to go to a different beach, why can’t you have it here…..” etc.

I DIDN’T have a bbq reception as requested after the wedding, and I don’t plan on it. I don’t live in that state.

A Destination Wedding really pares down your guest list. But you can’t force people to come, even if you are paying for it. We paid for our entire wedding, but people still had to pay for accomodations, flights/travel, food..on an island, which wasn’t cheap.

Post # 5
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hawaii is far and expensive for a “vacation” not of your choosing. If your FIs father runs a small business, that is asking a lot from him. Destination weddings are difficult for many reasons. I know it’s hard for you but try to look at it from your FIs family’s perspective a little bit.

What about a location not so far away? That way your Father-In-Law wouldn’t have to be away for so long?

Post # 6
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would be disappointed to, especially since you offered to pay for it. However, unfortunately some people (even close family) do not attend weddings if they are not convenient. Another possibility that popped into my head is that perhaps your Future Father-In-Law knows he cannot afford a trip to Hawaii for the wedding, and feels uncomfortable accepting financial help (or feels uncomfortable accepting the help, even if he could afford it). Also, some people have strong feelings about the way weddings should be done. It is true that you can’t please everyone always. However,  I would make sure that your Fiance absolutely is okay with doing a destination wedding with the possibility of his relatives not attending. If he is and you feel like you would regret not having your wedding in Hawaii, then I think you should do your original plan. Otherwise, maybe it is time to rethink things.

Post # 9
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

unfortunately this is what you get with destination weddings, even if you are paying.  some people just can’t take that time away.  i know that he initially said yes, but he is entitled to change his mind for whatever the reason.


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