Post # 1
Just a vent… Thank you in advance for listening.
So the Mother-In-Law recently informed us that she will be here 2 days prior to the wedding and staying for a total of 9 days… with us. I can’t help but feel like our newlywed bliss is being slightly invaded, even though I love her dearly. She really doesn’t have many choices of people to stay with but c’mon. Thursday (the day she arrives) before the wedding is the last night I will be able to relax with Mr.A & the kids in our home, Friday will be full of last minute things and rehearsal/welcoming Out of Town guests, then Saturday is the wedding. This totally means she will be coming home with us on our wedding night. Its not in our budget to “get a room” and with my kids/sister/BIL staying at my parents there is no room for her there. Sunday we, meaning Mr.A, Mother-In-Law, & I, are traveling to see his brother which is going to literally take all day.
Initially we were just going to take a long weekend the following week and spend a few days on the coast but have had to change that due to MIL’s visit as well since she needs a ride to the airport (2.5 hour drive each way) on Saturday. It seems whiney but we have kids, jobs, and life in general that will prevent us from postponing what little of a honeymoon we can afford. (Let’s face it, reality is we will spend the money on the little things we have put off before we ever get another chance at time away.) Shoot, we rarely ever go out with friends or have the kids go to the sitter for any reason other than work!
It seems so petty and I feel guilty for even letting this bother me, which is why I haven’t said anything to anyone except for here and to my Mother. I keep telling myself that Mr.A and I have lived together for so long that our wedding night will be the same as always… ya’ll… I am NOT convinced of this in any way… it’ll be our first night MARRIED. Even if there were no hanky panky it would be more special than any other day! lol ACK! Just thinking about it spins my tummy in knots and causes anxiety. (Thank you Ativan for being my friend!)
OK OK… I’m done. 🙂 Thanks again for the ear… Off to grin and bear it!
Post # 3
You are a far better person than I am. Just wanted to tell you that, lol. I’m sorry that it’s going to have to be like that. :/ No fun. But you are looking at it the right way. Venting is always ok!
Post # 4
@AmeliaBedelia: Thanks doll… lol Fingers are crossed that she and the SIL mend things in the next 9 weeks and she can stay there. ROFL Daydreaming is wonderful isn’t it!?!
Post # 5
Kind of nuts. Put her up in a hostel? LOL. Kidding, of course, but it seems kind of nasty of her to not at least give you your first night of newleywed status ALONE, take your kids away somewhere for the night, etc. You don’t seem entitled at all, but you deserve something nice! Do you have any friends that can shack her up for the night? lol.
Post # 6
wow that is so inconsiderate of her. I can’t believe she hasn’t thought of the fact that you guys might want to be alone the night of your wedding. Talk to you Fiance. He needs to suggest to her that the night of the wedding she stay elsewhere.
Post # 7
Maybe see if you can rope her into babysitting the night of the wedding and get a hotel room? Sometimes you can find really great deals, even on a tight budget.
That is really inconsiderate of her, but you have to make the best of it now, so I would take advantage of her being there to get a little alone time with your new hubby. That’s just me, though 🙂
Post # 8
@LuckyJuls: A hostel!? There is one downtown!!! lmao We have some great friends and maybe one of them wouldn’t mind. I haven’t wanted to ask anyone just because if she EVER found out she would take it so personal, like I don’t want her here or appreciate her coming for the wedding. May have to cave! 🙂
@Meowkers: You are right, he does need to be the one to suggest it. My Mom jokingly asked if she could join the sleepover too… what a turd. lol
Post # 9
@Fixin2BMrs.Awesome: I asked to join my daughter and SILs honeymoon, only because they were using our all-inclusive membership in Mexico, LOL 😉 I think your hubby to be needs to bring this up to her-pronto! You two deserve a honeymoon night at least.
Post # 10
Can’t you wiggle the budget a bit for a hotel room? Sell something on ebay?
Then gram can stay with the kids- no need to pay a sitter!
Post # 11
I agree, use the sitter money to send her and the kids to a hotel for the night. Book a cheap place with an indoor pool (to enteratin the kids) if you can find one in your area, ask for late check out and let her take your car. Sell it to her as bonding time with her grandchildren and as a wedding gift to you both.
Post # 12
You should not be feeling guilty OR petty about wanting to spend your wedding night alone with your husband!
Goodnes me, I can’t believe your Mother-In-Law is being so oblivious & selfish. Could she not have saved up a bit of money to stay in a hotel room for a night or two? Would she not have known about the upcoming wedding and perhaps planned ahead??
Post # 13
Oh girl, you are SO much nicer than I would be.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, you should be able to be alone on your wedding night, and people should understand that, in particular Mothers/MIL’S!
Post # 14
I agree with PPs, you are being incredibly understanding.
Where is your Fiance in this? Isn’t he bothered? Has he considered talking to his mom?
Post # 15
Even if you guys can’t come up with the money for hotel that evening, why can’t she? Do you live in the most expensive part of the country? I live on the CT shoreline and can find a room for less than $100 almost anywhere… I feel that she should be accomodating here and that it is ridiculous of her to expect you to change your mini-moon plans to include her. Please have you Fiance speak with her ASAP and let her know this is unacceptable. You wouldn’t want to harbor hurt feelings forever.
Post # 16
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Can you ask a friend to host your Mom for a few days? I would absolutely do that for one of my friends, considering the circumstances. Or, I know you said there’s no room at your parents, but could they take her for a couple nights? One of the kids could stay on a couch or air mattress if that gives her a bed. Or does another family member have space? Could you call the SIL and ask for her to host her, despite their differences?
Also, it shouldn’t be your responsibility to drive her to the airport-let someone else take her of these details.
I do think this will be a special night, regardless of the fact that you’ve lived together before. You deserve privacy for this night (with kids, I’m sure that can be scarce!) If it’s not in your budget, SHE should get a room-I can’t imagine someone wanting to crash a wedding night. Hope this works out for you!