(Closed) “my wedding.” OH SNAP (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

You’re in the final countdown. I know it’s ridiculously frustrating! Trust me…my mom did a lot of similar things, and my parents helped to pay for a portion of our wedding, not everything. So there were a ton of things that my husband and I paid for that my mom thought she had a say in b/c she was giving us some money towards the reception.

This isn’t a battle worth fighting. Just get through your 2 weeks and it will all be over. You’ll be on your honeymoon relaxing and this will all be behind you!

Post # 4
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That’s annoying!  Try to laugh it off.  You’re getting married!  AHHH So exciting.  Hopefully your honeymoon will be relaxing. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Awww…That definitely sucks! I hate that. I am going through some similar stuff with my mom since she is mostly paying for everything too. But I am in your same boat. I am done with this in just over three weeks. Just got to keep my tolerant face on until then. LOL. Good luck to you too!!!

Post # 6
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

oooo tough! athough a gift to all of us, mothers can me hard to handle sometimes…but you are soooooo close – hang in there love!

Post # 7
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think you can just blow off the fact that she is paying for everything by saying you think gifts should have no strings attached.

This obviously is a really big deal for her and I think you should suck it up and let her have some fun with it.

Sorry to be blunt, but that is my opinion.

Post # 9
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Oneeleven: I agree.  Your mother is giving you a tremendous gift and you seem to be pretty dismissive of it.  Of course she’ll have some ownership in it- you don’t spend that much money and evergy on something without taking some ownership! She made a slip of tongue; this is hardly something worth worrying over. It’s also a small price to pay for getting a free wedding, lol.  My parents are paying for my wedding too and my mother is taking a leading role in planning it, something for which I am very thankful. I wouldn’t expect her to gift me almost enough money to buy a new car without some strings attached!

Post # 10
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@eliwhit: *gurk* the “my wedding” would freak me out too. Are you happy with everything so far, and it’s just her saying that phrase that’s annoying? Then maybe think of a snappy comeback that makes you laugh, then say it (silently) every time she says “my wedding,” and just roll with it. OR make a drinking game…

If she’s strongarmed you into doing a lot of things you don’t want, that IS annoying. But, like you said, 2 weeks!! A drinking game could help here too.

Post # 11
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

@eliwhit:

 

If the giver was involved in choosing and downloading the content of said iPod?  Absolutely.

Post # 12
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Oneeleven: I’m in total agreement here. In the long run, is this really important? No. The woman is paying to give you the wedding of your dreams, let her have fun. I wish my parents had helped when I got married.

 

Post # 13
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m with you on money not buying the right to make every decision about a wedding. I think it’s BS. Parents should understand that the day isn’t about them, and that the money shows SUPPORT not OWNERSHIP.

Stay strong – choose your battles. Sometimes peace is more important than showing the other person how “right” you are!

Post # 14
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The way I look at it and was told is that if someone is helping pay (or paying) for the wedding the money does come with strings. My mother in law offered to pay for my dress… But she wanted me to wear the dress she wanted she was not happy with my choice so Im paying for my dress… If your parents are paying for the wedding they should get to have a say. If you dont want them to have a say you should have just paid for the wedding yourself….

Post # 15
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That would seriously annoy me..”a say” does not equal “MY wedding”. I would have probably reminded her that she already had her wedding…LOL. I definitely think that your mom should have a say as far as guest list and the price of things, but ultimately, the wedding should be a reflection of you and your Fiance….and it’s NOT hers….seriously that would annoy me to no end. Two more weeks…tough it out to the end =) 

Post # 16
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think OP has made it pretty clear that her mother HAS had a say in it, but she feels uncomfortable that her mother is treating this as her own wedding. It is a negative that comes along with accepting financial support (in ANY situation) but I think you did well, OP, in coming here to vent rather than make a big deal of it IRL. I can understand that it would be frustrating to constantly be reminded of that fact and I think that you prefaced this post making it clear that you are grateful your mother has helped you out.

12 days! Just 12 more days!

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