- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Well to begin with my very special day. We spent $25,000 on our wedding. You would think it would’ve went well for the money we spent on it, especially it being a small wedding. Keep in mind I don’t have parents or grandparents and not a lot of friends. I had asked my best friend for almost 20 yrs to be my maid of honor 5 months prior to my wedding and she said yes. I told her I would need her for the few days prior to my wedding to get all my wedding stuff done and that she was to get an elegant black dress since she lived outta town and I wanted to see it, that was all she had to do and she said yes, I had asked her if she wanted extra days for her and her boyfriend if they wanted to go site seeing, since they hadn’t been there before and she said no they wouldn’t need it.
I said ok and I ordered her gifts for her which a spent a few hundred on her gifts alone custom made. I had kept in contact with her the whole time pretty much every week or two. I had asked her politetly everytime we spoke if she bought her dress yet. She would always answer no, I had even sent her pics to get her dress custom made and that I would reimburse her for it. I bought my dress on whatabeautifullife.com at only $200 for it to be custom fit and expressed delivered. It was beautiful and exactly like the picture and only took two months to receive it.
A week and a half before the wedding she tells me that she has cancellation insurance on her flights and that she is renting a car for her and her boyfriend to go site seeing while they are in town doing wedding stuff with me and that she still hadn’t bought her dress she found something in her closet that would go and never showed me a picture of it. I told her I had a problem with her boyfriend doing wedding stuff with us and if they could do their site seeing after the wedding or a few days before I needed her since I was the planner for my wedding and she knew it.
She blew up on me over the phone and said that it was their vacation and how dare I expect her to do anything for my wedding without her boyfriend, including the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner as well as him being in the room where I get ready or for him to be with the wedding party of grooms men. I told her I needed her help 5 months ago and she didn’t have a problem with it and all of a sudden she got mad at me for my wedding that her boyfriend, that constantly cheats on her which she is well aware of and she is engaged to and just opened a strip club with him and she doesn’t like his baby, was not a part of my wedding. I told her he was her guest and I was even going to pay for their hotel room as well, I also told her that I wasn’t even gonna have a bridal shower or bachlorette, she told me that wasn’t her problem and she doesn’t know who my friends are. I offered her other arrangements and had to find another maid of honor because I had no brides maids, it was a very small wedding and it was a 5-7 hr drive for us to get there, and I really needed the help for setup and all. I had contacted her through text and hadn’t heard from her for 4 days.
The wedding was now less than 7 days away, I had booked for hair appointments which I was also paying for. I had emailed her to not bother coming to my wedding since I was inconveniencing her and her man and to save the money and go on a trip for themselves. I never heard from her until the day before my wedding she sends me a nasty email of how I didn’t have her man, that she plans to marry one day, be a part of my wedding, which I haven’t met him ever, and that how rude and so on that I am to assume that she had to do anything for my wedding. She made it seem as though I was ruining their vacation when I had already asked her ahead of time if she wanted the extra time. She planned all along to not help me. I was very upset to read something like that from her since she knew well ahead of time my plans and she said she spoke to other people and that she shouldn’t have to do anything for my wedding. I asked her to look up the duties of a maid of honor and most of the duties I did, this was a conversation the week and a half before the wedding, she said yeah ok and that I could email her anytime, this was through text. She didn’t care that it was my wedding and not hers. She also told me she decided not to come all on her own, not the fact I told her not to come.
I had to cancel her hair appointment and talk to them about my situation so I wouldn’t get charged for her hairdo. I had got another girl friend right away to help me and be my maid of honor, which it took me a few days to think about during the time I didn’t hear from her. I didn’t have a lot of time at this point. My husband helped me the whole time to get prepared for the wedding, since I am a stay at home mom with a now 9 month old baby. So being a full time mom and getting all the arrangements done for the wedding were quite the task for me.
So the moral of the story is make sure you choose wisely when it comes to your brides maids and maid of honors…Choose ones that are willing to help you no matter what and that they will be there for you on your special day. This is the BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!!! You have no idea how many people lose their best friends when it comes to your big day.
I also lost my second best friend over my wedding day as well. I purposely booked my wedding on her days off and said I would pay for her hotel. She had been to this city many times before. Her excuse not to go was because her boyfriend had to work. I had given her almost 5 months notice and she said she can’t just book time off for me whenever. Mind you just before my wedding she had 3 weeks off work. I hadn’t seen either one of them in over 3 years. She just didn’t want to go. They never even met my son and husband. I moved to a town where I have no friends or family to help or visit. I really thought they cared about me but I realize now that they don’t. I am no longer friends with them since their comments on fb were directed towards me and rude and laughing at me. I just took them off my friends list.
The Day of the Wedding, well that is part 2, and let me tell ya it gets worse.