(Closed) My Wedding Part 2

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i am so sorry, that must have been an awful experience 🙁

Post # 4
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am sorry you feel this way about your wedding. I can’t imagine all of the money and planning that goes into a wedding and the feeling of such disappointment. What are some good things about your wedding?  

Post # 5
Member
13295 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Okay, my opinion is already a bit biased from your first post that I just read, so I’m going to try to keep this even-keeled.

(1) You can’t get mad at your officiant for being in a car accident.  Clearly, she didn’t go out of her way to wreck her car the day of your wedding just to spite you.  Weddings start late, it’s a given.  Things happen.  That’s life.  10-15 is no big deal to get stressed about!  And honestly, she’s right.  You married the man you love, so that’s really what matters.

(2) Did you have a layout given to your DJ to tell him where to set up?  Did he do a sound-check first?  Was a sound check ever addressed prior to this and written in your contract?  Did the DJ promise to play the full song list, or just portions of it? Did you tell him the song for the toasts, when the toasts would be, who was making them, etc?  If you didn’t, that’s not his fault.

(3) The food thing is ridiculous on their part.  If it says no citrus in your contract and everything had citrus, you need to approach them about that and calmly tell them about their breach of contract.  Request at the very least the 50% of your money back that the chef agreed to previously, if not the full amount.  I wouldn’t expect the full amount back though, because it sounds like people did eat it.  If it didn’t say no citrus in the contract though, you’re probably out of luck, because you can only go by what’s written down.

I know it’s your wedding, and you wanted it to be perfect, but nothing is ever perfect.  It sounds to me like you had a bit of a chip on your shoulder because of the Maid/Matron of Honor drama, and the drama spilled over into the wedding day.  I’m sorry your day wasn’t what you expected, but in a few years, you’ll laugh about it chaotic it was while you celebrate your anniversaries and milestones with the man you love.

Post # 6
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Missloveknot:  I’m curious too about the good things that happened that day!

OP, I agree with the PP that the officiant didn’t purposely have an accident to make your wedding late.  Thank God she was ok enough to even conduct the ceremony otherwise your day might have not even happened.

But all the other things you mentioned, I’d seriously go over your contracts.  These people messed up and you should be given a reasonable refund.  I’d be very professional and send letters/emails to them so you have proof of your convos.

Post # 8
Member
13295 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@PhuriousMrs_B:  Sorry you didn’t get the answers you wanted.

For what it’s worth, I’d go to each of the vendors now that the wedding is over and give a point-by-point description of what they failed to do and ask for your money back.  If it’s in the contract, it’s a legally binding agreement of services they were obligated to provide.  Failing to do so is wrong on their part.

Post # 9
Member
13295 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@PhuriousMrs_B:  And in regards to the Maid/Matron of Honor issue, I don’t think anyone said you were wrong and should have bended to her every whim, but more that you’ve thrown away a 20 year friendship and disinvited her to the wedding (which was the most important day of your life, in your description).  It seemed like more of a vent than asking for help or advice, so you didn’t really get help or advice, just comments about your actions and how things could have been different.

Post # 10
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@abbie017:  +1

if they refuse to pay you back, then you could take them to small claims court, but that usually costs time and money. have you thought about having a small wedding/vow renewal sometime in the future? that could give you a chance to ‘redo’ your day and get the wedding day you want and deserve 🙂

Post # 11
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

I call BS on this entire wedding story.

Post # 12
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@PhuriousMrs_B:  I was told by a marriage counselor once that the wedding planning part is a good tool in how you’ll work through issues in your marriage.  And the wedding itself might have imperfections but how you both deal with them together is what really matters.  I’m not sure how old you are but I’ve learned in my 36 years of life that dwelling on the bad isn’t always healthy. 

There is a message behind it all….once you figure that out, you can move on and will be stronger from it.  And don’t leave the bee out of hatred, sometimes other bees just tell you like it is….the internet makes it seem more cold than it is. 

Post # 13
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My wedding was a disaster too. It was really disappointing because like you I spent a lot of time trying to plan things but on the wedding day, it all blew up in my face. I’m not sure I have much advice since it took me a while to get over it and even now it still sometimes hurts. Just try to forget about the wedding and focus on the present.

Post # 15
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

What a load of rubbish. $25,000, 16 guests and you didn’t get to say ‘I do’.

Yeah, right.

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