my wedding was not actually the best day of my life

posted 2 years ago in Recaps
Post # 2
Hostess
9837 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

I’m 1000% positive that you are the only one that noticed these things and can assure you that your guests had an amazing time. ((Hugs)) It’s all up from here!! 

Post # 3
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Weddings make people weird. The brides and grooms, the wedding party, the guests…everyone has the potention to get weird 

Post # 4
Member
7623 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I loved my wedding, but like you I was too stressed and hyped up on adrenaline to fully enjoy it. This was partly due to a huge amount of family drama that happened in the lead-up to the wedding. It was a wonderful day, but I’m not sure I’d call it the best day of my life. I’d say certain days of our honeymoon were probably more enjoyable to be honest!

Post # 6
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee

I’m still in the planning process and like you I’m pretty relaxed about it and keeping it all simple, just a party for everyone to have a good time. But I’m starting to feel like I’m getting drawn into some of the details and thinking about how it might be on the day, how it can go smoothly and nicely, but I know there are always unexpected things happening on the day, you can’t care too much about that. Unfortunately what you were talking about is what I’m afraid will happen to me in the day! 

Post # 8
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

It’s completely understandable that your wedding might not have been the best day ever, and I think it’s totally fine to feel that way! Society really tends to hype up “the wedding day,” and there is a lot of pressure for brides to have the best day of their life. Honestly, that’s just not realistic when you think about how stressful weddings are, especially the planning and lead-up to the big day. Also, the wedding reception is basically a big party, so the bride and groom also have to worry about being great hosts to their guests. It is easy to become sensitive about the details when you are trying to make sure everyone (including yourself!) has a fun time.

I was like you in the sense where I hired pros to plan and put on the wedding. My husband and I really wanted to enjoy the day without having to worry about anything, so being able to just breathe and not think about the little details on the day-of was so worth it. However, I still couldn’t help but keep wondering if my guests were enjoying themselves (especially during the reception), whether or not guests thought the wedding looked beautiful (which shouldn’t really matter in the long run!), and other little things that bothered me in the moment. With all that being said, those little pressures, afterthoughts, or insecurities are felt by more brides that one would think. Like PPs said, guests probably do not even notice if something is off or not how you would want it. So in the end, while you shouldn’t let yourself get too down about anything that wasn’t just right, it is also completely okay to accept that sometimes, your wedding day isn’t perfect. In the days and months leading up to the wedding, a lot of people told me and my husband that our wedding would be the best day of lives, and I disagree with that belief because I think your wedding day should be one of the best days of your life, not the be-all-end-all!

Post # 9
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
smalltowncanadian :  I can tell you I did not enjoy my wedding. I wasn’t stressed out that day even though one of the groomsmen was late and made my ceremony delayed and we couldn’t take as many pictures in the church as I hoped. The entire reception we were walking around talking to each table and it took us all night so that was what my wedding day was. I love being married, I love all of our pictures , I love people are still telling what an amazing wedding it was 7 months later but I do not share their same sediment about the day. I think it’s normal, my mom even warned me that most couples don’t enjoy their wedding days, you are pulled in too many directions and too many people wanting their time with you. 

Post # 10
Member
2310 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

I was in such a weird mood before my wedding, I didn’t want anyone with me. I wanted to be alone. It was stressful. Once the ceremony was over, things were easy. 

Post # 11
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I can relate on some level. While the day was beautiful and there honestly weren’t any slip ups (with my luck, I am still trying to figure out how at least SOMETHING didn’t crash and burn), I was in “stimulus overload” – my brain was not keeping up with everything that was going on, and the entire day felt like a total blur because of that. I enjoyed certain moments of my wedding, but sadly didn’t really enjoy the day as a whole.

Post # 12
Member
840 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
smalltowncanadian :  mine wasn’t the best day ever, either. There were some wonderful moments and nothing went wrong, but it was such a long day. I just wanted it to end, and have a nap.

Post # 13
Member
6915 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

The expectation that one’s wedding day should be the “best day of your life” is completely unrealistic, and your married friends misrepresented how a wedding day usually is. Most weddings are huge events with many different things that must be coordinated. Two people filling all the roles necessary for the day – behind the scenes planning, host and hostess, being in the spotlight, etc. – along with the high emotions that go with making a lifetime committment to someone is bound to leave one torn in many different directions. It is almost impossible to ever relax and enjoy the day you have worked so hard for. 

Ultimately, we need to stop telling ourselves or expecting that a wedding will be a magical fairy tale. It is often a logistical headache and an extraordinarily long day. The list of things a couple needs to do and remember is almost endless. It simply cannot usually be all romance and relaxation. However, it really does sound like your wedding went well. And you sound happy to be married, which is the part that really matters!

Post # 14
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

I was super sick on my wedding day, couldn’t eat at the reception, ended up at the urgent care in my wedding gown, and my brand new husband’s ex was blowing up our e-mails.

So yeah, I’m right there with ya. 😂 Been married almost 8 years now.

Post # 15
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Yep! I also was not a bridezilla at all, I was really organised though and everything went perfectly but I just did not enjoy my wedding. I loved my outfit, hair, makeup etc. It’s such a shame as we had the same guest list for our engagement party and i had an absolute blast at that. In fact i’ve always enjoyed my parties just not the most expensive one unfortunately.

I put it down to pressure, I found the priest marrying us was mean, the day was so long with a big gap between ceremony and reception. I hadn’t slept well for a few days beforehand from nerves. My Dad accidentally took out the picnic basket  from our limo and forgot to put it back so we had no food all day so that gave me a headache and made me feel yuck by the time we got to the reception. I stressed about the dance, speeches, if everyone was having fun, the food etc. Everyone else had a great time and I would never share it with my husband as he had a wonderful day and would be so hurt. I have gotten over it though as not every day will be the best day and it was just one of those things. 

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