Post # 1
There I said it. I said it with a huge lump of guilt in my throat.
To preface: I’m over the moon to be a married woman. I love the man that I married and I have no regrets about marrying him at all. This isn’t about getting married. It’s about the wedding itself.
A few weeks ago I read a post about some brides talking about things that went wrong at their wedding and I remember thinking how can they say that? It’s the best day of your life, the little thing shouldn’t bother you, but alas here I am feeling the same thing.
A few things went wrong, my hair was flat in about an hour, my make up made me look washed out (the current facebook photos that are up make me look awful!) and I was due on my period and I felt bloated and fat in my dress, not to mention that the corset wasn’t done up properly so it didn’t fit comfortably all day and I think it showed.
I feel like such a terrible person writing this post, and I haven’t felt excited about the wedding since it happened… I’m not looking forward to getting my pro pictures back and I absolutely dread more fb photos going up and most of all I feel AWFUL thinking it’s suppose to be the best day of your life and it just doesn’t feel like it was to me 🙁
Post # 3
I’ve always felt like your wedding day shouldn’t be “the best day of your life,” actually.
It’s only a beginning, after all. It would be pretty disappointing if you peaked on Day One and the rest of your marriage was downhill from there, right? You have a wonderful future to look forward to with your new husband and many better days ahead, days that will take you by surprise because they won’t have all that build-up, they’ll just happen. So don’t get hung up on your wedding day having to be the best day of your life. The best days are still ahead of you.
Post # 4
Aww, I’m sorry that you feel like your wedding didn’t work out the way you wanted it to. I’m sure the professional photos will be lovely though!
I’ve always thought it would be a pretty sad state of affairs if my wedding was the happiest day of my life. There are so many other things to experience in life, that if you’ve gone and had the happiest day of your life now, what is there to look forward to? You’ve got the joy of buying a house together, raising a family, seeing your children grow, experiencing highs and lows with your friends and family, working through problems with your husband and becoming a strong couple…the list goes on.
To be honest, I think weddings get so much hype as “this is the biggest day of your life” that it’s impossible for the wedding to live up to that and, honestly, who would want it to? Do you really want to have the best day of your life over with by the time you’re 30 (or however old you are)?
Post # 5
Oh no, I’m sorry. It’s good that you are seeing the positives like marrying your love, but I also want to point out one more thing. Crappy non-professional Facebook pictures are always bad, really. Any of my friends with non-pro pics look worlds different compared to their pro pics. So don’t give up yet!
Post # 6
@KCKnd2: +1 to this!
The wedding is supposed to be fun, but the big deal is not the wedding… it’s the marriage. If a day with special details and decorations and guests did not live up to other wonderful days with your hubby… you are the lucky ones. 🙂
Post # 7
Wow, I was SO sure I’d be flamed for saying this on the bee so I did hesitate about posting but what you’ve said really was just what I needed to hear, I actually felt a relief reading the posts and, well burst into tears! It felt like you gave me permission to be allowed to say it wasn’t the “best day” and I think that’s where the grey cloud has come from hanging over me. I think I was feeling like, well that was the best day of your life so if you didn’t enjoy it then tough. That’s your lot!
I know this is irrational but that was my thinking!
Definately going to mull over what KCKnd2 and LadyElva said and Pinkmoon I’ll hold out on hope that you’re right!
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
It’s okay if you are not head over heels in love with your wedding, as long as you are head over heels in love with your husband.
Post # 9
@Soon2BeeMrsG: Pinterest (and to an extent, this website) lead a lot of women to believe that everything is supposed to be rainbows and glitter on your wedding day when, in reality, there are so many moving parts something is bound to go wrong. It’s FANTASTIC if everything goes exactly according to plan, but the chances of that happening are slim. As long as you can look back on your day and think “This was the beginning of the best part of my life,” you’re great!
Post # 10
“by the way, if your wedding is the best day of your life, you are not living life to the fullest)”
Anyways, this person’s got it right!
Post # 11
I don’t think the wedding should be the best day of your life, what about the day you have children, celebrate you’re 10th, 20th…50th wedding anniversary, retire. The wedding isn’t the start of your life, nor the end of your life. Also, I’m pretty sure the best day of your life is hands down your birthday, the very first one when you came into the world, crying and screaming, after all, there would be no life to contemplate the best day of had that day never happened.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
@MrsWBS: Let’s try not to denigrate those women who feel that their wedding day was the best day of their life. There is no need to put one perspective down in order to validate another. Both are equally valid.
Post # 13
@Soon2BeeMrsG: Don’t feel guilty about feeling that way! I feel the exact same way about my wedding. It wasn’t the best day of my life so far, or even in the 50th percentile of best days. I still don’t like looking at my wedding pictures because it reminds me of how stressed I was that day.
Everyone builds up the wedding day to be this big watershed moment, but for some of us it just isn’t that way. I expected it to feel significant and special, but in reality, what is much more special is the ordinary days that I spend with my husband, when we are enjoying our life together. Our wedding day was below-average compared to all the other days we’ve spent together, and I’m learning to be okay with that.
ETA: and congratulations on being married! Now you can put the wedding day behind you and enjoy life with your husband!
Post # 14
IMO the idea that your wedding must be the best most amazing day of your life was created by the wedding industry as marketing ploy. I don’t expect my wedding to be the best day of my life. That would mean my life would be all down hill from there haha. Having just one best day of my life seems very strange to me. Don’t worry that your wedding wasn’t perfect and concentrate on the many wonderful days you have to come with your new husband! Congratulations!!!
Post # 15
@lovekiss: You have GOT to be kidding me! I didn’t.
I think you’re being a bit overly sensitive and I’m sorry you found that denigrating or offensive. I think we both know that wasn’t the intention.
And why single me out when PPs said the exact same thing?!
Post # 16
@KCKnd2: Agreed! The wedding industry has spent a lot of time and money to make people think the wedding is supposed to be the best day of your life and it’s not. It’s a nice day, but don’t feel bad that, just like any other day, things didn;t go perfectly. If you’re happy and in love with your husband, that’s what matters!