Post # 1
as most bees know, Darling Husband and I had a hard time getting pregnant.
While TTC the “when are you guys going to have kids” questions were non stop from our family and friends. Once we opened up to them about the struggles we were having the questions stopped.
Now that I am miraculously 8 months pregnant, I am already getting the “when are you guys going to have another one” questions.
Honestly, I don’t think they mean any harm, I think it is “conversation vomit”. The question is out of their mouth as a filler question before they even think about it. Nonetheless, I am so fed up and things are about to get ugly!
Having to rehash/relive the struggles we had with people who KNOW how hard it was on us is taking its toll. I know this might sound weird but can’t they be happy we are blessed with at least one? I know I am!!
Sorry for the rant- I’m having one of those days and I am sure there are other bees out there who can relate.
Post # 3
I think you have every right to be upset. This is without a doubt one of the rudest questions someone could be asked. I don’t think ANYONE should ask about another couple having a baby. Very rude, and potentially hurtful (as is your case.)
Although we are not TTC yet, someone close to me had this issue (with several miscarriages) and it’s a heartbreaking experience. I hope people wise up in the future. I personally think you can answer with a dignified “That is personal information”, or “That’s between SO and myself”, and leave it at that.
Post # 4
Wow–I’d be frustrated too! You haven’t even had your first one yet for goodness sake! I can’t relate to that yet as we’re still in the TTC process, but I can imagine that would be annoying, especially considering the hard road you had to travel in order to get this one. My mom told me last night that my dad told her they are never going to have grandchildren and they need to accept that. We haven’t come right out and said we’re TTC, but I mention all the time about “when we have kids…” so I’m not sure why he feels he’ll never have grandkids. Anyway, I’m sorry people aren’t being very sensitve toward you.
Post # 5
@panterapeach: That’s so annoying, especially of people know about your struggles they should just let you enjoy the happiness of ONE baby, especially before it’s even born.
However, my gyno refers to pregnancy as “the ultimate reset button” so maybe #2 will be a snap, and you’ll be posting here all like “we only did it once, could I be ku!?!”. :p
Post # 6
Oh I feel you! But you said this: “I know this might sound weird but can’t they be happy we are blessed with at least one? I know I am!!”
I think that’s a perfect answer to people’s question. Tell them that right now, you’re very blessed to be pregnant with your first and that’s what you’ll be focusing on. Even after you have the baby, use that and remind them that you struggled to have the first, so you don’t expect the second to be any easier. The more you put people in their place, the less they’ll ask stupid questions like these.
Post # 7
I always say something stupid like “oh I know, right? We’d have a million if we could!” and it never goes further 😉
Post # 8
@2PeasinaPod: I agree with this. Something like “you know how hard it was to get pregnant this time, I can’t even think about going through it again” will hopefully keep the questions at bay
Post # 9
I can totally relate of course. I doubt anybody will say that to us knowing what we went through to conceive, but if they do, I’ll just simply ask them for $15,000 for our next round of IVF. I’m sure that will shut them up!!
I can’t believe people would ask you this while you are still pregnant! That’s just crazy.
I’m so excited for you!!!! 🙂
Post # 10
aww thank you bees! I knew you would understand.
Why can’t people in my “real life” be as kind and thoughful as the bees. Love you guys!
@Jenn23: I am so excited for you too!! I still can’t believe it!
Post # 11
I get asked this question all the time too and then when I reply that we’re pretty sure we’re only going to have one, 90% of the people tell me I can’t do that. : It’s amazing the pressures other people can put on us, especially with such a personal thing.
@Jenn23: Love this reply! lol
Post # 12
@panterapeach: UGh. Peopele need to remove their feet from their mouths. Can’t they let you have your first baby and enjoy him or her before they are asking you about number 2.
Post # 13
@Jenn23: I love the response too!
People just plain don’t think. It’s like the people who come up to a pregnant person and say, “Wow…you’re getting big!” Thanks Captain Obvious…I hadn’t noticed.
Post # 14
@panterapeach: Diminished Ovarian Reserve can kiss our *****! 🙂 ha!
@chrispygal: They tell you that you can’t do that?! Oh my gosh…that is nuts! lol
Post # 15
@Jenn23: I know right!! “Diminish This! *gives the finger* lol!
@chrispygal: ugh people SUCK, I have had this response as well, like it’s a crime or something to have an only child.
@2PeasinaPod: I think we need a free pass to smack people when they say stupid stuff like that!
Post # 16
ooooooooooooooh Lord…..I am rubbing my forehead right now becauase this stresses me out. People can be so nosy & inconsiderate. I feel for you…..sorry love.