Post # 1
this is a rant im sorry i just need to get this out of my system. i was at work last night i work 3 pm to midnight 6 days a week. i recieved a call from my sister whom i just met last summer. we were seperated when i was 6 years old she was 8 years old. i found and met her after 16 years. i thankfully was adopted into a chrsitian family and have had a decent life. i found out i had a neice and nephew whom i am just in love with!!!! well unfortunalty my sister is not emitionaly,physically, or fiancially stable. i send a couple hundred a month and send care packackages for the kids with clothes, diapers, wipe ect…. well i recieved a call from CPS last night that my neice and nephew have been removed as my sister had been allowing her boyfriend to hit them. my neice has bruises and welts all over her body. she is 2 years old and my nephew just turned 1.he also has bruises on him. they have been taken to the hospital once they were removed. my sister was arrested and is now awaiting trial this week. as my sister was never adopted i am her only family. Of course my self and being in the system from when i was 2 until 6 years old i have been a wreck. i live in new mexico and they are in los angeles ca i dont even know where to begin. ive gone to my local cps office and they are no help and the case worker is not calling me back!!!!!! im soo stressed out . im only 23 i dont have kids nor do i even know how to change a diaper much less take care of 1 and2 year old!!!! on the other hand i am excited as i know i can give them a better home with love with me and my fiance!!!! but we may have to push our wedding back due to all this!!! if my fellow bees can please keep us in your prayers i would appreciate it.
Post # 3
Oh no, I am very sorry, what a terrible situation. I will definitely keep your family and those poor kids in my thoughts and prayers.
Post # 4
Oh my goodness honey… I have no idea how you should proceed, but I will certainly pray that you figure it out!! I am so sorry for your stress, and your niece and nephew are so blessed to have someone like you to care so much for them. Good luck and please keep us posted.
Post # 5
First off, if you want to do this, talk it out completely with your Fiance. My Fiance and I did something similar with my sister’s son. It can be an extremely stressful time and you will need the love and support of each other. We didn’t have to push our wedding back, but had to cut back on a few things. I’m only 23 too, but felt I needed to step in and could do a better job. Make sure that you prepare yourself mentally as much as possible. Find out what will happen with the children and expect them to have some emotional issues because of such a change. It can work out well for you! I don’t want to sound like I’m being discouraging.
Post # 6
Wow, what an intense situation, you will definitely be in my prayers. Whatever happens I wish the best for you, your niece and nephew although they don’t realize it yet they are very blessed to have someone who cares for them so much.
Post # 7
Wow. This must be incredibly bittersweet for you. I can’t even imagine. I just want to say that if you do decide to take these two beautiful, innocent children under your wing, you’re being incredbily selfless. This is an amazing gift to give to two deserving children. But, yes, like what others said, you must talk it over with your Fiance. This is a HUGE life decision. I have a two year old daughter & she sure can be a handful sometimes. But do I regret ever having her? No, of course not. She is my life. If you and your Fiance agree to this, know that you’re doing these children a HUGE favor and helping them to enjoy their lives in a home that can love them like the other one didn’t. Good luck.
Post # 8
Wow, Firstly, I’m so sorry. I know that this hurts on so many levels. Secondly, THANK YOU and Thank you to your Fiance for being open to provide a better life for her kids. Like @ankdance21: make sure you really talk and pray about it. Since you’re asking for prayers I’m assuming your Christian and have faith, so trust in God and he’ll give y’all the strength and blessings you need. I’ll keep you in mine as well.
Post # 9
You have a beautiful heart!! Good luck
Post # 10
Absolutely keeping you in prayer and so touched and impressed with your reaction! Too many children ar ein the forster care system for very similar circumstances because no one would step up, put their own agenda aside and take care of those children.
KUDOS to you and God bless you!
Post # 11
I just wanted to say I’m so glad those children are safe.
If CPS isn’t being helpful, I did a Google search and maybe you should contact this agency in your town called Family & Youth Inc http://www.fyinm.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=96&Itemid=27
I’m not sure if they can help you but they may be able to lend some support and point you in the right direction.
Also I agree with @ankdance in that you and your Fiance really need to talk this through and talk about how this will change your life and his and your relationship.
I also just wanted to say what a wonderful thing you are doing by taking these babies in and giving them a loving, stable and safe environment, every child deserves that.
Post # 12
@babebabe06: You are going to have a battle on your hands trying to get those kids in your care. Unfortunately, even legal grandparents of the kids have to jump through tons of hoops to get custody of kids that were apprehended from parents. Since you were adopted, you will have to legally prove that you are related, and your sister would have to make a statement that she considers you to be her next of kin, and that she consents to the kids going into your care. You will need to have home visits, etc before they are put in your care. You might want to get a lawyer to help you through all of this. Even when she goes to trial, the kids will only be your temporarily, because your sister will be able to petition to get them back once she is completed whatever sentence that they give her. I will keep you in my thoughts, because this is going to be a long process for you. I hope it can all work out in your favor.
Post # 13
First off (((hugs))).
ankdance21 has made some good points.
You need to contact LA county cps. They are the ones who removed the children, so they are the ones in control.
If you are serious about taking the children into your home, tell them you are the children’s aunt, you have a relationship with them (and their mother) and you are willing to take care of them.
There is some kinship support available (Kin-Gap) for kinship legal guardians in California. Here’s the link for specific information: http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/cfsweb/pg1354.htm I’m thinking (but not positive) that because the children are from California, this assistance would be avilable.
I know that many California children have been placed in out-of-state kinship homes–the term is kinship care, so I hope this will be the case for you.
The process can be frustrating because you are dealing with a bureaucracy. But the children are certainly worth it. Best wishes.
Post # 14
Do not get a lawyer now. If cps finds you have a lawyer, they will play hardball. Please give the system a chance first. California has been really trying (and successful) in placing children in relative care homes. In my county, we have an over 70% placement rate in relative care (that’s of all children coming into care). Yes, it may take a little while because of the legal process that must be followed, but keep in mind that right now, the children are safe. The main focus of cps is what is in the best interest of the child.
Each case is different, and cps may offer your sister resources to reunify with her children. Once her court date has passed, you will have more information.
Make contact with LA county cps. They are your best resource right now.
Post # 15
thank you everyone ive een able to calm down thankfully as ive just been a crying mess. ive been in constant contact with the cps worker handlng the claim. we are working on ICPC to get them over to new mexico with me. my fiance prayed we have talked and we feel this is the right thing to do. we are in a difficult position as we both work full time and have school. but i know we can do it!!! i also spoke to my sister as she was in the holding cell about what happened and what the nexts steps will be. I know my sister loves her babies but she knows i will love them and take care of them until she gets her life together. ive met with YCDF here in las cruces nm, they were no help though, and i have to wait till tuesday to do mine and my fiances finger prints and background checks. The cps worker is trying to keep my neice and nephew together at this time but if this is drawn out they may have to be seperated, which breaks my heart as this is what happened to me and my sister when we were little. im just very stressed my work is not helping me in anyway so i am taking an occurence which is a strike against me basically at work and looks neg on my work porfolio. FMLA was denied to me. i have cleaned and baby proofed my house thus far awaiting to see when theyll do the home inspection. thank god for my mom as she has gone through the system when i was adopted. she will be driving to los angeles with me this coming week for the court hearings, to see my sister in jail and clean out her apt. which is a whole nother concern as my sister doesnt work and lives off the welfare and cash aid and food stamps that she recieves from the kids from CA. im now scared when she is released she will be homeless. she has no friends or family out there just that dead beat boyfriend of hers who ran from the police. i will post updates as i learn what else is happening. my neice and nephew have been released from the hospital but all the injuires have been documented and are doing ok for now and have been crying for my sister a lot.
Post # 16
Wow – I can’t imagine what you (and those kids) must be going through but I hope that everything works out and they’re able to come to NM with you and your FI!