(Closed) my whole life just changed last night

posted 10 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Oh no, I am very sorry, what a terrible situation.  I will definitely keep your family and those poor kids in my thoughts and prayers. 

Post # 4
1032 posts
Bumble bee

Oh my goodness honey… I have no idea how you should proceed, but I will certainly pray that you figure it out!! I am so sorry for your stress, and your niece and nephew are so blessed to have someone like you to care so much for them. Good luck and please keep us posted.

Post # 5
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

First off, if you want to do this, talk it out completely with your Fiance. My Fiance and I did something similar with my sister’s son. It can be an extremely stressful time and you will need the love and support of each other. We didn’t have to push our wedding back, but had to cut back on a few things. I’m only 23 too, but felt I needed to step in and could do a better job. Make sure that you prepare yourself mentally as much as possible. Find out what will happen with the children and expect them to have some emotional issues because of such a change. It can work out well for you! I don’t want to sound like I’m being discouraging.

Post # 6
91 posts
Worker bee

Wow, what an intense situation, you will definitely be in my prayers. Whatever happens I wish the best for you, your niece and nephew although they don’t realize it yet they are very blessed to have someone who cares for them so much.

Post # 7
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow. This must be incredibly bittersweet for you. I can’t even imagine. I just want to say that if you do decide to take these two beautiful, innocent children under your wing, you’re being incredbily selfless. This is an amazing gift to give to two deserving children. But, yes, like what others said, you must talk it over with your Fiance. This is a HUGE life decision. I have a two year old daughter & she sure can be a handful sometimes. But do I regret ever having her? No, of course not. She is my life. If you and your Fiance agree to this, know that you’re doing these children a HUGE favor and helping them to enjoy their lives in a home that can love them like the other one didn’t. Good luck.

Post # 8
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow, Firstly, I’m so sorry. I know that this hurts on so many levels. Secondly, THANK YOU and Thank you to your Fiance for being open to provide a better life for her kids. Like 

View original reply
@ankdance21: make sure you really talk and pray about it. Since you’re asking for prayers I’m assuming your Christian and have faith, so trust in God and he’ll give y’all the strength and blessings you need.  I’ll keep you in mine as well. 

Post # 9
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You have a beautiful heart!! Good luck

Post # 10
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Absolutely keeping you in prayer and so touched and impressed with your reaction! Too many children ar ein the forster care system for very similar circumstances because no one would step up, put their own agenda aside and take care of those children.

KUDOS to you and God bless you!

Post # 11
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I just wanted to say I’m so glad those children are safe.

If CPS isn’t being helpful, I did a Google search and maybe you should contact this agency in your town called Family & Youth Inc http://www.fyinm.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=96&Itemid=27

I’m not sure if they can help you but they may be able to lend some support and point you in the right direction.

Also I agree with @ankdance in that you and your Fiance really need to talk this through and talk about how this will change your life and his and your relationship.

I also just wanted to say what a wonderful thing you are doing by taking these babies in and giving them a loving, stable and safe environment, every child deserves that.

Post # 12
2560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@babebabe06: You are going to have a battle on your hands trying to get those kids in your care. Unfortunately, even legal grandparents of the kids have to jump through tons of hoops to get custody of kids that were apprehended from parents. Since you were adopted, you will have to legally prove that you are related, and your sister would have to make a statement that she considers you to be her next of kin, and that she consents to the kids going into your care. You will need to have home visits, etc before they are put in your care. You might want to get a lawyer to help you through all of this. Even when she goes to trial, the kids will only be your temporarily, because your sister will be able to petition to get them back once she is completed whatever sentence that they give her. I will keep you in my thoughts, because this is going to be a long process for you. I hope it can all work out in your favor.

Post # 13
581 posts
Busy bee

First off (((hugs))).  

ankdance21 has made some good points.

You need to contact LA county cps. They are the ones who removed the children, so they are the ones in control.

If you are serious about taking the children into your home, tell them you are the children’s aunt, you have a relationship with them (and their mother) and you are willing to take care of them. 

There is some kinship support available (Kin-Gap) for kinship legal guardians in California.  Here’s the link for specific information:  http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/cfsweb/pg1354.htm    I’m thinking (but not positive) that because the children are from California, this assistance would be avilable.

I know that many California children have been placed in out-of-state kinship homes–the term is kinship care, so I hope this will be the case for you.

The process can be frustrating because you are dealing with a bureaucracy.  But the children are certainly worth it.  Best wishes.




Post # 14
581 posts
Busy bee

Do not get a lawyer now.  If cps finds you have a lawyer, they will play hardball.  Please give the system a chance first.  California has been really trying (and successful) in placing children in relative care homes.  In my county, we have an over 70% placement rate in relative care (that’s of all children coming into care).  Yes, it may take a little while because of the legal process that must be followed, but keep in mind that right now, the children are safe.  The main focus of cps is what is in the best interest of the child. 

Each case is different, and cps may offer your sister resources to reunify with her children.  Once her court date has passed, you will have more information.

Make contact with LA county cps.  They are your best resource right now.

Post # 16
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow – I can’t imagine what you (and those kids) must be going through but I hope that everything works out and they’re able to come to NM with you and your FI!

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