(Closed) My Wonderful Big Sister is Now Married…I’m a mess.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper


It sounds like you are still grieving the loss of your grandmother.  I am sorry for your loss.  There are lots of changes within your social circle.  Sounds like you could use a few deep breaths and carry on.  Everything in it’s own time.  🙂

Post # 4
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MsMonkey: Aw hon, I’m so sorry about the loss of your grandma and the tough time you and your family must be going through. 

As for the relationship worries, I’d recommend taking a deep breath and relaxing on the subject. Three years is not a huge amount of time when you’re 23. I wouldn’t pressure your fiance into setting an “engaged by” date. I know I was not ready to think about getting married at 23 and would’ve been freaked out if my husband pressured me to set any sort of deadline at that age. (FYI: we got engaged when we were 25 and married at 26. I wouldn’t trade those two extra years for anything.)

You will NOT be waiting until you’re 40. Focus on your relationship and the rest will follow.

Post # 5
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I know how you’re feeling, except I was the big sister at my little sister’s wedding.  It’s hard when so many changes are happening in your family (we had a death as well) and then on top of that, you need to be the support, all while dealing with the fact that it’s not your turn yet.  Yup.  Been there. 🙂

The good news is, you’re probably over the hardest part.  For me, once my sister’s wedding was over, I didn’t feel like we would compete for wedding stuff.  So, when Darling Husband did propose, I felt like finally it was my turn and really enjoyed wedding planning.

I’m sorry about the loss of your grandma.  That’s so difficult, and I hope your grandpa lives long enough to see you get married as well.  I know how hard it is to know and worry they won’t be there.  Remember that they’ll always be there in your hearts and that they live on through you.

Post # 6
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sounds like you had a day full of a LOT of different emotions….missing grandma, people asking you and your SO about your own relationship, your sister is married!, etc. I would just take a day or two to relax. It’s ok to feel the way you felt…just take a little time for yourself now!

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