(Closed) My world is crumbling :(

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m so sorry hun…I really don’t have advice, but if she is anything like my 20-year old sister in law, she will realize pretty quickly that HER world will crumble without you and your mom. Honestly, my mom went through the same thing when SIL made my brother and the baby move out of my parents house after a fight. She figured out pretty quickly that she needed a lot of help, and moved back in a few weeks later. I do believe your sister will come around. Try and stay strong for you and your ma =)

Post # 5
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh wow that sounds exactly like my “step sister”! She just turned 20 and her son is 4 months old. she does the exact same things.. I know how hard it is to watch it happen. I take care of him as much as I can but I cannot buy him what he needs because my Fiance can only support me and our daughter. I am so scared for what will happen when I leave =( I will be praying for you and your family, I don’t know what I would do in your situation…

Post # 6
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

oh no, I am so sorry for what’s happening. I am also scared for the baby too! Is he and your sister safe? I hope there’re not in any kind of trouble right now.

I really don’t have fair advice to you since I am not familiar with situations like this or with welfare in your country. But It came to me that while she’s alone with the child if someone finds out or thinks that your sister is not taking care of her baby or not capable of it, then report to the authority of something, then, you and your family will have to face a big obstacle…?

I hope she’ll come back soon.

Post # 7
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@LovingMyMisterBarger: I am so sorry! your post brought me to tears as well, growing up with a parent that is a social worker, i have heard about alot of situations that are similar. Great people caring for their family and only getting hurt because a family member is inconsiderate and immature. I guess i am assuming that the father is not involved in your nephew’s life. It sounds like you and your mom have been immensely supportive physically, mentally and financially. Unfortunately, your sister is very young and probably wasnt ready to have a baby. She had you and your mom to fall on and you guys willingly/lovingly caught her with both arms open! You guys sound like amazing people! I understand that you are hurt and very worried for them, you have a serious right to be angry as well. However, it sounds like your sister has ALWAYS had someone to fall on and wont ever figure out how good she really had it until she is fully responsible for herself and the baby. Being only 19, she has never had a chance to learn to take care of herself, let alone an infant. Well the wake-up call may be on its way. Now whether thats the right thing for her to do is an entirely different story! You and your mom sound like very supportive, mature, responsible people and if shes smart she will not continue to treat you guys like this or put the baby in the middle of a family dispute. She is getting public assistance and financially this will help her care for him. My mom is a social worker and people like her make sure that a baby has what he needs. However,the physical well-being of the baby may be at stake if your sister is only using him to as a tool to manipulate you and your mom. You guys may consider talking to your sister about retaining custody of him? Granted, that takes away your sister’s bargaining tool to make you and your mom feel bad but….it really sounds like he needs you guys to care him. If you start talking about custody maybe it would scare her and make her consider looking at the situation differently? Thats a very big step but ultimately his well-being is more important….. 

Post # 8
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

@LovingMyMisterBarger: If she is staying in housing with felons and addicts, would it be possible to alert DSS (or CPS, or your local version of such?) to the situation?  The laws vary from state to state, but if you can prove neglect or that the child has been put in harms way, your local child protective services may be able to step in and take the child.

While I hate to suggest such extreme measures, it might be the wake-up call your sister needs.  Also, at least in my state, immediate family are given the opportunity to take custody of the child while the parent gets the help they need.  If the parent does not finish a treatment plan, family could adopt.

I will be praying for you and your family, and especially that little baby.

Post # 10
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LovingMyMisterBarger: I don’t understand what goes on in my “step sisters” head either so, here I am 17 years old taking care of 2 little ones LOL it kinda works out for me because I didn’t have to give birth to the second 😉 but I am so worried for him =(

Post # 11
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

Oh my goodness. I agree with all PPs who mentioned a change of custody. I would do whatever steps it takes to make that happen, since she clearly has no thought or care for her child. I’m surprised she even took him with her when she left, and her behavior indicates that he is nothing but a burden to her. This is why I am pro-choice. There are people out there who do not need to have a baby. Why bring a child into the world if you can’t and won’t care for it?Thank goodness you and your mother are there. Most aren’t so fortunate. 

Post # 13
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

@LovingMyMisterBarger: She changed her mind?? Oh yeah, I bet she really cares about him. Not changing his diaper, letting him sit in his own filth, letting him cry out in hunger until she gets off the phone!? That is neglect and abuse and I would not hesitate to call CPS on her ass. I am getting angry just typing this.

Post # 15
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LovingMyMisterBarger: well thank goodness for what you and your mother have been able to do, I really hope she brings him back very soon. I pray that all works out!

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