(Closed) My world is crumbling :(

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@LovingMyMisterBarger: wow I am sorry but your last post is the same thing going on here… scary similar

Post # 17
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I am so sorry you’re going through this.  It sounds like your sister needs some parenting classes because she truly is bordering on neglect of her son and it seems that the only reason she isn’t is because you and your mother are around.  I really feel like she’ll be back because it doesn’t seem like she’s capable of taking care of the child on her own.

Post # 19
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

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@LovingMyMisterBarger: I can understand that the baby may be her last link to someone she cares about, so it may be hard for her to let that go.  It could also be that she is using the baby to get to you and your mother.  You would worry if she ran off on her on, but not like you are worrying now that she has the baby with you. 

Is her phone on or is it going straight to voicemail? Do you think she would respond to “threats”?  Maybe you could tell her that you are concerned and that you would like to meet up with her for lunch just to talk, to make sure that she and the baby are alright.  If she does not respond, you could tell her to please respond by such and such time, or you will file a missing persons report on her.  She may not respond well to that sort of pressure, but it is one possibility to consider.

Post # 19
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee

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@LovingMyMisterBarger: So she is using her child because he is the only way to get to a man who wants nothing to do with her or his child? That is sick and sad. I don’t care how much she loves him. Love means nothing when you let your child sit in a filthy diaper. Get him out of there NOW.

Post # 21
Member
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@LovingMyMisterBarger: I’ll be keeping you family in my prayers. That is so terrible. We’ve gone through something similar, and it came down to my aunt and uncle going to the court and getting a temporary emergency custody order for their grandson (my cousins son). It may be something your family can look into, especially if she’s not properly caring for your nephew. It may still be worth it to call CPS currently to start a file/documentation, and if it’s long enough of a time you could perhaps even file a missing persons report. I know that most phones have a 911 tracking ability, but I do not know what circumstances allow them to activate it to find the phone/person.

I hope that she comes around and gets back home where there are people loving and taking care of the baby. I really think your parents (or you, depending on stability of housing, where you’re at right now, etc) should speak with a lawyer about getting the emergency custody order through the courts. My cousin did not know that he didn’t have custody until that night when the police came and told him it was jail or rehab. If she’s around drugs or crime, it may be possible to do.

Post # 22
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Keep us updated, we will be hoping for a safe and happy return!

Post # 24
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Geez.  My step-sister had 3 kids, and she’d leave them all with me and her mother to take care of while she “went to the store” and didn’t return till after 3 AM, if at all.  Her kids were an infant, a 4 years old and an 8 year old at the time – she was 24. We’d get them fed, help with homework, bathe them and put them to bed, meaning I ended up on the couch when “mom” didn’t come home, and then take the to school the next morning (yes, she did this on school nights).  It was ridiculous, her kids often didn’t have decent clothes unless their grandmother purchased them, and at 17 I was a live-in babysitter.  I’ve seen people who’ve planned and gotten their lives ready before trying for parenthood have to try for YEARS before starting their families… and then there are people who have kids without a second thought.  Grr. 

I hope your visit with the attorney helps you and your mother get custody of your nephew.  I had a friend in high school take over custody of her little sister’s baby, as the sister was hooked on herion – bad for everyone.  It broke the older sister’s heart to allow the baby to go back once the little sister had completed rehab and proven herself a fit mother, but then she and her husband found they were pregnant and it helped a little. 

I just mention that to let you know that even if you and your mom take over custod now, if your sister improves, she can always be allowed to ahve her sons back should she want him.  Right now, she sounds younger than her years, and like she needs to do a lot of growing before she can take care of herself, let alone a baby.  I’m not knocking her, I just agree with most people on here that the boy’s well-being is more important overall than hers at this time.  I hope things work out for your family.

Post # 25
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

If you don’t hear from her within the next few hours, I would fill out a missing persons report. It’s not something you WANT to do because it can entail a lot of drama, but she’s big enough to take of herself, whereas your nephew is not. I say DO WHAT’S IN HIS BEST INTEREST and don’t give up!

I hope things get better!

Post # 26
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

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@LovingMyMisterBarger: Oh hun I’m so sorry =( I know how you feel. My sister is mentally ill and decided she’d never be alone if she had children….(that’s another story). My best suggestion is to call the police (non-emergency line) or missing persons and explain that you are concerned for the baby’s sake. If you have the license plate number all the better.  

I hope things work out, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. *hugs*

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