Post # 1
I am in need of some serious help at this point, and I really hope someone can relate to this. After being 19 days late for my period, and feeling funny, and not like myself, I decided to take a pregnancy test. After 2 and a half years of TTC I became quite hopeless. I was also diagnosed with endometriosis and was quite confident that I was infertile. I made an appt with an OB/GYN and have been waiting over a year for this appointment. This appointment is finally tomorrow – which we were going to discuss options for me. Well now, I am pregnant. The test was positive last night. I cried so much, I did not know what to do with myself. I did my due date estimation, which is October 20th. I am getting married December 7th. I knew if there was a slight chance I could get pregnant, it would be my luck that it would be now. I am terrified, scared, sad, angry, upset, nervous, self conscious, but happy and not knowing how to show it. My Fiance wanted soo bad to be happy last night, but I jut cried. We have wanted this for a long time, and I know I should be happy. I have been looking forward to getting married my entire life, and this is not how I envisioned it. I now have to worry about working my butt off to lose weight (which always goes straight to my face), I have to worry about what I will do with the baby, and I can not go on the honeymoon I have always dreamed about. I am torn, and have been crying so much, although I know I should be happy (which like I said I am but I am so in shock and in disbelief that I can not show it)
If anyone has had a baby, that is around 5’1” and around 105lbs, please help. I am soo concerned about weight gain, and I have already baught the dress of my dreams. Is it safe to bring a baby that young to a wedding? How do I do this??
Post # 3
Congrats on your pregnancy.
Weight loss: you’ll have 3 months. The people I know who have had babies all looked like their pre-pregnancy selves within 3 months or less. You’ll be able to fit into your dress.
Baby at wedding: totally fine to bring him/her at that age. Ask a family member to watch baby for you during the ceremony.
Honeymoon: what about taking a trip before the wedding? Like a babymoon/honeymoon combo? And then maybe for your 1 year anniversary, you could go on another trip and leave the baby at home with a family member?
Post # 4
Also, you are so lucky. You got pregnant when you thought you couldn’t! And you’re getting married to your Fiance. I know it isn’t the timing you imagined, but you’re lucky. My worst nightmare is something much, much worse than this….
Post # 5
My friend who is about your size had a baby and lost the weight really fast. Within a couple months (and not working out, I don’t think), it barely looked like she had a baby. People say breastfeeding helps you lose weight, but she didn’t do that either. I think it also depends on your age. I think she was 27 when she had her son.
Will someone you trust watch your baby so you can go on a honeymoon?
Either way, you should be celebrating. You’re getting everything you’ve always dreamed of… a wedding, a great husband, and the baby you thought you’d never have. The timing isn’t exactly as you would have wished, but think about what you ARE getting that you wished for!
Post # 6
@Lindsay22: First take a deep breath… You need some time to process all this. Sometimes things happen at the strangest times, but this is something you wanted. 1. Yes you can bring the baby to the wedding, he/she will be a month and a half old, so it shouldn’t be a big issue, if anything designate someone to help you take care of him/her. 2. Can you make adjustments to your honeymoon? or postpone it until the baby is older and you will feel comfortable leaving him/her with someone while you go on the trip? 3. If you eat well and excersise regularly you can bounce back fairly easily from the baby weight. Do not limit your intake or calorie count because then you may not take in enough nutrients, but if you eat a balanced diet you should be just fine. 4. If you have already bought the dress of your dreams, wait until the very last minute to get it altered. Find a good seamstress/ alterations department that would be willing and able to alter the dress in a shorter time frame. You can make this work. Big hugs and congratulations to you!
Post # 7
@stillme: Thank you for the wonderful advice. I am not so much worried about having someone watch the baby, because I will have the grandparents of the baby there, and all kinds of family there to do so. I just worry about people touching the baby, due to it being flu season in december, and mostly the loud music.
@NYCowgirl: I feel better knowing that it is do-able. I have never worked out a day in my life, I am going to be honest, I am quite lazy, but not only that I work a lot. I have to accept that I am going to have to get off my bum and exert myself in order to fit into my dress. Thanks you for the wonderful words.
Post # 8
could you move your wedding up to say June?
Post # 9
Totally doable, and congratulations!! The biggest thing I can say about my wedding is that even though I had been imagining it my whole life, and looking forward to it, and planning everything perfectly.. it really just was ONE day, and after it had passed it seemed incredibly insignificant in comparison to the rest of my life.
Try not to get too wrapped up in what having this baby may change because once your wedding day has passed I assure you, you’ll be thinking “I was worried about THAT?”.
As stillme showed, each scenario can be managed and although it’s not exactly what you had planned it can still all be great experiences.
Plus, you’ll have the cutest flower girl/ring bearer on the block :).
ETA- one of my bridesmaids had her 1 month old at our reception, she asked a friend to watch the baby since she was at the head table for dinner (so was her husband) and busy and he slept through pretty much the whole night. She kept him there a few hours and fed him when he needed it and then a family member took him home for the rest of the evening.
Post # 10
@Lindsay22: Yeah, I know what you mean. I don’t know what your venue is like, but maybe you could hire a babysitter to watch the baby in your hotel room or, if that’s not feasible, in a separate room somewhere at the venue. You could bring a pack n play for the baby to sleep in. That way the baby can hang out at the wedding a little bit and then go to sleep when it wants to.
Post # 11
@Lindsay22: First off, congrats!! Life doesn’t always happen as we plan it, but I think that once this all sinks in, you’ll be very happy. Big shock, big change… but it’ll all work out.
Post # 12
When it comes to losing weight after pregnancy there is a variety of factors. Every woman is different. Some lose it right away and some struggle with it for awhile. I am 5’3″. I was 110 pounds pre-pregnancy. I gained a whopping 40 pounds while pregnant.
2.5 months post-partum and at 115 pounds now however…I gained a full cup in my breasts. So I had to buy all new bras. I also went up a pant size. I have curves now so I guess that is a good thing…
As far as the baby. Like I said, she is 2.5 months and I have taken her to a lot of social events. I think the only thing that could make it difficult is if the baby hates bottles and prefers the breast as mine does. She is very dependent on me and she is not one of those sleep all day babies. She wants my attention and she wants it now!! lol In that case it is usually best to have the baby with someone else and away from you, because once they see or smell you, game over. 😮
Either way, I really don’t think you should worry about it. Like others said, it is manageable and your wedding will be perfect regardless. Enjoy that little bundle, they grow up so fast! 🙂
Post # 13
I have never had children, so no real advice to give, but I wanted to give my congrats! The timing is less than ideal, but it was obviously meant to be. You are starting a family!! So exciting 🙂
Post # 14
Congrats! And my only advice about what’s been said above is to allow yourself to feel whatever you need to. These are huge life changes and it’s okay to feel sad/confused/happy all at once even if it’s something you’ve wanted forever.
Post # 15
@Lindsay22: I have a friend who got into a very tight bridesmaid dress 19 days after giving birth. She looked great. During her pregnancy, she was healthy and continued working out and never went overboard on eating.
Post # 16
Thank you everyone for your kind words, and your wonderful advice. It makes me feel a lot better. unfortunately moving the wedding day is not an option for me, as the city I live in is quite small, and options are pretty limited, as far as weddings go. And because of that, everything “wedding” books up rather quickly. Usually upwards of 1-2 years in advance. So..unfortauntely that is not an option. I just have to accept that I have to work my butt off to get back to my original weight, accept the fact that I do want a family, and also accept that this is less than ideal, however, this is the way it is. Because I only found out yesterday, I still have not told anybody except for the Bee World. I think I will feel a bit better once I tell my family (who will be more than excited) I also think I will feel better once I see the OB/GYN tomorrow. I am a little apprehensive to see her, as I have heard that she is a butcher when it comes to C-Sections, but because I have had this appointment for over a year, I might as well go tell her that I am pregnant! instead of, I cant get pregnant. Thanks again everyone, and more and more advice, stories of other people and words of wisdom are certainly welcome!!