Post # 1
Some of you may remember a couple of posts where my SO was going to buy me a mystry present and he was really excited about it.
I guessed that it was going to be a pair of GHDs and he didn’t say no so I commented how I must have been right as he didn’t say it wasn’t that. He replied “I didn’t say it wasn’t a diamond ring either!”
This gave me a glimmer of hope and whilst I was trying to convince myself it couldn’t possibly be an e-ring as he can’t afford it I couldn’t help but get quite excited.
He was out today and a parcel for him arrived (clearly not a ring as the box was far to big). I texted him to tell him he had a parcel and he rang and excitedly told me to open it. Inside was a pair of GHDs! I don’t want people to think for a second that I am not grateful. It is a wonderful present and something that I really wanted. I am so touched that he listened to me talking about it and went out his way to get something I wanted as a surprise.
However, when I saw the GHDs I must admit that my stomach sank and I must admit I was a little disappointed. He was so excited on the phone and I tried my best to be grateful, happy and excited. I put on about how happy I was and think I have hid my disappointment!
Has anyone else tried to hide disappointment? How did you manage it?
Post # 3
I would just be honest with him, and say that the comment about the diamond ring got your hopes up. And then ask if he also thinks your relationship is headed towards an engagement.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
I don’t often get surprises from BF so I rarely have to deal with that kind of disappointment (yay? lol), and whe he does get me something he’s excellent at keeping completely quiet – a la the massive cuddly penguin that rocked up in an amazon box yesterday ^^
I don’t think you need to hide your disappointment, it kind of sounds like you were actually hoping it would be GHDs before he made the ring comment? Hold onto that 🙂 Just let him know gently that you love love love your gift (cause you do) but that the ring comment threw you for a second and that your hopes were unfairly raised when they wouldn’t have been otherwise, would it be possible for him to refrain from such things in the future?
I’m sure you’ll feel better soon 🙂 x
Post # 6
@LilMonkey: I remember your post. I didn’t know what a GHD was. Positively, you got it. I’ve never gotten that sort of disappointment but I can say that it is obvious that your SO knows that you are waiting on a proposal. After all, he used it to through you off.
I believe that it will still come.
Post # 7
I would ask him to make joking about engagement rings off limits. He knows you want to be engaged, and he’s fucking with you because he also probably knows that you’re “not allowed” to talk about engagements. I would tell him flat out that joking about things that can possibly be diamond rings really hurts you, and to stop. Maybe he’ll get the memo that you’re really serious about this!
Post # 8
Sorry it wasn’t the sparkly present you’d hoped for but what I wouldn’t do is tarnish the pleasure of him giving and you getting the GHDs with any comments about hoping for a ring. That way you are unintentionally likely to come across as ungrateful and not necessarily move any engagement rings any nearer.
But for sure, in a couple of weeks time, there’s nothing wrong in tactfully suggesting that jokes about “I didn’t say it wasn’t an engagement ring” are rather unfair and hurtful.
Post # 10
@mrspinesol: GHDs are very expensive hair straighteners.
bees. as always, you’re amazing!
thanks for allowing me to vent and for your comments, support and opinions. I was all set to have a talk with him about how his comment was inappropriate etc. but then he came home and was so happy and pleased with himself that he uhhad managed to get the money together to get me such a nice gift that I just couldn’t bare to.. I really don’t wasn’t to come across as ungrateful/make random present buying uncomfortable for him.
however, i do agree that his comment was still unthoughtful and out of order as he knows how I feel. but as I am strictly sticking to the SIUP i think I will leave it unlessi he makes any other comments and then pull him up on it and any future comments.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
@LilMonkey: Ha! I had to google what a pair of GHDs is (it turns out I totally own a GHD, but referring to it as a pair threw me off! I was thinking heels or something! ‘merica)
Anywho – hell yes to getting a GHD straightener! They are ah-mazing!! And if he brought up the ring thing, then he knows you are expecting a proposal soon! Just relax and let him do his thing. Waiting is super hard and it can suck. I remember having full days where I spent the entire day crying because I felt like since he wasn’t proposing he dind’t love me.
Honestly, I don’t know why or how we let ourselves get that down about a proposal! He obviously loves you, he’s showering you in gifts :p Just relax.
Call him and tell him how much you love your present and try fixing your hair in a new style or something to get your mind off of it. Maybe jokingly say “I thought it was going to be a diamond! You had me fooled!” and see how he responds.
Don’t tell him how bad you feel, because he’s probably expecting you to be super stoked about your gift. There were a lot of days pre-proposal that I let waiting get me down, and looking back on it, I definitely should not have taken out my waiting woe’s on my SO. This is one of the most exciting times in your lives and relationship, so enjoy it and have patience!
Post # 12
I agree with @GoldfishPie: about making the jokes off limits. My husband made a comment once when we were out drinking with friends that included the word love before we had said I love you. I ended up yelling at him in the street that he couldn’t say stuff like that (we were both drunk), and I ended up yelling “I love you!” and he yelled back “I love you too!” So maybe the conversation about keeping the jokes to a minimum can lead you to a real conversation about a timeline.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
@LilMonkey: I knew you’d feel better! 😀 aren’t men just the cutest thing when they’ve gotten you a present? And especially when they actually know it’s a good one XD
I think your decision is a good one, hopefully next time he brings up engagement completely randomly so you can call him out on it as an isolated thing (or, lol, even better maybe he won’t do it again!)
Post # 14
@dancingriss: lol! I had an experience like that with “I love you.” I had been with my then bf for 4 months and we were out drinking (of course-that is always when shit goes down) and he goes “I could totally see myself falling in love with you.” I got pissed and yelled at him for saying that. I was like WTF don’t say that shit just tell me you love me when you do. haha. drunk/crazy tatertot came out that night.
Post # 15
GHD’s are not to be sniffed at – I’d love a pair!
Sorry he got your hopes up with the diamond ring comment though. I think sometimes they geniunely don’t realise what effect things like that have on us!
Post # 16
@Tatertot2003: haha yuuuup. there’s was a cop nearby in his car with the window cracked. we still joke to this day that he was probably rolling his eyes hardcore