(Closed) nagged and cried and it worked BUT

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

1. There is no way he would have proposed to you if he didn’t already want to get engaged

2. Stop being so hard on yourself…you are only human

3. I have found that many, many girls “nudge” and “cajole” their fiances into marriage. The only difference is that you are being more honest about it than the majority of women. Yes, for some women it is the romantic Cindarella surprise, but for many, many women a proposal is the product of a lot of prodding. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

4. CONGRATS! You are engaged to a man who loves you deeply.

Post # 18
Member
5669 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Did he already have the ring? If so then he was already planning on doing it whether you said anything or not.

Post # 19
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

Sorry you feel that way, but he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t want to do it. A woman cannot make a man do something he doesn’t want to do.(unless he’s a pushover)

Exactly what

View original reply
@jackndiane: said here: I have found that many, many girls “nudge” and “cajole” their fiances into marriage. The only difference is that you are being more honest about it than the majority of women. Yes, for some women it is the romantic Cindarella surprise, but for many, many women a proposal is the product of a lot of prodding. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Post # 20
Member
492 posts
Helper bee

I agree with many of the PP and don’t have much advice. Wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS….and ENJOY being engaged to the love of your life. **hugs**

Now get to planning your beautiful wedding.

Post # 21
Member
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

1. There is no way he would have proposed to you if he didn’t already want to get engaged

to be honest i dont agree, i know of 2 guys that were pressured into engagement/marriage by their GF’s who were louder and/or more assertive than the guy was

OP, whats done is done so start looking towards the future and let the past go –  no need to torture yourself and let it make your “now” unhappy. goodluck

Post # 22
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with you completely. I often wish my fiance and I had a cuter engagement story than “She said she’d kill me if I didn’t propose by our 3-year anniversary,” but that’s basically how it went down. Be patient, ladies–it’ll happen.

Post # 23
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Congrats on your engagement! I think he really wanted to marry you but just needed that little nudge to finally get him to do it.

Post # 24
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Mine happened the same way. I thought he’d propose over Christmas… nothing. So I figured, Oh, New Year’s Eve! Nothing. I sobbed and cried (I think I was pms’ing that week too, which didn’t help!) Valentine’s Day? Nothing. My birthday, later in February? Nothing. Lots of crying then, too.

Oh, did I mention that the man just cannot buy a decent present to save his life? Seriously. For Christmas he got me a copy of Microsoft Office. Last Christmas it was a new mouse. (He’s a software developer, so to him those were perfect presents.)

Finally, we were traveling to visit his family at Easter. He promised we’d be engaged before the trip, and was true to his word, but I also felt that I had somehow nagged him into it.

But the fact is, he’s just really not good at either planning or shopping. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get married… he just was perfectly with our day-to-day life.

I had to pressure him to set a date, too, and basically chose the date myself. Did you have the same experience?

Post # 25
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

unfortunately i think a lot of guys wouldnt actually think about it on their own, which is why you really have to nag. its not that they dont love you enough, or dont want to marry you..its that they wont take the initiative to propose.

i hope you start feeling better about it soon..i think a lot of girls know exactly what you are going through. some get the overly romantic guys that never have to be pushed..and some really need a good kick to get their brains into thinking like that

Post # 27
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

Some of these comments are making me cringe. You shouldn’t have to nag your boyfriend to propose.

View original reply
@sweetcarrie: I’m really glad that you posted here. Though it seems as if some still don’t get it, you are helping other waiting bees realize that nagging isn’t attractive or making your boyfriend want to propose any more than he did before. I think that even just getitng it out there makes you feel better. Let it go now and be excited for planning the wedding!

Post # 28
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply
@Oneeleven:I love your story.  Scenario A AND Scenario B are what makes it wonderful!

Post # 29
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was slightly worried that I’d nagged my bf into proposing as well. We talked and talked a lot about it, got excited, decided when we thought we wanted to get married and then he went for it. He just tells me that our timelines overlapped.

In the back of my mind I would have liked a suprise proposal, but it’s only a teensy part of our lives together and I’m much happier that he proposed (the alternative is that the guy lets it drag on for years and years and years and everyone around you keeps asking when?).

Post # 30
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Girlfriend, I pitched such a fit about not being engaged that my (then) boyfriend angrily stomped out of the apartment and returned 10 minutes later with the ring he had been hiding in our storage unit and proposed.

Not exactly the perfect engagement moment and I was soooooo embarassed about it that I have hardly told anyone (except, now, the entire internet world.) At first, I was SO upset about having ruined the proposal but honestly, more than 2 years later now, it’s a little bit funny and not anywhere near as upsetting as it was at the time…

I think you’ll feel better the further removed you are. And CONGRATULATIONS, you’re engaged!!!!

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