Post # 1
I’m older. 37 to be exact and I’ve written on here before how I’m not sure I’m going to change my name. Have you seen the checklist you have to accomplish in order to do this? WTF?!?
But I’ve come to the conclusion that I will more than likely keep my maiden name and hypenate it with FI’s last name.
But night I was speaking to Fiance on the phone who was still at work. He had called me and this is how the conversation went:
Fiance: I’m booking our honeymoon
Fiance: I’m filling in your information and I’ve already called US Airways and spoke with them about this so I’ve entered for you:
My Middle Name
HIS Last Name
When I heard him state this to me, I wasn’t quite sure how to feel or what to say. It was a VERY odd moment for me. And I didn’t like it for some reason. I never said anything to him because when I told him that I was waiting until AFTER our honeymoon to make all of the necessary changes, I could hear his tone slightly deflate. I just assumed this was something I would take care of after because I really don’t want to stress about it. Especially changing the passport and hoping it would be here in time for the honeymoon.
I don’t know why I struggle with this so much. Is anyone else struggling with this one too?
Post # 3
Me! I am having a really hard time with it. And I’m only 25! I’m really close to my dad and I was really close to my paternal grandfather (who died when I was a child). I love my crazy hard to pronounce name that people always ask about, because it is theirs. FI’s name is common and he is not close to his father at all (and neither am I). Not to mention the fact that I have two degrees in my name.
I keep waffling about what to do. What I’ll probably do is keep my last name as a second middle name and go by MyFirst MyLast HisLast at work.
What I’m considering doing though is keeping my name and letting people call me whatever they want. If people want to call me MyFirst HisLast in social situations that is fine, but officially I’d still be MyFirst MyLast.
Meh, I dunno.
Post # 4
I would definitely wait until after the honeymoon to make any name changes. Assuming you’ll be travelling directly after the wedding (or soon after) you won’t have time to get a new ID, passport, get your marriage certificate, go to the social security office, go to the DMV, wait for all those papers to come in etc. It takes a while and just logistically you’ll need to wait. Its normal for honeymooners to keep their name for travel documents.
Post # 5
EEK…is your honeymoon right after the wedding? I don’t think they will let you board unless the name on your DL/passport matches the one on your ticket (you probably know that already…didn’t mean to stress you out more)
In the short term, you should definitely make him understand that it is risky to change your name BEFORE honeymoon. But, obviously you all need to have a long discussion about this. And it is hard…I’m not changing my name (I get to tell him it’s for professional reasons, so that gives me a good cop out…but honestly, I doubt I’d do it anyway), and I’m surprised at how much that seems to bother him.
Why do things have to be so complicated?!?!
Post # 6
I am totally dealing with the same kind of situation. I always thought I would keep my last name and hyphenate it with my fiancé’s last name. However, my fiancé is very traditional and feels strongly about me just taking his name. It wouldn’t be so bad but my fiancé’s last name is VERY VERY common and I already know two girls whose name match my would be married name.
Anyways, your situation seems tricky. I would say talk to him about it and tell him that it would be best to address the name change after the honeymoon. Ultimately (this is the advice I’ve been getting) it is your name and one you have to live with, so choose what makes you happy.