Post # 1
Darned if you do, darned if you don’t.
I always planned on changing my name, never really thought much of it. But I didn’t do it right away, it took about 3 months. During that 3 months I was practically HOUNDED by people asking when/if I was going to change my name and WHY I hadn’t done it yet.
Then, I change my name (on DH’s bday, very sweet). And All the sudden people start talking down to me about it. I wish I had a quarter for every “You didn’t even get a hyphen??!” comment. Or a lecture on why I should have at least kept my maiden name for work or not switched it at all.
I won’t even go into the comments I get about how my maiden name sounded better..
Why are people so opinionated about this? I’ve never thought twice about anyone ELSE’s choice. Anyone else get a hard time??
Post # 3
I haven’t yet, but I’m anticipating some judgement. I’m very vocally a feminist in a very conservative area, and I’m sure people will think I’m a ‘poser’ for changing my name. The truth is, I just like his last name better and I want us and our kids to all have the same last name.
Hold your head high, though, changing your name or keeping it is your own choice and people can just shove it!
Post # 4
Nope, can’t win. 😛 Well, except that you’re doing what you want and that’s all that matters.
I thought about telling people we were going to both change our name to Deesnuts. Actually, wait – I did tell a couple of people that. But my fiance wouldn’t let me put it on our wedding website. After hearing that, nobody complained about what we’re actually doing.
Post # 5
I’ve socially changed my last name; email-verbally-etc…. but have yet to legally change it. I’m glad I’ve waited. On the date of our wedding I had decided to go First Middle His last…. but I’ve since realized I want to be First, My Last, His last.
Since I’ve changed socially already (referring to myself as his last) I guess I’ve negated any comments…. I don’t think people realize I haven’t legally changed yet, lol.
Post # 6
I changed my name, and was pretty quick about it (once we finally got our marriage certificates). It was sad to me, which I wasn’t expecting, to change my name, but people had already started calling me Mrs. HisLastName, and I haven’t really been asked about hyphenating or anything… except before our wedding, people would ask if I was changing my name, and Darling Husband would joke and say that he was taking my last name! I’m getting used to it, at least people pronounce my name correctly now…
Post # 7
@7SEVENJ9: That’s another point I forgot about. Most people made checks out to Mr. & Mrs. Hislastname without even asking if I was going to change it! I understand the sentimental gesture, but that’s a really big assumption!
Post # 8
No, you probably can’t win. 🙂 I’ve been married over 2 years on the sly, but we’re planning a formal engagement/wedding so that we can tell/celebrate with everyone. I didn’t change my name two years ago, and am not going to change it when we’re “publically” married, because I like my name as it is. I’m sure there will be some criticism and questions from my more conservative family members, and most definitely from his traditional English family, but as far as I’m concernd they will have to get over it. It’s my choice and it’s not like it hurts anyone else. Oh, and if we ever have kids, they’d have a double barreled last name!
Post # 9
No, we can’t win. Even a hyphen isn’t easy when it comes to the everyday pain-in-the-arse problems that come with it.