(Closed) Name change: can’t win? (vent)

posted 8 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I haven’t yet, but I’m anticipating some judgement. I’m very vocally a feminist in a very conservative area, and I’m sure people will think I’m a ‘poser’ for changing my name. The truth is, I just like his last name better and I want us and our kids to all have the same last name.

Hold your head high, though, changing your name or keeping it is your own choice and people can just shove it!

Post # 4
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Nope, can’t win.  😛  Well, except that you’re doing what you want and that’s all that matters.

I thought about telling people we were going to both change our name to Deesnuts.  Actually, wait – I did tell a couple of people that.  But my fiance wouldn’t let me put it on our wedding website.  After hearing that, nobody complained about what we’re actually doing.

Post # 5
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve socially changed my last name; email-verbally-etc…. but have yet to legally change it. I’m glad I’ve waited. On the date of our wedding I had decided to go First Middle His last…. but I’ve since realized I want to be First, My Last, His last.

 Since I’ve changed socially already (referring to myself as his last) I guess I’ve negated any comments…. I don’t think people realize I haven’t legally changed yet, lol. 

Post # 6
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I changed my name, and was pretty quick about it (once we finally got our marriage certificates). It was sad to me, which I wasn’t expecting, to change my name, but people had already started calling me Mrs. HisLastName, and I haven’t really been asked about hyphenating or anything… except before our wedding, people would ask if I was changing my name, and Darling Husband would joke and say that he was taking my last name! I’m getting used to it, at least people pronounce my name correctly now…

Post # 8
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

No, you probably can’t win. 🙂 I’ve been married over 2 years on the sly, but we’re planning a formal engagement/wedding so that we can tell/celebrate with everyone. I didn’t change my name two years ago, and am not going to change it when we’re “publically” married, because I like my name as it is. I’m sure there will be some criticism and questions from my more conservative family members, and most definitely from his traditional English family, but as far as I’m concernd they will have to get over it. It’s my choice and it’s not like it hurts anyone else. Oh, and if we ever have kids, they’d have a double barreled last name!

Post # 9
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No, we can’t win.  Even a hyphen isn’t easy when it comes to the everyday pain-in-the-arse problems that come with it.

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