- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
i know a lot of people agonize over the whole name changing thing. To be quite honest, I’ve always kind of resented the whole “woman changes her name” thing. Anyhow, when I got married the 1st time, in 1991 (yikes) I didn’t really want to change my name but my first husband wanted me to, and most people I know do, so I did. We had 2 sons, eventually. After the divorce I kept his name mostly b/c of the children.
Now I’m getting married next month. Again I’m marrying a man who would like me to change my name and doesn’t fathom what a pain in the @$$ it is to not live your entire life with the same name! (little vent there!)
So I’ve been trying to figure out what to do. Here are my thoughts:
– I kind of feel disloyal to him if I were to keep my ex-husband’s name.
– I kind of feel bad if I change and no longer have the same name as my sons although they are old enough (15 & 11) to explain it to people and I don’t care if I get stuff from the school with their name on it for me and it’s SOOOO common now it’s probably not that big of a deal these days.
– I’d kind of like to keep them both but wonder that after they’re grown and gone I’ll be annoyed I still have the ex’s name and won’t want the hassle of going to court to get rid of it.
– I’d kind of like to have some things with both names on it to “prove” my connection to my sons, like my checks for sending $ to school and activities and perhaps my passport for traveling out of the country(with them).
– Although I never really cared for my middle name I’m hesitant to drop it for my current last name b/c my mom is sick.
SO (if you made it this far wow) I’m thinking of moving my current last name to a 2nd middle so I can have it on my checks and passport and deal with not having it on my drivers license and then stop using it for the most part as I see fit.
oh, and my sons don’t really have much of an opinion, one things I shoud just change y name and the other thinks I should hypenate. (It would be kind of long but not bad sounding)
Comments? Alternatives? Suggestions? I’d love to hear your thoughts!