Post # 1
Member
6 posts
Newbee
Hi, I’m getting exasperated with this name change business and wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this because I’ve never heard of it.
I wanted my legal name to be: First Middle Maiden HisLast (no hyphen – my maiden name would be a second middle name.) When we went to get out marriage license, the clerk practically barked at me "you can’t have two last names, you have to go to court for that." Even though I explained that I didn’t WANT two last names, I wanted a second middle name, she wouldn’t budge so I decided to just take his last name and deal with it later in court if I had to.
Well, it turns out that changing your name in court in NYC where I live is a nightmare and I can’t imagine it’s actually this difficult since I’ve never heard of anyone having to do it. Anyone I know who’s married just took her husband’s last name though, so maybe it is.
Does anyone know if I can just take care of this when I get my new SS card? I’ve held off on changing a lot of official things because of this so I need to get it done soon!
Post # 3
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2018 - Our home and the two acres it sits on
I did what you wanted to do, and it all started at the SSA. I sweetly asked if I could have two middle names, since my first middle name comes from a favorite aunt, and my second middle name is my maiden name ("my father would be thrilled" — kind of a white lie), and she obliged. From that point, everyone else has to do what the SSA declares. Ha. So, while the lady at the DMV was exasperated by having to ask me what my middle initial should be (oh, the horrors), she had to match my Social Security card.
Voila!
Post # 4
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
hahahaha. This is an awesome little tale! I love it!
Post # 5
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
I second Mrs. Cheese, although it may or may not be a little late for you.
But for all future brides, change your SS card FIRST and then all other agencies will have to follow the name format. Plus SS gives you more name change options then DMV.
Post # 6
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: June 2008 - St. Catherine of Genoa, Jin Asian Cuisine Restaurant
It happened to Mrs. Bluebell too.
Read here: http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/07/20/its-always-at-the-dmv/
And here (Victory!): http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/10/04/victory-at-last/
Post # 7
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
I learned that if you want your name a certain way, get it changed on your passport after the SS card. If you do that everyone else, including the DMV, has to use your name like it’s on your passport.
Post # 8
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
I just dropped my last name and took his, my first stop was the DMV then the bank and next is the SSA. I think it sucks you we still have to pay the fees for name change on the passport, new passport fees!
Post # 9
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee
Ok, it’s been a few years for me. But I thought when Iwent to change my name, the DMV basically required me to go to the SSA first.
Post # 10
Member
6 posts
Newbee
Thanks for all the advice! I’m still a little worried though, because I did have my marriage license issued in NYC, so it doesn’t have the name I wanted like Mrs. Bluebell. It reads Bride’s Name: First Middle Last; New Surname: HisLast. I will definitely go to the SS office before the DMV (even though my license is about to expire!) but I’m wondering if maybe I should go to the SS office in my hometown out of state. Has anyone gotten a new SS card in NYC with her maiden name listed as a middle name?
Post # 11
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
In Pittsburgh, I did this (First Middle SecondMiddle NewLast). I went to the DMV first, asked if I could keep all my names, he obliged. Then I went to the SSA to get my new card. No one blinked an eye…
Post # 12
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I think it all depends on where you live. Honestly, if your planning on doing this I would start with the marriage license and go from there if it ends up putting your new name on the license. In MD, only your maiden name is on the marriage license, so you can change it however you want (so I’ve been told). I’m dropping my maiden name so it won’t be an issue for me, but good luck to everyone else!
Post # 13
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
I did the same JeniRae – went to DMV first, then SS, and everyone was fine (except for the huge long lines I stood in!)
Post # 14
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
Each state is different. GA lets you change your DL without having your new SS card, but I would start with the SSA. You just fill out a form with the name you want and show them your marriage certificate to prove you are married. Then get your name changed the same way on your DL. Carry your marriage cert around while you make changes just in case other places need you to prove you are married (I had to do this to get my plates changed on my car, even though I had my new DL issued by the state AND my new SS card). The name on the card is your legal name.
Post # 15
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee
SS wasn’t very lenient for me… They told me that because my middle name wasn’t listed on my marriage certificate, it can’t be on my social security card… which is BS because it’s right there on my birth certificate AND my old social security card, but whatever. I don’t particularly care for my middle name and I never use it for legal documents anyway so I didn’t put up a fight. It’s part of who I am, but not worth the struggle. I asked if that meant I don’t have a middle name anymore, and she said no, it doesn’t mean that, but not to put it on my DMV documents or anything… Seriously, where AM I supposed to put it, if not for my LEGAL documentation? But, whatever. This was in the NYC SS office (Brooklyn office to be precise).
Post # 16
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
i live in nyc and am trying to change my middle name to my maiden name. i went to ss office and was told that the last name change was no problem, as long as you have your marriage cert, but that to legally change the middle name, you have to go to court to do so. i contacted customer service for the website missnowmrs.com and they told me that there are only four states in the u.s. that require you to go to court to change your middle name to your maiden name after getting married, ny being one of them. i am in the process of gathering all the documents to do so. i had to get a certified copy of my birth certificate from tx and today i am going to civil court to turn in the forms for a name change. there is a $65 fee. while there, the judge is supposed to give me a hearing date. after going to the hearing, i am supposed to have my new name published in a newspaper. after i get the proof of publication back to the judge, they will give me official documents showing that i have legally changed my name. talk about a hassle. i am hoping that when i get to court today, the judge will tell me that i am mistaken and that i do not have to go through this whole process to get my name changed. i will let you know if that is the case (fingers crossed!).
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